Monday, September 23, 2013

The Splats

I do not to 'the splits' - I do 'the splats'. In fact I just did the splats on Saturday. Completely by accident. Against my will. In grand fashion.

Not how I looked!
I have a bit of a reputation for falling. Not just tripping and such but falling and seriously injuring myself. I haven't fallen in a long time so I guess I was due for the humdinger on Saturday. Truth is, I am usually careful b/c after seeing Hot Donna's broken ankle I do not EVER want that in my life...ever. But as you well know these things are rarely planned...and my latest wipe out was not only unplanned it was really weird too.

Picture this...very small kitchen with lino that Aunty Pam has just washed...I am standing on the carpet and I take 1 step back...that foot hits the wet lino and takes off like a fuggin' rocket. The other foot is firmly planted on the carpet and is NOT moving. See where this is going...?

Not only did this fat girl do a violent version of the splits (aka the splats) she smashed into the stove behind her with much force which must have been quite the scene for Jim...thank gawd Pam was looking the other way b/c I think she would have pissed her pants laughing otherwise.

So - I go down hard, with a loud clatter and I feel a popping/rip in the back of my thigh (not my pants - turns out them muscles are your hamstrings...hello hamstrings....) that I have never felt before in my life. I just laid there weeping briefly...trying to decide if I was going to die of embarrassment or thigh pain...omfg it hurt like a mofo...I had a baby without crying or making much noise so it's not like I am lacking pain tolerance....I eventually pulled myself up...careful to not RE-SLIP. Probably wouldn't have survived that. ha! I could feel this was not my typical injury that I usually feel the next day....I could already feel it and knew I effed it pretty nice...we carried on with the day...I was slightly more useless after that then I was previous to the wipe out.

By the time we got home that night around 8 pm....I had ice on it and knew I would be feeling it even worse the next morning...and I was correct...the day after was the I didn't have to work and I ditched the volunteer shift I usually do to rest and is on the

mend but tomorrow when I go to work I am a bit anxious about stepping up on to the bus and stepping off the bus...I can only take small slow steps and that is not really bus-like behavior. Mind you getting into and out of a cab doesn't appeal to me either so...the bus wins.

Sitting all day is going to be an issue...we will see how it goes.

So yeah...coordinated as ever...but still hobbling!


Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh gawd! I did a very similar thing a few years ago, slipped on some slush on a concrete floor, and heard that same sickening pop-rip sound. I had to be helped to the car, which was miles and miles away (it seemed). My heart goes out to you; it does take a while to heal, but it will heal.

~Jen~ said...

Ughhh sorry about your luck too! It makes me sick to even think about that moment...the last 2 days at work have made it worse so im staying home tomorrow. FFS...glad I am not the only least u had the excuse of slippery weather though hhahhaaa