Thursday, October 18, 2012

Funny Face McGoo

Nice hanging with Maggie and Sidney last weekend...Sidney seriously makes the best faces of all 3 year olds ever. He is a true ham. Maggie did not get much rest unfortunately but...she claims the escapism was good for her. Her due date being the beginning of Feb. 2013 is creating some issues b/c she has 2 staff members who did not bother to consider the implications of them spitting out babies in Jan. 2013 and April 2013. See the issue there? Not enough staff to operate a business...and replacing them is not easy as few people on PR are qualified so.............she could very well end up like a Chinese Rice Paddy Woman (EDIT: this is not intended as a racial slur at all...Asian women who farm and work hard are hardcore and are not afforded such pampering as North American women are - it was used as a complete compliment) and pop the baby out and have to go right back to work which is fairly bogus. Not quite what she had in mind for certain. We won't talk about how all of this has impacted her prenatal care and plans to birth in Nanaimo with the previous Dr who knows what went sideways last time re: her blood she is stuck in PR unless she is flown out due to emergency. Ugh – complicated BS.

Interesting volunteer training on Monday...we split up into groups for 3 to do an exercise and I asked them both why they volunteered (I like getting in people's heads) lady said she had always wanted to and also wanted to learn more about abusive relationships b/c 15 yrs ago she had been married to someone (9 yr relationship) who busted her arm...the hospital staff and friends and family all told her to leave him b/c she was in an abusive relationship – in the 9 yrs they were together he got physical 4x...we have been learning that not all relationships of this nature are 'abusive'....abusive relationships generally entail a level of manipulation, control and other mindfuckery and sometimes but not always physical as this woman has been going through the training reading about all the factors and such she is realizing he was not a classic abuser at all...he had a shitty temper once in a while and acted like a fool and hurt her but there was not ever mindfuckery, manipulation, emotional abuse or anything that would constitute it as an abusive relationship (he went to meetings and groups and counselling and always maintained he was not like those men but that is also a typical response – he told her he never tried controlling her or make her feel worthless or bad – he never tried to downplay his behaviour or make excuses) while the 3 of us are talking about this she says that relationship was amazing for her...she was 95% happy with and the other gal in the group look at each other and I announce I have never been anywhere near 95% in my life in a relationship...and the other gal agreed she never had a 95% relationship either...the woman also says that in the 15 yrs since she left him b/c she felt she was under such pressure to do so she has never been in another relationship b/c no one she meets measures up to her ex regret...

I have been thinking about this a lot since...mainly b/c I am relationship retarded and this blows my mind. In the last few years I have basically come to the conclusion (that is obvious to everyone else on the planet that has ever been in a normal relationship) that being in a relationship requires a certain amount of compromise/shit eating (not literally)/selling out of one's expectations...I get it – humans are not perfect...I know I could never be anyone's be all end all perfect companion b/c I am way too neurotic and psycho – but it all comes down to acceptance which I am apparently really shitty at. Perhaps if you really love someone acceptance comes easier (I assume this to be true) in which case I have yet to really "be there" was interesting b/c I think ppl assume if someone breaks their wife's arm they must have an abusive is easy to assume that...I would assume that even now...but really sometimes ppl are just assholes with horrible tempers and do stupid horrible things and external factors are involved and are not necessarily abusive as a whole. This makes me rethink some of my previous judgments about certain people and really clears up some I in point I have 1 ex who was abusive and covers the gamut of behaviors to be a textbook abusive asshole...this is no surprise @ all – I knew he was back then and studied him like a science project until I ended it which then brought on the fun of dealing with such an asshole after a breakup...I changed my # and email account and never looked back... he stopped calling my boss at work trying to get me fired after I called the cops. Revisiting his personality via FB 12+ yrs later did not last long b/c he is the same asshole and Wendy P and I had fun mocking him before I blocked him finally. Fun times...the rest however are just regular people...some losers - some not...

The Led Zeppelin reunion concert last night at the movie theatre was great...such a kick ass band...closest I will ever come to seeing them live so I savored every moment. No Quarter was my favorite of the night...I could have curled up in my seat with a blanket and just closed my eyes grooving to that forever. I drank Lisa's drink by big deal right? Yeah – unless I would make out with someone I don't generally want their spit in my offense to Lisa at all...but we aren't friends "like that" I am rather mortified that I got her spit in my mouth and in turn she got mine in her mouth b/c now it is like we are lesbians or something crazy.

Lisa was kind enough to part with her old record collection and gave me dibs...oh it is 80's madness!!! I gave back the Jimmy and Kristy McNicol record and a few other gems (haha) but scored some Streetheart, Blondie, BeeGee's, Beach Boys, Bob Dylan, Dr Hook etc Oh and don't forget BONEY M!!!!!! BAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA too funny. Thank you Lisa! Come over and listen to records please!

1 comment:

Maggie Ellwyn said...

ugh. my life sucks. haha. lucky for me i have a 3 year old who makes the best faces ever!! :)