Since I was a kid I have had a very heightened sense of modesty....I recall as a very small child being too uptight to walk past my grandfather and uncle wrapped in a towel after a bath. Age appropriate for sure – only I never out grew this hyper-modest bullshit...even as I got older I never changed in front of girlfriends that I recall...as a teen – same thing...quite uncomfortable with public nudity in any context. Oddly – I am rarely dressed when I am home alone...private nudity – LOVE IT....public...not so much. This makes my fun time at the Y even weirder. I guess I should be thankful for all the exhibitionists and carefree souls at the Y b/c if we all needed change rooms and bathroom stalls there would be line ups to get dressed and undressed and that would be annoying.
I am there at the same time most days so I am seeing many familiar faces...errr...and boobs/crotches. I have names for them 1) Fake Titty Fitness Model Lady 2) Auschwitz Japanese Lady 3) Gray Pube Lady 4) Mean Lesbian Lady 5) Svelte Magazine Reader Lady etc...I have seen more muff in the last month at this gym then I have in my whole 42 yrs combined...and not on purpose...I don’t go looking for this shit...I will walk around the corner and practically walk right into a Gray Pubed Muff – then I panic averting my eyes in any other direction...this is odd behaviour being a natural voyeur type...there is something about the confines of a change room...it’s like spying on ppl using the bathroom – it’s not ok...so it makes me highly edgy. One time I was checking out the shower stalls, specifically casing them out in case I ever decide to shower or use the pool and someone was showering and she looked at me as I was looking intensely into the shower area and I am pretty sure I looked like a weird pervert. I really wanted to say something after but the guaranteed awkwardness was just too much for me to handle.
Here is my latest thing...I have decided to go by the treadmills heart rate chart...I figured out my max heart rate is 183 for my age...80% of that is 144 so 144-148 is cardio level workout (more than that feels like a massive coronary - I was at 167 my 1st day and thought I was gunna effing die)....as opposed to 117 for fat burn...but 117 is fuck all so I like to go 144-148 the whole hour I am there sweating my fake balls off. So...here it is...as a giant person how can my workout at 144-148 heart rate be the same as someone who is 110 lbs? If that 110 lb person has a 200lb backpack on then I would say it would be an even work out...as far as exertion levels...I did my hour thing yesterday next to a person jogging...I was sweating as much as she was....so if that stupid machine says I only burned 300 and some calories (I am not a calorie counter at all and rarely have the machine tell me what the caloric burn is b/c I find it depressing as shit) but she burned 500 and something b/c she was running...HOW CAN THAT BE?? Giant fatty walking hard hauling so much weight has to count for extra burn right?!?!?!?! I should ask Shawn this stuff...he will set me straight...anyway...this is what I think about while I am trying to not wipe out on the treadmill, watching Judge Judy with sweat trickling down my ass crack. Awesome.
I still can’t bring myself to shower at the gym...I like long leisurely showers WITH A LOCKED DOOR between me and the general public...plus I am just too lazy to...it is a lot of work to be as anal retentive as I am and shower in a public place.