Wednesday, July 04, 2012

saw some dong this weekend...

Pretty fun weekend...so much laughing...gawd you forget how fun your family is until they are around. Everyone's beating the door down to the bathroom to avoid peeing their pants laughing so hard. Pam almost rocketing a Wii remote through the TV was a highlight...Pam & Maggie shop until they drop but the thing is they never drop...they are immortal vampire-like shoppers while I am not in love with shopping...very mortal and generally avoid shopping whenever I can...their fun company though is what keeps it tolerable...the quesadilla maker they bought us has not rendered my boob wounded though so this is good. I have eaten quesadillas every day since they left...no injury...which is good b/c the waffle steam burn is really ugly now...no pain just a scabby piece o' titty bacon. Single IT IS fellas...single it is.

Saturday nights venture into Big John Bates land was...well...inferior to past ventures. The venue – Soprano's – sucks the balls of monkeys, donkeys and llamas. Soprano's is a douche bag bar and the problem with events such as these is the douche bag crowd is still there when a cool act is booked so it is a drag to have to be in the presence of such douchebaggery when you are going to see someone great play. When BJB plays Lucky Bar the vibe is TOTALLY different b/c the douche bag element is removed entirely...plus the stage is set up so that the band is showcased...at Soprano's – not blocked out by the retarded drunks flailing up front. Even Logan's would have been better...ugh – I hate you Soprano's. I bought a few cds that I have been dying to own though so I am now able to get my BJB fix...it appears the Voodoo Dollz portion of the show is done now though which is too bad as I quite enjoy that but the new sound on the new EP I picked up with Brandy Bones doing more vocals is pretty hot shit. While perusing the internet for BJB info I read he was the original singer for that Canadian mental band Annihilator...omfg I howled at that...I checked out an old pic of him from the time and that was amusing...as are most 80s/90s metal personas. I like where he went with his career...he has seen the world doing what he loves...cannot get much better than that.

We have a new fridge at work...it has a freezer. This will FOR CERTAIN change my life...ICE WATER at work...ice cold gel packs to combat the heat...freezies...I can bring in frozen stuff I make at home to eat for lunch at work without the bother of doing it daily...omg SO AWESOME...it is the small stuff in life that keeps me jolly.

MAGIC MIKE: Horny Lisa & I went to see it... and really it was not as useless and cheesie as I expected...The visual effects (haha) were fantastic – I mean really...what is better than a buncha hot guys who can dance gyrating around without the horror of having to see their penis? I have always preferred female strippers...mainly b/c having to see the goofy appendage of male strippers ruins the whole fun of it in my opinion...they should keep their junk covered at all times. It was a decent movie though – will it change your life – NOPE...but it isn't gawd awful either...and if you like hot guys dancing around – you will not be disappointed.

I saw more wiener in the movie WANDERLUST which I watched last night via the nudist in the movie was exposed a lot...so his dong is forever etched into the bowels of my mind...in fact the scene where the group of nudists run away from a careening vehicle is completely horrifying....be warned. I will say though that the scene where Paul Rudd is looking in the bathroom mirror trying to pump himself up to sleep with the resident hottie...I DIED...I was DYING...I laughed so hard...hysterically could not stop watching him go on and on saying the stupidest shit on earth in the most stupid ways...that scene...jfc...slayed me. Not sure if it will make anyone else on earth laugh like I did but....what else is new?! http://youtu.be/K-Cjn7JMqgE I just watched 4 seconds of it and had to turn it off b/c I was starting to laugh so hard....

2 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You have no idea how relieved I am to hear that you did not quesadilla your boob. Feel free to acquire a deep fryer now.

~Jen~ said...

ha ha ha me too...I have purposefully not been graphic describing my titty bacon from the waffle maker incident....I should get a medal.