Thursday, February 11, 2010

starfucks

i dont drink coffee - never have
i drink tea.
and i resent paying 2 bucks for a 5 cent cup of tea at a place like starfucks.
what i do like though is their OAT BARS...omfg it is oatty orgasmic goodness.
too bad its at starfucks...although ive had an equally good oat bar from another coffee shop in town...

i like thinking how vanoc folk and certain organizers and govt peeps are paranoid about the opening ceremonies being a flop or something WEIRD happening while the world watches...i like it when ppl i think are fraudsters sefl serving shits are paranoid and possibly stressed out...but as we have already determined im a bad person.

i watched curling on tv the opther day and was rather enthralled...all it is is giant shuffle board except its not my drunk granny playing it on ice.

i was trying to think of who i would wanna sleep with in my fantasy dreamland....graeme is hot and bothered for kate bush (i dunno what she looks like now though)...and that stupid emilie autumn tart...so i was thinking out of all my pretend husbandswho would i actually wanna sleep with....

not matt good b/c he has reached musical god status 4 me above and beyond anything else...plus ive spent years avoiding meeting him for good reason - to preserve my focus soully on the music...and avoid the nightmare of having a human experience with mr good where he is possibly not chatty or sick or cranky...my worst nightmare would be to walk away from interviewing him or at a meet n greet and thinking "what a fucker"...(that and i could possibly wet myself)...ohhh no i know he is human...and while i am an epic fan i dont trust myself to be able to separate my potential hurt feelings from the music and NOTHING I MEAN NOTHING will ruin his music for me NOT EVEN HIM haha i have also made a conscious choice to NEVER associate any other human to his music...u know u get a song and it reminds you of boyfriend # 83458374 and then when that goes sideways the song is forever marred and ruined for u...NO WAY...no one owns the mg songs in my head BUT ME!

henry rollins....well i wouldnt sleep with him unless he loved me and then went on to write about me in books about how i saved his broken blackened heart from a life of lonely one-ness...how i turned him from a broken lonely man to a man alive with love in his heart...he has so much to give after all...so seeing as thats unlikely to happen i guess hes off the list too....

maynard james keenan....well we all know that would be a one time thing dont we....? ok ill leave him on the list so long as he has good hair at the time and doesnt try to anally rape me.

i do like hugh jackman but he cant be on my list b/c hes a good man with a family and kids and isnt a hollywood dirt bag....

johnny depp...he is too beautiful to fuck. the end.

so...great ---- i dont really have anyone in fantasy fuckland anymore....RUDE.
graeme cant have someone if i dont have someone!

SUGGESTIONS PLEASE! & who are your fantasy fuckland wishes??

13 comments:

Maureen said...

I would have no problem fucking too beautiful. I'll let you know how it is.

Conky said...

id have to be drunk.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

haha what a dilemma you have!

It'd have to be someone not too well known on this side of the earth. So you aren't constantly reminded of him when it eventually all goes to shit. I dunno, someone like Daniel Bruhl?

exnihlo said...

Shakira
Natalie Portman
Sandra Oh
Not in that order.
All at once.

Conky said...

Guy this is the oddest list.....NATALIE PORTMAN wtf?!
and what about our favorite porn star grrl...?

exnihlo said...

What's wrong with Natalie Portman? She's smart, good hearted, beautiful.....

I didn't include Aria because I didn't want to make you jealous.

Anonymous said...

I guess your beloved RS isn't a candidate either? I was racking my brain yesterday with this one and I honestly couldn't think of any famous dude that I'd crawl into bed with. Not sure why.

Conky said...

nothing is wrong with her...she just doesnt strike me as fuckable is all.
(good hearted hahaha wtf)

Aria...yes...I wouldnt share her with you!

Conky said...

Adele...nah...RS...hes like...60 something haha

Conky said...

Barb - u have inspired me to do a post with just pics of ppl id make out with now...

exnihlo said...

Ok, I only said Natalie Portman because I knew if I said Penelope Cruz you'd yell at me.

Conky said...

ok you are correct about that.

exnihlo said...

I have to be honest. It's Penelope Cruz. Final answer.