Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Holy Stink Fest

A few random tidbits I must share:

1) I am listening to a song off the Xanadu soundtrack. Judge away.

2) I was just on the bus and a gibbly old man got on and the aroma wafting past me as he went by ALMOST truly made me throw up...like he peed his pants 20x, let it dry each time and also spilled beer all over himself...I was mere milliseconds from starting to wretch...so I am counting the stops considering if I should just hop off early...and the wind shifted and his stink must have gone to the back of the bus so I stayed put...then as we were getting closer to my stop he got up....and stood in front of where I sat, getting ready to get off at my stop. I fucking near died. As soon as the bus stopped and he stepped forward I bolted to the back door of the bus and ran for fresh air. Ran. Ran. I do not run...and I ran b/c I was worried I was going to throw up...and aside from having to smell intense old urine and beer on someone in close quarters - throwing up in public is my least favorite thing.

3) I am now listening to Come Undone by Duran Duran.

4) My dream last night: I moved into this swanky bldg and it was amazing...and the backyard area was all green and forest-y and at some point I look out the window and there are bears everywhere...and being scared shitless of bears this makes me freak out in the dream and I go around trying to find someone to talk to about it etc....and I look outside again and there are all these ppl, some celebrities, Brad Pitt for one, with these swords like Michonne on The Walking Dead cutting the heads off all the bears and I am like freaking out...b/c you know, they scare the bejesus outta me but I don't want them all decapitated ffs....so then I start ranting and screaming that these fuckers cant just get celebrities to do their dirty work and think ppl aren't gunna be pissed off about this cull...maybe we should cull the celebrities...on and on...the end.

5) My kid and Jessica are on a beach in Cambodia, trying to not hate the country since it has been a terrible leg of the adventure...anyhow...on the beach, relaxing and these kids come up and give them bracelets..........and then when they didn't want to buy the other ones they had they got all hostile and used scissors to cut the bracelets off them and called them liars and bitches, following them all over the beach like little assholes. I do not give a shit if you are poor....that is Assholery 101. They leave Cambodia tomorrow....and paid more to do so just to get the hell out of there.

6) I am listening to Adam Ant now, thinking of Adele -  my friend not the singer.

7) Swimming is awesome....though last night I learned my lesson about too long in the hot tub. JFC so many ppl in the hot tub, it was optimal for getting out without making an even bigger drenched spectacle of myself...so I was waiting for the right moment IE: when less ppl were in there and no one was blocking the stairs....well...too hot...much too hot...dying a slow death. If I was pregnant my baby would be a boiled pork chop right now...so hot...finally made a run for it and dashed for the
shower to get to the cold water and had to really talk myself out of falling down. Dead...boiled to death....terrible. Won't be repeating that mistake. Kim got me an Avengers paddle board today with THOR on it WOOOHOOO!!

8) Pat Benatar....we're running with the shadows of the night...so baby take my hand it'll be alright...bahahahhaa She is back in town this summer and I am so tempted b/c it is at the Royal....but I just spent 100 bones to see her last year so....not sure I can justify.

9) THE END.

2 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I can't do it, I can't hot tub. I always feel nauseous and not just at the thought of sitting in skin soup. Your pool sounds amazing though! For some reason, when the skin soup is cold, it doesn't bother me.

~Jen~ said...

Skin Soup - thanks for that hahahaha It is rather gross...I am willfully blind choosing to assume the chemicals kill the cooties...and as long as I do not get the water near my mouth and have really tight underwear on I will be ok.