A last grasp at the life worth living...

The sickness is upon me...no warding it off now....I blame Ayla and her grrl germs. I particularly love walking up to a massive LIE too...but I wont get into that on here...lets just say some near 16 yr old is pushing her fucking luck, even with me. Gawd...parenting is demoralizing and completely ridiculous @ the moment...oh to be able to fast fwd through this bullshit....sigh. (thanks mags)

Today is shopping day with Tracey...I gotta get a couple more pairs of dress pants...this is against my will I will have you know...I hate buying dress pants...hate hate hate...I need shoes that go with dress pants even more but I am not sure they exist and can accommodate my comfort/walking needs. Maybe I will have to be one of them ppl that walk to work in runners and put on different shoes at work...I don't wanna be one of them ppl though - I dunno why...but I don't.

Last night was DATELINE...I have been watching this one story unfold since last year about a guy whose wife fucked off with his son to Brazil 5 yrs ago and his struggles with the legal system to get his son back...its all very convoluted and fucked up honestly, even after shed died he couldn't get his kid back as the only other blood parent...the poor kid was brainwashed terribly in the process of all this and anyway I love a good story where good shit finally happens to someone who waits out the bullshit and I was sucked right in...(**Kudos to G for not getting irritated when I would only call him during commercials for 2 hours hahaha)...I have now taken Brazil off my travel list...those mother fuckers ignored international law not sending that kid back after a parental kidnapping and said fuck u to the Hague Convention...bad bad bad Brazil.

I am drinking tea from my jesus cup, just so you know. I think I want some jesus underwear.

We are all quite alone in the universe.
This is my general opinion...even with family, friends, partners, at the end of it all we are all solitary beings...we are born alone and die alone...when you are sitting on a bus, on a dark rainy night, with headphones on, with a wet umbrella in your hand that is dripping onto your jeans b/c its Friday jean day....you are alone. Being alone is not BAD by any means, it is what it is...sometimes it is a welcomed state of bliss, sometimes it is a pure form of torture...all depends where your head is at.
My head is clear currently...this is surprising though all this lay off limbo etc...I think my aunty Pam is rubbing off on me a little...her indifference about shit she has no control over...I like it and hope it sticks.