Saturday, September 07, 2013

Friday nights alright for blogging....

I did it...I just ore-ordered the new Matthew Good CD. I couldn't resist after I heard the new track "Guns of Carolina"...fml I like it a lot...glad too b/c the 1st single released I hated (I usually detest the songs he releases as singles)...




Nice...really like that track.

Ms A. is taking a few trips in December...1st one to go visit her grandparents in California...Grandpa hasn't been well so she is really wanting to go visit and see them both. He is already in his mid 80's so I think she needs to get in as many visits as she can. She will be in Powell River for Christmas this year as well...my 1st Christmas without  her...will be weird. Kim and I decided we are potentially going to book a room at a fancy Victoria hotel Xmas eve that has a sweet pool and hot tub and THAT is what we will do Xmas eve...go to my place Xmas day for a breakfast and pressies...sounds kind of nice. Ms A was going to be in on it too til she decided to  go to PR. She really prefers a crowd at Xmas I think, likes the Xmas morning ritual thing.

I think her growing up as an only child with a mother who is a loner has been a disappointment for her at times. There have been a few Xmas's with just the 2 of us where she could not hide the fact she it was a bit too quiet...a bit too solitary. I am sure this will all come out in therapy for her in about 10-20 years. haha I laugh but it is a nervous, uncomfortable laugh, not an amused one.

We all grow up feeling a bit hallow I think...the inevitable human response to realistic life...most of us did not have the attention we deserved...the love...the support...the pampering. It is just how the cookie crumbles...we are all just humans stewing in our own shit and sometimes it oozes out and gets on our kids...the older I get the more resolved I am about that...funny thing is as rational as a person can be about that stuff it doesn't make all the weird hang ups disappear. All the shitty coping mechanisms you develop before you get to that place of enlightenment have rooted and taken on a life of their own....so epiphany or not...you are still a wounded rabbit, shaking in the bushes under a shroud of empty enlightenment. That is when the real work begins it seems...combating yourself essentially to try and catch up. I think a lot of ppl go the grave stuck in their shit.

By friend, the fantastic Catherine Greenwood, has a new book coming out...after a very successful photo shoot in a graveyard to get shots for the book jacket she will be giving me a copy and I am looking forward to giving it a read. CLICK HERE ...and yes I was the one who gave her the pooping panda toy.

2 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

"you are still a wounded rabbit, shaking in the bushes under a shroud of empty enlightenment" - damn girl, you can be profound when you want to be. It's so true.

And that is a really great MG track! May have to do some pre-ordering of my own.

~Jen~ said...

Thank you Ms B. Nice of you to say...I do have some chops in between my "fucks" and "shits" here and there. :)

It is a great track and counter acts the other one which sucks so that's always good...that is how I am with his music....what I love I love like it was a child of my own and what I don't I dismiss very easily like a one night stand.