Stay outta the damn hospital...

If I learned anything today it was when I am old do whatever it takes to stay out of the damn hospital. Uncle Jimmy's sister Carol died today after a very short hospital stay for something entirely different than the pneumonia she died from. I find it all perplexing and weird and very sad as she was not all that old...tomorrow I will go help them all finish cleaning out her apartment and get things sorted. Such a bizarre thing imagining someone going through and sorting through your stuff when you are dead. My shit is going to be extremely interesting to go through...Oh yes. Whoever is doing it, they will learn shit about me...and which I had less stuff I am sure. RIP Carol...xo

I have been making a concentrated effort to widdle down my possessions this year...it feels good...I look in awe at minimalist households...so clutter free...open...but I am always thinking "where do you keep the stuff you love?" Some ppl simply are not attached to 'stuff' though...which I find curious and interesting...and wish to explore...less is more quite often...

I am reading "The Glass Castle" by Jeannette Walls again...I read it yrs ago but recently read the follow up by the same author that she she wrote about her maternal grandmother and I loved it (Half Broke Horses)...so I wanted to reread GC while the other was so fresh in my mind. I am about half way done and clearly forgot how deplorable the authors childhood was b/c I am in awe of the conditions these kids survived and shocked only one ended up with severe mental health issues. I looked up some info online and read that the author has done very well for herself and had a cottage built for her mentally ill mother and supports her otherwise she would still be on the street...amazing level of acceptance and forgiveness that woman possesses to take her mother in after some of the heinous treatment her and her siblings received. Remarkable story...very good read.

Older & balder every tour. We have something in common.

I am right now listening to the new Matthew Good album 'Arrows of Desire' as it streams prior to its release on Tuesday.
..and holy hell..."Mutineers" is my favorite...cannot quite make out all the lyrics but I get the gist alright and am loving the harmonies and flow...I have a super favorite on every album and on this one it is definitely Mutineers...(aka Set Me On Fire from the Lights of Endangered Species album, While We Were Hunting Rabbits from the Avalanche album, Champions of Nothing from the Hospital Music album etc...on it goes...)

Blah blah blah...talking about MG and no one really cares but me...

Friday nights alright for blogging....

I did it...I just ore-ordered the new Matthew Good CD. I couldn't resist after I heard the new track "Guns of Carolina"...fml I like it a lot...glad too b/c the 1st single released I hated (I usually detest the songs he releases as singles)...




Nice...really like that track.

Ms A. is taking a few trips in December...1st one to go visit her grandparents in California...Grandpa hasn't been well so she is really wanting to go visit and see them both. He is already in his mid 80's so I think she needs to get in as many visits as she can. She will be in Powell River for Christmas this year as well...my 1st Christmas without  her...will be weird. Kim and I decided we are potentially going to book a room at a fancy Victoria hotel Xmas eve that has a sweet pool and hot tub and THAT is what we will do Xmas eve...go to my place Xmas day for a breakfast and pressies...sounds kind of nice. Ms A was going to be in on it too til she decided to  go to PR. She really prefers a crowd at Xmas I think, likes the Xmas morning ritual thing.

I think her growing up as an only child with a mother who is a loner has been a disappointment for her at times. There have been a few Xmas's with just the 2 of us where she could not hide the fact she it was a bit too quiet...a bit too solitary. I am sure this will all come out in therapy for her in about 10-20 years. haha I laugh but it is a nervous, uncomfortable laugh, not an amused one.

We all grow up feeling a bit hallow I think...the inevitable human response to realistic life...most of us did not have the attention we deserved...the love...the support...the pampering. It is just how the cookie crumbles...we are all just humans stewing in our own shit and sometimes it oozes out and gets on our kids...the older I get the more resolved I am about that...funny thing is as rational as a person can be about that stuff it doesn't make all the weird hang ups disappear. All the shitty coping mechanisms you develop before you get to that place of enlightenment have rooted and taken on a life of their own....so epiphany or not...you are still a wounded rabbit, shaking in the bushes under a shroud of empty enlightenment. That is when the real work begins it seems...combating yourself essentially to try and catch up. I think a lot of ppl go the grave stuck in their shit.

By friend, the fantastic Catherine Greenwood, has a new book coming out...after a very successful photo shoot in a graveyard to get shots for the book jacket she will be giving me a copy and I am looking forward to giving it a read. CLICK HERE ...and yes I was the one who gave her the pooping panda toy.