May 13 2010 - long winded me

Thursday is a good day...it’s my busy day at work with then Notary Society sends me a batch of authentications to process...I wish I got this much work every day. NEXT JOB WILL BE A BUSY JOB!!! Don’t get me wrong...I like this work and the people here and the job - it is just not enough work for me...this is not a full time position for someone at all organized and efficient...which likely explains why the person that “owns” this position was always run ragged apparently – judging by the mess she left me for clean up (binders and folders and such) the woman is a fucking office disaster. My turn around time is 1 day...that right people...a government office providing a service to the public has a 1 day turnaround time...the lawyers I speak to daily and clients are stunned by this but it’s just how it is...I don’t fuck around. I could take 3 days but I can get all the work I receive per day done that same day and mailed back out the next morning so WHY WOULDNT I?! And it is not just that I am particularly super fabulous (although you know I am) – anyone could do this if they wanted to. Trained monkeys even – although they would have trouble with the attention to detail required for the documents...but they could use the embosser and rivet machine and look cute as shit doing it!

I got an oat bar today. Mmm mMmM mMm mm mm Oats.

CONFESSION TIME: I am addicted to FAMILY GUY. I hate Peter...he sickens me and rarely makes me laugh – he is gross but Stewie...my sweet Stewie....I love Stewie. I will kill Lois for you Stewie if you promise to come live with me and play cribbage with me and talk to me in that amazing accent while we sip on tea and talk shit about everyone...when Graeme talks like Stewie it makes me swoon and laugh...mostly laugh. HaHa

I like my hair right now a lot. I have to do NOTHING with it...I wash it.....dry is a little and that’s all – no hairspray...no nothing...I love low maintenance hair...I have no idea if it looks good to anyone else on the planet but I don’t really care about that at all...it’s all about me baby!

My birds are not coming back...again this morning it’s this annoying chirping little fucker...I probably wouldn’t have noticed the chirping if I wasn’t used to my other birds, they tweeted a little nicer and less SHRILL actually...oh woe is me.

I have applied for the EAW job again....the one I didn’t get last time b/c I blew ONE QUESTION during the interview (meaning I got 3/5 rather than 5/5) FUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG...so I will go for it again...I won’t have to re-test again thank gawd (u recall that was the job with the hideous testing prior to getting interviewed) so....hopefully I will get screened in for a new interview...I am still waiting to hear about the other jobs I applied for but they aren’t closed until the end of the week so...that’ll be a while yet.

I think it was Aunty Pam who sent me those free movie passes.....THANK YOU AUNTY PAM!!! I was CSI’ing the envelope and handwriting and that’s the conclusion I came to. This weekend I am hoping we can go see ROBIN HOOD...Muahahahhahahaha!!! Did you know I saw the crappy 90s Kevin Costner Robin Hood movie about 9x in the theatre. I lived right next to the Eagle Ridge Theatre in Coquitlam @ the time and well...I saw it quite regularly while it was in the theatre b/c I think I was in love with Christian Slater @ the time. I think that was the same theatre Ayla’s dad talked me into seeing Child of the Corn XIVI or whatever wayyy wayyyy back...shitty movie...as was Robin Hood back then....

What a weird time that was. I was living in Coquitlam, nannying for this woman named Deb who looked like a female Sebastian Bach, her kids Erin (7) and Dylan (3) – decent kids...her boyfriend John was psycho....at one point during this fiasco she had tried to kick him out but couldn’t b/c his name was on the lease too so she moved herself and the kids to the basement and slept with the door locked and blocked by furniture and slept with a knife under her pillow b/c he was a friggin mental. He tried to kill us all too by messing with the bbq propane hose/tank...yeah that was awesome. Once he was finally out she hooked up with a friend of mine (Marco) who was 10 yrs her junior...this was a weirder situation after that so I moved out and in with Laura in Port Moody where I was eventually knocked up a year later...HA! I then got a job at the YMCA Daycare in Metrotown Mall....that commute was SUPER JEWISH!!! 2 hours by bus and sky train to work and 2.5ish hours home after 10 hr shifts. Longgggg days...I’d get up at 4 to leave at 5 to get to work at 7 am....then work til 5....get home around 7:30-8 pm and be in bed by 9 pm....SUCKKKKKKKK!

When Laura moved out I had this twat named Tanya from work move in....Tanya was a hypochondriac...and her boyfriend Simon was an OCD hand washer...made for great material...
That all ended quite badly once I was pregnant...it is a great story....actually...for real...ok I will tell it....when I found out I was preggy it was rather shocking, I had just kicked out Phil for dogging me and had a lot of decisions to make...as it turned out I was immediately sick as hell and spent most of my time throwing up or trying to not throw up or trying to find a place to throw up and maintain some dignity in public...it was turning into me being unable to do my job...getting to and from was incredibly difficult, hopping off the bus to vomit at every other stop and having to jump back on etc...not cool...and try dealing with shitty diapers and snotty noses when you are nauseous 24/7....ended up having to go on medical EI....and needed to decide if I was staying in the city or moving to PR...I left this choice up to the reaction of the 2 ppl I called to announce that I was pregnant. My mom lived in Surrey at the time....and Aunty Pam in Powell River.

Problem was I couldn’t afford to live in the city alone...alone b/c my fab roomie Tanya had just told me she was moving out and had given notice to the landlords so I was faced with finding someone else to move in (yeah who wants to move in with a pregnant grrl? Yeah – no one)...or paying rent solo which was impossible at the time. I called my mom, told her...I called Pam...told her...and decided I should go back to PR despite getting hives at the mere thought of it...fact was I had more family and support in PR than I would have had in the city so it was just a logical choice...plus Aunty Pam’s jubilation over the prospect of a new baby in the family was really really sweet!

So I quit my job.....and made all the move plans and give notice to the landlords...and they seem unsurprised....and make a comment about the place becoming a daycare center...ummm what? Oh yes Tanya has told them she was going to live there and run a daycare down there once I was gone. See what happened there? She told me she was moving out, forced my hand to move out as well....but was actually staying and not moving and did not give notice - b/c it was a great place and perfect as a daycare really...
I figured this all out while standing there and nearly lost my fucking mind at the cunning manipulation I was just victimized with....let me tell you that was ONE LONGGGG MONTH living in that suite with Tanya...in between vomiting I regularly did everything I could to piss her off...we had a few near fist fights as well...it was pretty heated and intense.

It was 30 days of malice, loathing and pure hatred. I didn’t have much as far as revenge tactics but I did manage to fuck her quite nicely before I left....it was a beautiful moment...the day I was moving out me and my mom were loading up the truck and as we were finishing Tanya all sweet comes up to me and hands me the phone bill and says I should settle up before I go, all smiley and friendly like the last 30 days was just a movie we watched together....and not lived...I had spent the month calling everyone on the fucking planet I could (phone was in her name) and had every jail pen pal I had call me collect every day...I knew that last bill and the one after were gunna be ass kickers and I had no intention of settling up shit all with that manipulative asshole who chose to kick me while I was down...I just handed it back to her and told her to go fuck herself and have fun paying that off. I felt good...to this day I have not one shred of regret over that...I am sure that bill was 1000.00 for the 2 mths. If I could recall her last name I would find her on Facebook and send her a message that just said “HAHAHA HAHAHAH AHAHHA HAHAHAHA”. Yes I am that petty.