It’s just me and Matt Good today @ work....the lady beside me doesn’t work on Mondays so I listen to whatever I like at a slightly higher volume than usual. Been pretty slow today so I have been puttering and doing tidy up crap. I just spoke to the most annoying – over talking man...gawd I want to punch over talkers in the face...
One thing I will say for dirt bag men...they sure make you appreciate good guys... (Yes, Maureen they exist, same as unicorns...do not be discouraged) I am sure it is the same for women, being married to a crazy naggy nutbar for any length of time would make you appreciate someone a little less crazy. I am not all that experienced in long term relationships...I guess you could say I have lacked the desire and trust required to pull a real one off...that and parenting proved to be all consuming for me...now that Ms Ayla has little to no use for me (sob!) things feel a little different. Like it is the right time...right person...being on the same page with a person seems to make a huge difference. I have always tended to end up with ppl unable to commit in the fashion in which I require - whether this was my way to avoid relationships or I just have extremely poor taste in men (likely both haha) I am not sure...haha I find this amusing thinking back to the last few people I have been involved with, seriously and not, and omfg...thank gawd I can laugh at myself. I go from being a complete mental case over this shit to being disturbingly apathetic. It is all to do with where I am at in my head at the time of the “relationship”... Example being this summer I was in a terrible head space and had no business being with anyone in any capacity...but at the same time it made me appreciate what I got at the end of that shitty summer (no not crabs!).
Time to get back on the exercise train and resume my past diligence...I am currently maintaining but I feel way better when I am being diligent even though a crap load more work with food prep and time taken to exercise are required whether I like it or not.
I am a bad person and feel the extreme urge to not have a cat anymore. I wish they had a shorter life span...isn’t that crappy of me to say?!?!?! I should stick to rodents...3 yrs max and they die. Who wants a cat...? She is a nice cat, neurotic and weird but nice, she’s quite funny and plays fetch...SEE NOW I WANT TO KEEP HER!!! I HATE HER CAT HAIR! I hate that needy look of desperation on her face all the time when she wants affection...I hate that she will not get the EFF outta the way when I am walking...it’s like she wants to die! I hate how she is so curious and jumps on my counters regardless of endless beatings and scare tactics...I hate how I have to barricade things to keep her off or out...OK NOW I DONT WANT HER...until she jumps on the couch where I am sitting with a pistachio or a peanut and wants me to play fetch with her....GAWD!!!!!!
Watched an interesting show on THE NATURE OF THINGS on CBC the other night THE DOWNSIDE OF HIGH (CLICK IT...u can watch it, it is quite interesting)...the effects of weed on the teenage brain. GAWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD...someone just shoot me...weed nowadays is 4-5x more POTENT than it was in the 60’s & 70’s so you can’t even compare the activity, in fact they are considering trying to get a different name for today’s weed b/c it is an entirely different drug than it was in the hippy days. Then there is the schizophrenia trigger factor and all those teenage neurons not getting to where they need to be to make for a good healthy adult mind...fuck. It is impossible to know if you are over reacting or not as a parent...u don’t wanna UNDER REACT and make it seem like you condone shitty behaviours but u don’t wanna over react either and drive them into the arms of their weed dealer...having ZERO control over situations does not feel good at all. Sure I have control to a degree or ULTIMATE CONTROL really but...unless I am willing to tie my kid to a chair and not let her out of the house I am pretty much at the mercy of her common sense and ability to make decisions...luckily she is a good kid essentially...good grades, always has a job and her own $ (see the problem with that right now though? LOL) – Just such a shitty time being 16 and a total jerk to your poor mother (hahaha)! All u can do is cross your damn fingers and hope the base you provided for them stands up...
Wow...now I am depressed...blogging sucks.
6 comments:
lets put my dog and your cat in a locked room and you can keep whoever survives!
I STILL LOSE EITHER WAY MARGARET!!!!! Nice try sneaky haha
haha! dang!
didn't i warn you about that cat? I said pick the other one, but would you listen? nooooooooooo
I KNOW! YOU DID! I wanted the black one too gawd dammit...I am sure it wouldnt have been near as needy and psycho.
Unicorns, huh? I guess I'll just have to take your word for it.... I do the same thing you did though, so partly my bad.
Someone (I can't remember who) recently told me about the drug/schizo tie-in, so I figure I should be totally schizo by now since it runs in the family anyway. Hey, could I blame THAT on dirt bag men? hmmmmm
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