My Changing Room Adventures & Other Musings at the Y

For some people this is no big deal at all...the change room weirdness. Maybe everyone in there thinks it is a weird as I do - I have no idea....what I do know is some ppl are really comfortable with nudity...most importantly their own nudity in public.

Since I was a kid I have had a very heightened sense of modesty....I recall as a very small child being too uptight to walk past my grandfather and uncle wrapped in a towel after a bath. Age appropriate for sure – only I never out grew this hyper-modest bullshit...even as I got older I never changed in front of girlfriends that I recall...as a teen – same thing...quite uncomfortable with public nudity in any context. Oddly – I am rarely dressed when I am home alone...private nudity – LOVE IT....public...not so much. This makes my fun time at the Y even weirder. I guess I should be thankful for all the exhibitionists and carefree souls at the Y b/c if we all needed change rooms and bathroom stalls there would be line ups to get dressed and undressed and that would be annoying.

I am there at the same time most days so I am seeing many familiar faces...errr...and boobs/crotches. I have names for them 1) Fake Titty Fitness Model Lady 2) Auschwitz Japanese Lady 3) Gray Pube Lady 4) Mean Lesbian Lady 5) Svelte Magazine Reader Lady etc...I have seen more muff in the last month at this gym then I have in my whole 42 yrs combined...and not on purpose...I don’t go looking for this shit...I will walk around the corner and practically walk right into a Gray Pubed Muff – then I panic averting my eyes in any other direction...this is odd behaviour being a natural voyeur type...there is something about the confines of a change room...it’s like spying on ppl using the bathroom – it’s not ok...so it makes me highly edgy. One time I was checking out the shower stalls, specifically casing them out in case I ever decide to shower or use the pool and someone was showering and she looked at me as I was looking intensely into the shower area and I am pretty sure I looked like a weird pervert. I really wanted to say something after but the guaranteed awkwardness was just too much for me to handle.

Here is my latest thing...I have decided to go by the treadmills heart rate chart...I figured out my max heart rate is 183 for my age...80% of that is 144 so 144-148 is cardio level workout (more than that feels like a massive coronary - I was at 167 my 1st day and thought I was gunna effing die)....as opposed to 117 for fat burn...but 117 is fuck all so I like to go 144-148 the whole hour I am there sweating my fake balls off. So...here it is...as a giant person how can my workout at 144-148 heart rate be the same as someone who is 110 lbs? If that 110 lb person has a 200lb backpack on then I would say it would be an even work out...as far as exertion levels...I did my hour thing yesterday next to a person jogging...I was sweating as much as she was....so if that stupid machine says I only burned 300 and some calories (I am not a calorie counter at all and rarely have the machine tell me what the caloric burn is b/c I find it depressing as shit) but she burned 500 and something b/c she was running...HOW CAN THAT BE?? Giant fatty walking hard hauling so much weight has to count for extra burn right?!?!?!?! I should ask Shawn this stuff...he will set me straight...anyway...this is what I think about while I am trying to not wipe out on the treadmill, watching Judge Judy with sweat trickling down my ass crack. Awesome.

I still can’t bring myself to shower at the gym...I like long leisurely showers WITH A LOCKED DOOR between me and the general public...plus I am just too lazy to...it is a lot of work to be as anal retentive as I am and shower in a public place.

Smattering of Blatheriness

Today is Deanna's service in Powell River...let the collective sigh of defeat and grief begin. I am extremely impressed that her niece Kori is doing the main eulogy...Kori will do her some justice for certain. If I was less of an emotional cripple I would have gone back myself...no excuses...I just cannot bare such raw emotion in public...feeling it or seeing others experiencing it...

Yesterday was spent rearranging a few rooms around which ate the whole effing day to today I choose to putter, cook and then go to the gym after dinner when it will be dead...maybe I will try a treadmill with a TV...might even try the steam room...though I am sure I wouldn't last long.

The Y change room experience is always a total trip...I have always been pretty modest so it amazes me that ppl use the change room like their own person washrooms. I feel like such an alien in there...there is boob and muff EVERYWHERE and I try to go about my business but fml if I am not constantly distracted by all the blatant nudity.

Fake Boob/Fitness Model Lady especially...I am in awe of those strange gravity defiant boobs of hers...it is like they are being suspended by marionette strings...a mind of their own...UNTIL SHE BENDS OVER....when she leans over and the fake boob falls fwd it creates this bizarre pucker...like gathered curtains underneath. No one should see that...it looks too freaky.

I think I have a bit of a flow there now though....I have to sit in the lounge area in front of a fan for 15 mins after I am done to cool off so my brain can actually form thoughts again...I have never sweat so much in my life...it is so gross...I actually thought someone was spraying me with water the other day but it was just my own sweat gushing into my shoe. So gross...there will be no getting away with wearing a gym shirt more than once.

Miss A. was not extended at work....most ppl would be sad about this...but not her...she was smiling and already booked herself a ticket to Ecuador/Peru for 2 mths. She leaves Mar 23....returning May 22. Her 2 friends are already there and shes been moping and blah since they left last month so...shes suddenly skipping around, happy as can be. Today she is going to MEC to buy the perfect backpack and waterproof hiking shoes since she will be living out of a backpack for 2 months.

Why do I sound so calm you ask...? Well I am not...I am sickened at the thought of all that can go wrong when I am not in the vicinity to fix it...BUT....I also realize she is 19 and is going to do what she wants so all I can do is help her be as prepared as possible and try to shut my brain off. Ultimately I am happy she is going b/c it will be a life altering experience...one I want her to have...I WANT this for her..I always have wanted her to do the things like this...from the time she was a baby....I wanted her to get the travel bug...b/c I know if you do not do that stuff while you are young (due to finances, responsibilities, neurosis etc) you may never get to so do it while the getting is good. Really shitty things happen to ppl at home or abroad so...I have to remind myself that she is smart and I have brainwashed her thoroughly to trust no one...