Happy 37th Little Brother

 

I will not eat cake in your honor today which is a pretty big deal. haha

Glenn would be 37 today....which is really weird since he only lived to be 24...he would be a full grown adult by now...probably would have a kid or 2...a wife or 2...oh so many never-to-knows.

xo

My favorite photos of A's trip...

Finally....

I just heard A's voice for the 1st time in over 2 months and let me tell you...when you spend 2 months on auto-pilot, with your guts permanently wrenched with fear and desperately trying to master the true art of denial...it is sweet fucking relief to know that your kid is as safe as she is ever going to be in the world - without you following her around as a bodyguard carrying a machete and looking imposing - that is.

Connie asked me what I learned about myself through this experience...well...let's see...I am more neurotic than I thought but am capable of a slim degree of denial when it comes down to self preservation. When A 1st left I was a mess for about 3 days...I was not empty-nesting or anything stupid like that....I have this terrible, paralyzing mental problem where I am constantly thinking during moments like her departure at the ferry terminal that it could be the last time I ever saw her. Does everything think this way and just manage to push it away and out of their minds? I don't know - but I can't do it...my brain is on over load always thinking this end of the world shit...it is exhausting. I am logical and know I have no control over anything that happens to her now...and she could just as easily die falling down the stairs to get the mail as trekking around South America...I get it...yet...it consumes me still. I am really hoping that after this trip I can find a place in my head to ram all this stuff so I am not ruled by fear and irrational BS that uses up all my energy and focus.

Anyway...A. spent a night in Vancouver with her old babysitter and friend Ashley....and is now NOT coming home as planned but is in POWELL RIVER...she flew up this afternoon and is planning to surprise her cousins and the kids when they show up for dinner...she is ragged, dirty and in need of a good scrub in a hot shower but is otherwise happy, feeling good and grateful to be back where everyone speaks her language. She will be in PR all week...and comes home FINALLY to see her poor, weary mother on Friday the 31st....and it sounds like she may be started her old job (gov't) again sooner than she thought so that is great news.

.....commence regular breathing now....

Canadian Soil

So excited for A. to be back on Canadian soil Thurs May 23...serious level of relief to be expected...sounds like she is ready to be back in her homeland among English speaking folk...says it is very difficult to be in places where you do not speak the language...especially when you really wanna tell someone your opinion and you can't ha ha ha

I had to rearrange my room again...It took all damn day but I think I can leave it like this now for a long while. I have a bit of a problem with rearranging furniture...but am very limited due to this shit apartments lack of electrical outlets and such...do not be surprised if you hear I died in an electrical fire some day. (That is foreshadowing right there people!)

Been very busy this week at work....I blame the Mexicans. The Mexican Consulate changed some rules for their document legalization process which means I am being bombarded by everyone in BC who needs documents authenticated for the consulate all at once...it is cutting into my chill time and relaxation at work quite a bit...but the days ZOOM by which is nice.

I have to say that since this move to the new bldg the interaction with lawyers on a supervisory level has been most interesting and frustrating. Things I have learned about lawyers since Dec 2012:

*sometimes they are slow talkers and you want to stab them during conversations
*they like to fuck shit up...shit that has been going along nicely for years (efficiently and practical) suddenly gets questioned by lawyers and they are trying to change it to a way it was done yearssssss ago that was not efficient or practical which is why it was streamlined to how it is today in the 1st place...
*while some are hoytee toytee some are so completely socially retarded it even makes me giggle b/c they make me look like a smooth mthrfckn female version of Frank Sinatra...I shit you not.

That's all I have got so far.

July is a busy month this year...(get ready to throw up Chris Bellman)....Nazareth/Headpins concert...Pat Benatar concert...Platinum Blonde concert. No not together....all separate shows within 1 week of each other. That is a buttload of 80's cheese and awesomeness.
I am hoping no more concerts happen b/c I am saving for Vegas with Aunty Pam in October. I have the Cirque du Soleil show picked out that I will get tickets for  (Mystere) and one other show that looks naughty and awesome...

MYSTERE and ABSINTHE

If all goes well then I think I will make plans to venture on a trip with Cathy b/c she has been talking about us taking a trip somewhere for a long time....maybe San Fran to see Alcatrazzzzzz!!! I would love that!

Had a very nice visit with Jim, Maggie, David and the boys last week...I got to hang out with Riley for the afternoon while Mags went shopping on her birthday...Sidney opted to shop with them so it was just Riley and I....he slept for a few hours but when he woke up he was happy and cute and gobbled up all the pumped milk Mags left...she got back in perfect time....he hadn't gone sour on me and cried which would have traumatized me HA!! We got to do some swimming at the Parkside which is frigging awesome and hoytee...great pool and hotel.

Today Kim and I are doing the obligatory gym visit (no idea if it is obligatory for her but it is for me) and then going to see a movie after...it is a long weekend of gloriousness - whatever Victoria Day is I have no idea...is it about an old queen? Seriously I should Google clearly...ok Queen Victoria's Birthday....okay well as much as I feel royalty is a farce I will take your day off with pay Ms Dead Queen of England and rejoice in it...your death and my day off with pay.

We are going to see MUD...it is getting fantastic reviews so....we are foregoing the well known Great Gatsby and Iron Man for a little unknown film. Doesn't look like a life-changer but it looks like good escapism...I hope I can forget Matthew McConaughey's role in Magic Mike though....could prove distracting.

I would add photos but as per usual Blogger isn't uploading pictures...POS.

 

Another week begins...

Monday...again which for me means it is my day at the Transition House. So far this volunteering gig has
been pretty low key and underwhelming - which is good...you don't want to WISH for a busier crisis line b/c that means ppl are in crisis. A no phone call day is a bit of a victory of sorts.

It is too effing hot out for me already the 1st week of May...the house felt like July/August yesterday...most unpleasant. Pretty sure it was hotter inside than outside though due to the lack of breeze.

Miss A. is on her way to Montanita, Ecuador today from Banos...with only 16 days left on her trip they want to get in some beach/surf time before they head back up to Quito to fly home May 22. I really loved video chatting her yesterday...it was good to see her tanned, healthy looking self and she always makes me laugh...she gave me a heads up she is dying to eat some meat so I will have to stock up!

Maggie and Family are coming this week - meaning Maggie will be here for her birthday (Saturday) which is pretty fun...I will be making a few cakes this week...one for Maggie and one for Lisa b/c her birthday is on Friday. Will be good to see Baby Riley again...he is getting big!

OMG so boring...it was too hot yesterday...fried all my brain cells.