Drop your weapons....

Sometimes in life, especially as you get older, you find yourself in these weird scenarios that you could not have imagined yourself in. This happened to me last year, grand accusations made (completely off base) to a 5th party....took many months for ppl to open their mouths enough for it to get back to me, at which time I was fucking mortified...not just b/c it was no ones business and private but b/c such a demonizing spin was put on it, painting me to be something I truly am not. I am many things, which I will laughingly admit to freely even if it does paint me in a shitty light but I am not owning shit that is not mine.

Many months later and after some very complicated events and drama that exceeds the Young & Restless soap opera...I have been struck with some clarity. I do not often put humans on pedestals b/c I have a pretty good understanding that ppl are just human, falter and waiver and depending on the situation - shit the bed in epic fashion. I lost a very good friend in all of this bullshit and I have lamented that loss all this time but finally I think I am just done feeling terrible about it. Gawd knows I have been an ass and ended friendships with little explanation - it is easier than hurting someones feelings telling them there is something about them you just don't like...perhaps this is karma...this unresolved friendship, dangling in the wind like a dried up corpse...it makes you question your instincts, your taste, your gullibility...it makes you question your own self worth for a moment - until you shake your head and remind yourself this is just another one of those cock-sucking speed bumps life plants in front of your driveway...just for kicks.

People disappoint you...and you disappoint ppl too. It is the way in life...the unresolved, unspoken and highly valued friendships that are laid to waste by bullshit and lies are just casualties of assholes with problems. You take inventory of your part in it, learn a few lessons and be done with it. It is really that simple. Gotta QTIP that shit...Quit Taking It Personally. QTIP the ever-loving fuck out of it and move forward...

Real friendships are usually so simple at this age...the real ones...unspoken loyalty and love binding friends together now that in our 40s we can talk about things and not be so caught up in our own crap or assuming the worst about someone. I revel in the strength of my long term friendships...and the relationships built within my family...amazing grateful for what I have and the ppl in my life...makes the losses a little easier to bare.

Wide awake at 4 am....

Why not? 2 hours ahead of a proper work wake up time...what could go wrong...?

Kim - TC10K 1 hour 8 mins

Just had Pam & Jim here for the weekend, always fun. Pam never stops singing or delighting us with her enormous amount of gas. It really is phenomenal. I have no idea how 1 person produces so much excess gas...I almost feel like she has a defective valve that the rest of us have. Though she at least is all hot air while Jim drops bombs that you taste for an hour afterwards so...take your pick. haha

Kim ran the Times Colonist 10K Marathon this weekend and kicked its butt pretty awesomely...1 hour and 8 mins....pretty good! She is rather proud of herself and is not too crippled either...great prep for her 40K marathon in a few months from Tofino to Ucluelet. Scary business, that one!

Miss A and Jaime, Mui Ne, Vietnam

Miss A is enjoying Vietnam much more than her travels though Cambodia so that is good...they went to this fantastic water resort the other day: VINPEARL 27.00 for the day included EVERYTHING. Fun!

Connie is waiting to hear if she got a job in Campbell River so her and her family can pick up and leave Red Deer and move to the island...crossing my fingers!! Would love having them closer even if it is shitty CR and 4 hours away by car...beats the shit out of Red Deer, a million and 3 miles away.

I am teetering on the edge of insanity at the moment, hormones are a delicate matter...I have a full on rant that I have been wanting to spew forth for some time but just cannot muster up the effort and in all honesty....some things are just not worth the energy it takes to spew them forth. It is disheartening that even into your 40's people can be such disappointing creatures...just when you think you finally have a circle of the right people the ol' monkey wrench gets tossed into the mix and you are left reeling over the complete and utter degree of asshole dysfunction some ppl practice in life. On the upside...these moments remind you who you can count on in life and the importance of nurturing familial and friend relations. I am pretty fortunate.

Hearing Ryan McMahon's "I'll Be Damned" song on Californication S07E03 was AWESOME. Seriously amazing use of that song....I sure hope it gets him some extra exposure he deserves.
Listen here: I'll Be Damned

Happy Chocolate Egg Weekend

Easter Schmeaster....this is all about chocolate. Do not be fooled by religious zealots trying to convince you otherwise, zombie Jesus and all those shenanigans...oh and it is all about cute kids getting cute bunnies...I was really hoping Sidney would name his Alfalfa since Madelyn named hers Clover but he decided to call his girl bunny Jimmy instead hahaha

So frigging cute.

Miss A is is Vietnam, Ho Chi Minh City to be exact. iPod was stolen in Phuket, Thailand so I am pretty sure she is dying without music. I know I would be crushed and shaking over traveling without music...and seeing as she feels the same way about music as I do I think she will be getting one shortly. I recommended ditching the iPod BS and getting a tablet of some sort. Hoping she follows through since I will be paying for it until the insurance $ comes through (though there is a pretty good chance that will possibly go sideways - whatever) - girl needs music and wifi. Cannot wait for them to get to Australia..seriously...sick of this sketchy bullshit. It has been almost 3 mths...I will foolishly feel better once she is somewhere 1st world.

Shawn is around this weekend...I will be forced to wear pants but that is ok...I will live. Hoping for a dinner/game night Monday night before he leaves Tuesday.

For now....I must go putter.

Holy Stink Fest

A few random tidbits I must share:

1) I am listening to a song off the Xanadu soundtrack. Judge away.

