Yo

since blogger is broken and wont lemme post pictures in the last post (fuckers) go here...

http://media1.break.com/dnet/media/content/howardclock.wmv

thank the Bruce Man for that one...makes me wanna open my own clock store. lol

time to stock up on beer....

having recovered from the hair/bird shit incident ive become quite AWARE of walking under trees or electrical wires....b4 it was the little green inch worms I would dodge as they hung from their silk little tethers as I walked to work...now im dodging bugs, worms and bird shyte. Its like being in the army i bet. ha!

so the other night i was having trouble falling asleep...and i finally get to sleep only to be awoken by my own fucking alarm clock a half hour later bc im too dumb to make the new one work right...so i drift back off to sleep after unplugging the new clock....then....i get woken up by noises in the parking lot....i look out and there are 2 guys rigging up the garbage cans so they can pilpher through all the junk looking for treasures....im not generally opposed to ppl picking through garbage, whatever floats yer boat baby...but its 1230-1am...and yer keeping me awake...so i yell out the window 4 them to fuck the hell off...they ignore me...
so i get my camera and start taking pictures of them hoping they are wanted criminals and this will make them run 4 it...no.They started to pose for me and laughed.... none of the pics worked through my window, sorry.
One guy was really twitchy and scary so there was no way i was going out on my balcony just in case he had mega jumping powers and hopped up to kill me.I observed them for a while...it was most interesting...they have a total system...our dumpsters are locked everynight but they still get in....they bend the plastic lids in such a way that they prop them up and then use a lighter to see in and stick themselves in reaching for crap...me being a germ-phobic freak finds this absolutely gross cuz i can only imagine the stink and the grossness...
one dude was super twitcher freaky friday guy, flailing about and being very odd...I am sure he was whacked on something.

Today is the 30th...month end at work & my kid is leaving today and omfg call me a crap mom but shes so irritating I wanna toss her off the balcony...she ended the year with straight A's but she still annoys me. haha I am sure I will miss her in a week or so but for right now Id just like to duct tape her mouth shut.

it is now grown up sleep over season...how damn cool is that? It is the summer of the hussy and i am stepping up to the plate.

Happy Birthday...

Matthew Good -

when I am 35 I hope I have as much going for me...wait...I am turning 36 this year.

Shit.

it's a turd...it's a plane...no it's a....

no wait it is a turd.

a bird shit on me today.
bird shit in long hair = a mess...hahaha least i was close to home and ran home to hop in the shower....

MICHELLE AND GOB...the box arrived! WOOOHOOOOOOO and in tact...didnt look like it was torn up by the border pigs...thank u thank u thank u...my whole house smells of lovely nag champa....ill email u shortly.

no one swore at me today but i did have a few weirdos...the ones very drug dependent who twitch and dart around like someones chasing them but no ones there...i shouldnt make fun but....gawd...i cant help myself.

today at work a co worker was telling us how her husband, when he gets outta the shower grabs his balls and pulls on them, stretching them freakishly and asks if she wants a piece of bubble gum.
I dunno if i can chew gum again now...balls n bubble gum....*shiver*

whatever happened to Aldo Nova?

Aldo Nova (born Aldo Caporuscio 13 November 1956) is a Canadian guitarist, keyboardist, vocalist and producer from Montreal, Quebec. He released an album Aldo Nova in 1982 which had a two hit singles with "Fantasy" and "Foolin' Yourself". He worked with Jon Bon Jovi in the late 1980s and produced some early Céline Dion albums. He helped write and produce parts of Chantal Condor's 1989 album Chantal. He is now a songwriter, living in Monaco.

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well he has kept busy....aging nicely...id let him butter my bread hahahahahahhahahahaahahahahahhahahahhahahahaha

anyhoo...

i was listening to Aldo Nova earlier thats what sparked my curiousity...now im listening to Pink Floyd's The Wall b/c Andy was telling me the other day that he was walking down the street in London and saw a very large floating pig in the sky...which of course turned out 2b the filming of THE WALL... as soon as he said floating giant pig I nearlysprung a boner hahaha

I have to get up stupidly early tomorrow...its cool and lovely in here...

Now I have Robert Plant on...he is a timeless motherfucker...I was not fond of that Honeydrippers stage when they were out but I can stand it now...lol

My poor sister had an SUPER BIKE WIPE OUT today...nice to hear the FALLING DOWN thing isnt all just me...she gibbled her hand, buggered up her face...riding along and looked down at her leg cuz she thought she had a bug on her and WHAM!!!!!!! right into the back of a camper...hahahahahahah fuck.

Michelle: its weirdly un-canadian to have air conditioning in your home...or am i just on glue? Ive never known a canadian who has had AC in their house...just at work...

Opinions ppl?? Do I live a sheltered life? Do u know canadians with AC?

Surrender of the Bladder

You know when you have to pee REAL bad...and the closer you get to home the WORSE it gets...as you unlock the door....drop all your bags...run for the bathroom whilst trying to rip your pants down b4 you piss yourself....
how does the bladder KNOW to give up??? Cuz i KNOW if I want near home i wouldnt be pissing myself on the bus....damn life mystery.

got Ayla her little grad pressie for passing into Grade 7...she is fun to shop 4 when she isnt there to hate everything ahhahahaa
Naturally I save the receipts and she can exchange what she truly detests.

