I miss you Freddy

Another weekend zipped by...Shawn was in town from Kelowna. He made me eat a bog bowl of quinoa which was actually not putrid with berries cinnamon and vanilla almond milk. Did some computer chatting and bought something off him that should apparently change my life and make my computer so fast it is ridonculous. Sweet.

Glad Halloween is nearly done...not really in love with my kids intense love for all things Halloween as it translates into one giant excuse to party 4 days in a row so I am pissed off at her and don’t feel like looking at her currently. There is gunna come a day when she ‘gets’ what it is like to give a fuck about something more than yourself and when she “gets” it I am gunna point and LAUGH SO HARD my oxygen mask is gunna come loose and I might almost die from lack of oxygen but I will still laugh at her and the suffering she will experience...I do understand there are varying degrees of this sort of thing...some ppl are chill and that shit doesn’t keep them up at night at all...while there are some of us who are constantly tormented and worry like a head case...I admit I am borderline psychotic about it but contrary to popular belief I reign that shit in pretty good b/c I know its irrational...though I still expect common courtesy and a heads up about her whereabouts and plan just so I know for peace of mind and safety reasons but OMG you would think I was the FBI the way she whines and snivels that I am stalking her...she has a skewed perspective of my intentions quite honestly. She has a fairly inflated sense of how interested I am in what she is doing...that I tend to prefer being ignorant about but to me knowing her plan and such is just common sense safety...how the fuck am I supposed to sleep if I think she might be in a ditch somewhere dying of hypothermia? Or was clipped by a car and tossed out of sight to die in the tall grass?! If I know her ETA or she checks in via a quick text msg then that seems like a decent solution...though truly it KILLS her to offer up any morsel of consideration or kindness twds me...how convenient that that she can just say I AM CRAZY and blow me off...little a-hole. Yeah parenthood...for all its trials and tribulations it is still better than not...I reminds myself of a few friends who lost their kids recently and all this shit seems unimportant in the larger scheme of things.

I have a few craft projects on the go....but I have decided to really DEFY the xmas disease this year...I usually have $ set aside well before now and have most of it done, bough and organized but this year...NOTHING. I do not have 1 dime or 1 item for the ingrate sprog even...nothing...I have a few token things for Maddie & Squid planned & that’s it...THE END. I MAY or MAY NOT even do xmas cards this year. Whatever small item Ayla gets (she was pre-warned due to her mexico trip) will be got from my Dec 23rd payday HAHAHAHAHA OHHH AWESOMMMMMMMMMMMEEE!!!

I am already thinking about my xmas tree too...gunna forego the twig this year I think...the cat is too douche-y about all those pretty dangly things. Problem is the wee tree I have is not big enough I don’t think for all my weird ornaments...I may need to upgrade...I am SO PISSED I did not snatch Kelly-Jean’s awesome xmas tree at the garage sale last spring.... ::stomps foot:: It was a plug in self-lighting one and it was GROOVY!

OK I think I am done bitching about things now...I was at a baby shower lunch Sunday only it wasn’t stupid with games and other retarded activity...at this shower was a baby named Freddy who I instantly glommed onto...he was just about 5 mths old (perfect, not floppy and smiles etc) and cuter than cute can be...oh sweet jesus I thought I might lactate right at the table...not.even.joking. He smelled so good...he was my afternoon bliss...it was a good few hours with friends and baby sniffing...Tara is due in about 6ish weeks with baby Isaac...she scored some great loot...

OMFG Donna dressed up like the Hamburglar today for Halloween and Erin is Kermit (News Reporter Kermit) @ work....cracks me up...didn’t see many costumes on the way to work sadly...1 PIKACHU, 1 SPONGEBOB and 1 WITCH....that’s IT! Boo!