Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Summer Bummer


1st day of summer…I cannot express with human words the level of anxiety this brings up in me. Much like the phone call I am waiting for. I agreed to be involved in a study about sibling suicide. In a few minutes some American university student will be calling me to question me for about 40 mins on my experience. I am a little anxious as I do not know what kind of Q’s will be asked…at the same time I am kind of interested in seeing her final project. 

Ayla’s boyfriend Sean is celebrating his birthday today. Ayla took him to The Keg for his birthday…Ms Money Bags! She has never taken me the The Keg…EVER…and I am the one who earned 2 cooch stitches pushing her out…among other parental horrors I won’t delve into.

LATER: Oh wow that was a very interesting interview. I had a terrible feeling I was going to fall apart and I did. I am so predictable. Interesting study though – I am looking fwd to reading her final paper on it; she has agreed to send me a copy to read. I look forward to it as she brought up a lot of family dynamic questions that I haven’t really thought about b/c my family is so fragmented. Whew…glad that’s over. I need a drink. Amazing that loss suffered so long ago (11 yrs now) has a way of rendering you incapable of feeling any differently than you did right at the time it all went down. I have been thinking about Wendy a lot this week…her son was just a few yrs younger than Glenn was and it sounds as though his death was a suicide and it is just such a special mind fuck…not just for Wendy but her 2 other sons as well…such a terrible terrible loss to try and wrap your head around.

School is out now…fml.

This mail strike is SOOOOO annoying me…its messing me up at work and I am waiting for some items off eBay I really frigging need for Madelyn’s b’day pressie I am making her…plus…I use the mail a lot and I have crap to mail!!!!!!!! Hopefully I hear by the start of next week it will be resolved…

4 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I hope you got that drink into you. The interview sounds like it was a brutal experience. I can't imagine that anyone would ever get past feeling fragile after family suicide.

~Jen~ said...

Yeah I am fairly certain it is always going to be a very raw subject for me...really though this raised some interesting Qs re: family dynamic that I will continue to ponder for quite some time...it will be interesting howshe puts all her data together from all her interviews.

wtfisaywtf said...

how did it go? was it as mind-wiping as you anticipated?

~Jen~ said...

it was fairly brutal...I was a mess just over half way through but did manage to finish...it brought up a lot of stuff......................