It is freezing in here...the wind is blowing through the patio door...
Spoke with Tere last night...its been a while...our daily talks have slowed due to her uncle dieing and her having to arrange his funeral and take care of his affairs on Pender Island. She is also 'officially' with Kevin now who has moved into the city so she has someone to occupy her mind and time more which is a good thing. She told me last night that the coroner report finally came in - 5 mths after Taylor's death - saying that his alcohol level was over the legal limit and the antidepressants he started taking were within the therapeutic range. What does this mean? Well...your guess is as good as any one's really...it doesn't solidify anything except it is likely that Taylor was up drinking all night which leads Tere to imagine he was sad and crying and this absolutely guts her beyond words...she has no idea how he got booze since he had been at her place that same evening looking to bum 10 bucks for smokes....which he never came back for. Personally - I think booze and antidepressants are a deathly cocktail for a lot of people...add gun ownership into the mix and it is a recipe for disaster. I can honestly say throughout my life at some of the very very bad times if a gun was readily available to me I have no idea if I would still be here...it makes it easy to make an irrational, lethal decision. My brother had nothing in his system...he was not altered at all in his decision (aside from the obvious depression)...I am not sure whats worse...losing someone this way hen they were out of their mind and altered....or knowing they were methodical and deliberate in their actions. Either way...it all fucking sucks the grossest of ass and comfort/resolution is rarely provided by these reports.
Last night I watched a movie called FISH TANK...it was odd but I couldn't stop watching it...I wanted to b/c I have had my fill of bitchy teenagers and this movie had a bitchy BRITISH teenager...though I will say her mother was horrifying in the maternal dept so she came by it legitimately.
Today I think I need to rearrange my bedroom....it's not working for me...and the bike to nowhere may be coming out in the living room...and can be used as an additional seat when company comes over. HA! This will take up my whole day...and warm me up.
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