Friday, April 19, 2013

Slippery Slope (prepare for swear words)

All good things are worth the effort and trouble right?? Right? It seems I need to step up my fitness regime a notch or 2...I am not feeling the effects as much as I want so today I was thinking back to fall 2009...how did I do that...? Lose almost 70 lbs in the course of 4 mths...? Ohhhh righttttttttttttttttttttt...yeah I ate less and exercised more but I was also distracted by cock and balls. The person attached to the cock and balls was not worthy of that sort of effort then or now but - that C&B set sure were. Funny how that works...seeing that I have now been forever (?) turned off the idea of a relationship or even companionship of a male specimen the C&B distraction is going to be a bit of a challenge to overcome b/c there is nothing like a good set of C&B to make your mind wander during shitty, disgusting, sweaty, miserable exercise to somewhere else so you forget you are on the verge of a gawd damn heart attack.

The problem with the 2009 C&B Campaign of Excellence was that I managed to completely ruin my feet in the process...clearly I did not foresee this or I may have gone a gentler route at a gym or something but...it is what it is...not too many can claim they have had their feet ruined by C&B. So fast fwd to 2013...here I am with another mangled foot (the other one has been pretty good since the cortisone shot KNOCK ON WOOD!) - even bloody worse - I sleep with a gigantic and stupid looking mock ski boot at night for relief (such a C&B magnet that thing would be), I wear crocs indoors, orthotics outdoors, I do stretching exercises, ice the frickin thing...going to the gym 3 days a week isn't cutting it...so I am thinking of trying 5 days a week for 1 full hour of cardio...

See how I am not in this photo? Yeah...EXACTLY.
The mere thought of no day in between for my foot to recover makes me almost throw up a little...which would mean I would have to go on one of those RIDICULOUS machines I have been avoiding since I joined the gym - THE ELLIPTICAL. I fucking hate elliptical machines...but what I hate even more is being circus fat and having a mangled foot SOOOOOOOOOOOOO I am thinking...what if I just make myself do it - suck it up and just resign myself to the fact that if I want to do this I am going to have to kill my spirit to do it until it becomes normal...every day after work...straight to the gym...weekends will be my sanctity of rest and relaxation...I am gunna give it a go....fml...

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: do not let yourself get fat...it is a complete mindfuck and torture to get un-fat. I hate the gym...I hate the ppl there...all the thin ppl running and jogging with their ponytails flapping all happily...the muscle tard men who stare at themselves with masturbatory intensity...the fake titty lady with the athletic physique and manly face who puts make up on BEFORE working out...hate everything about it  - but until I live in a bldg with its own gym this is as good as it is gunna get.

That is my Friday whinge...

2 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I feel for you, sista! I am having major struggles with fat and injury the past couple of years. It's one big viscous circle, innit?
Would it help to ride the stationary bike at the gym occasionally? Save your foot?

~Jen~ said...

Sorry to hear...it is a bitch alright....

There is a certain NOT TO BE SEEN IN PUBLIC jiggle factor with recumbent bikes...the action of the legs/knees smashing into ones gut.....SO NOT INTERESTED.