2) I was just on the bus and a gibbly old man got on and the aroma wafting past me as he went by ALMOST truly made me throw up...like he peed his pants 20x, let it dry each time and also spilled beer all over himself...I was mere milliseconds from starting to wretch...so I am counting the stops considering if I should just hop off early...and the wind shifted and his stink must have gone to the back of the bus so I stayed put...then as we were getting closer to my stop he got up....and stood in front of where I sat, getting ready to get off at my stop. I fucking near died. As soon as the bus stopped and he stepped forward I bolted to the back door of the bus and ran for fresh air. Ran. Ran. I do not run...and I ran b/c I was worried I was going to throw up...and aside from having to smell intense old urine and beer on someone in close quarters - throwing up in public is my least favorite thing.

3) I am now listening to Come Undone by Duran Duran.

4) My dream last night: I moved into this swanky bldg and it was amazing...and the backyard area was all green and forest-y and at some point I look out the window and there are bears everywhere...and being scared shitless of bears this makes me freak out in the dream and I go around trying to find someone to talk to about it etc....and I look outside again and there are all these ppl, some celebrities, Brad Pitt for one, with these swords like Michonne on The Walking Dead cutting the heads off all the bears and I am like freaking out...b/c you know, they scare the bejesus outta me but I don't want them all decapitated ffs....so then I start ranting and screaming that these fuckers cant just get celebrities to do their dirty work and think ppl aren't gunna be pissed off about this cull...maybe we should cull the celebrities...on and on...the end.

5) My kid and Jessica are on a beach in Cambodia, trying to not hate the country since it has been a terrible leg of the adventure...anyhow...on the beach, relaxing and these kids come up and give them bracelets..........and then when they didn't want to buy the other ones they had they got all hostile and used scissors to cut the bracelets off them and called them liars and bitches, following them all over the beach like little assholes. I do not give a shit if you are poor....that is Assholery 101. They leave Cambodia tomorrow....and paid more to do so just to get the hell out of there.

6) I am listening to Adam Ant now, thinking of Adele -  my friend not the singer.

7) Swimming is awesome....though last night I learned my lesson about too long in the hot tub. JFC so many ppl in the hot tub, it was optimal for getting out without making an even bigger drenched spectacle of myself...so I was waiting for the right moment IE: when less ppl were in there and no one was blocking the stairs....well...too hot...much too hot...dying a slow death. If I was pregnant my baby would be a boiled pork chop right now...so hot...finally made a run for it and dashed for the

shower to get to the cold water and had to really talk myself out of falling down. Dead...boiled to death....terrible. Won't be repeating that mistake. Kim got me an Avengers paddle board today with THOR on it WOOOHOOO!!

8) Pat Benatar....we're running with the shadows of the night...so baby take my hand it'll be alright...bahahahhaa She is back in town this summer and I am so tempted b/c it is at the Royal....but I just spent 100 bones to see her last year so....not sure I can justify.

9) THE END.

Whew...

Well, thank gawd that is done. Even not moving my own stuff that was exhausting...still recovering and I think I am getting sick again ffs...anyway...

The movers were ridiculous. Pretty slow...it took up ALL the mover budget. Essentially the 3 man crew hired for a 3 man crew job was a 2 man crew b/c the 3rd guy was new (1st day), new to Canada (couldn't read the boxes to know what room they went in) and slower than a sloth on heroin. It was tough to watch. 7 hours later...it was done.

Naturally, I shared my opinion of this with the owner - stating clearly that training new staff should not be done at the expense of the client...training is having new staff shadow senior staff so they know what they are doing and what the expectations are - not dropping them off and calling the newb the 3rd man.

I got some 3 day later random text back from the owner saying I could have 15% off my next move. HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Uhhh no thanks. The sad part is Kim's move was great with this company, as was Erin's...I lost the lottery.

Some of my stuff was broken too...treasure kind of stuff, with no real monetary value, all sentimental...I just opted to let it go b/c it was eating away at my happiness. Put it in the fuck it bucket and chuck it.

The new pad is really large for an apartment...this den area for the computer etc is the cat's meow. 1st time my PC hasn't been in the living room!! The living room is so big I could have a dance party, for real. Got the curtain rod and curtains up in the LR yesterday, looks great...mostly all unpacked and now just trying to find spots for everything, making everything all fit right. Nice to have a spacious place for once.

The pool/hot tub etc is friggin great. Seriously. Made time a few times this week to go enjoy it and it was awesome...the pool esp is really big and a great temperature.

My fridge was hooped when I 1st got here and within 24 hours they replaced it. (UNHEARD OF!)...enjoying this place a lot....also that the insulation between suites is really good...can't hear TVs or people talking above or below me...I can hear walking once in a while but not much...I think a kid lives above me but it is hard to say...I am guessing at that b/c when I can hear it reminds me a kid tromping around but it is still 1000x better than my last place...amazing perk.

Aside from all that I am feeling pretty crappy...really over did it I think and have been paying the price all week...I actually fall asleep sitting up...and I sleep fairly well here despite a bit of street noise (quiets nicely in the evenings though)...getting screens for the patio door and 3 windows next week sometime...looking fwd to that so I can open the place up without the cat making a run for it.

Cat was pretty freaked out on move day....shes settled now though and is back to being a total a-hole like usual. It is driving her NUTS that she cannot get into the closets here...MUAHAHAHAHA~ she is pissed... she also spends her life trying to get into A's room but I am keeping it off limits so ppl with allergies staying here have less cat dander to deal with in there...she hears that door handle and comes flying out from wherever she is to try and weasel in that room. So funny.

I am in love with my new curtains....that sounds weird I know but it is true...I couldn't find matching dark ones so I got these patterned ones that I thought would match the dark ones and it worked quite well...I should probably offer up photos but I am not that organized or done enough yet...!

The bldg I look at from my balcony is full of weirdos. That should make for great stories as time goes on.