I got up and just spontaneously decided to get out and about b4 it got scalding out...by 10 am it was already too fucking hot to live so that backfired....then i forgot my glasses so I was fucking blond (EDIT: I meant BLIND but blonde works too lol) all day...i have no depth perception w/o my glasses on so i look like a frikkin gibble walking around, unable to maneuver (i know that is spelled so wrong) curbs and steps.
I bought sunglasses thinking that would appease my eyes...didnt work but they held my sweaty hair back well.

decapitation

ooooo the lovely coolness of evening!
another hot ass day...thank gawd for AC at work or ppl would die!

got a new fan today...that makes 4 in this house....LOVE IT....

I heard Beckham barfed on the field on the news....geez RIVETING NEWSFLASH....wtf! haha
He married a spice twat...do we really give a shyte if hes barfing? id barf too if i was married to a spice twat!

little sprog grrl was at the waterslides today and got too much sun...no one listens to me...i told her the 1st day of sun in the summer is different then a day midsummer...poor wee thing, looks all wilted and blah....
I have tomorrow off...laundry day...weeeeeee i know how to get down n boogie man!

barb - i didnt mean to steal yer green color...i was just in a green mood....
kellee - where the hell are uuuuuu?
kelly the fire guy - get a blog already! (u are a blog slut)
michelle - no parcel yet....im sorry...

@ least there is air conditioning at work :o)

ever tried to sew bathing-suit material with a regular sewing machine...? I do not recommend it...apparently the degree in which the butt of yer swim-suit stretches/poofs out is a life treatening event...hence the swimsuit alterations at 9 pm...
holy shit im positive at 12 id have worn a frikkin potato sack to a water-slide school event...although i do recall having SERIOUS issues with winter clothing...we lived in rainbow lake, alberta (northern northness of alberta) and it was fucking cold but i detested long johns...and leotards...and snow pants...and toques....hahaha
ive never liked layers.

DING DONG the witch is gone....she was especially miserable this morning...ranting about her ugliness, being too fat and ugly to lv the house etc...i just roll my eyes. I just cant buy into the charade...it sickens me.

I couldnt fall asleep 4 shit last night...too deep of a power nap in the hot afternoon i guess...

QUESTION OF THE DAY:
what's your most embarrassing family story/moment...? and plz elaborate.

hotter than a whores twat today...

this was me today as I walked outside in the blazing heat....
<---------
just started on frikkin fire, just like that.

im gunna try really hard to not whine myself into a coma this summer....4 all your sakes as well.

i need a sprinkler on my balcony, think ill be allowed?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NIC!

she was 22 today but yesterday in Ireland, whatever now im confused!
HAPPY 22nd HOTTIE REDHEAD IRISH BABE!

social retard = jen

u know sometimes u avoid ppl so much you forget how truly socially inept u are....
like last night mz im so casual and laid back jen sat for the 1st hour having a drink and wouldnt put her coat down or take her bag off....like...i may as well have had I TRUST NO ONE AND AM READY TO BOLT written in jiffy on my forehead. hahahaha it makes me laugh...its no fucking wonder i prefer being by myself hahhaa

anyhow...it was a nice evening...it was FAR FAR FAR too hot to live though I will say that SUCKED...in fact today is the same and i am miserable...haha

i wish i wasnt so suspicious about ppl, it tends to make a mess of even the most pleasant things...

the girls had a blast at the dance thingy...it was funny to see them looking all tarted up and acting oh so cool...they didnt pull an all nighter in the livingroom thank gawd...so theyre up and at the mall...and leaving me in peace. :o) I did want to go out today to get groceries etc but gawd dammit its sunny out hahhaahaaaaaaa

oh crap kids are back...arggg

oh yeah

well that was a fun night of making out and chattering....i will actually see him again I think :o)

snap snap snap

monkey has a spot now...he looks right at home...

I think the world should run only in sepia....cuz i like my skin in sepia!

my little love nest bedroom MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

don't forget my toy shelf!!!

someone should come over and play scrabble with me dammit...

you are all so jealous of my frog toilet....
grumpy looking wench
brats

I THINK I HAD AN ANYERISM

i know i spelled it wrong but who cares
ok so i got tool tix....1st i got floor tix row 32...then i was like *well crap we cant drink on the floor....*....so i go back and see whats left in the seats....section 117 row 16...so i get those too. Cuz im rich u know. lol
I figure i can sell the ones we choose not to have.

I think the whole experience took 10 yrs off my life.

Brobdingnagian Arse

Word of the Day:

Brobdingnagian \brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn\, adjective:Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.

its 7 am....i have 3 hrs til tool tix go on sale and im up and already shitting my pants hahahahhaa

im feeling slightly weird about going to see mr englishman tonight...ill be really pissed off if he turns into a horny fucking octopus right off the bat...
and im not even kidding....ill be really disappointed.
on a different day i wouldnt be...but right now i would be.

Gee, do u think im moody much?

Supposed to be hot out today....grrrrrr

Useless question of the day 4 u....if u are a victim like me and yer kid forces u to watch canadas next top fuckwad...errr i mean model....if that brandi chick a friend of jennifer goods? she seems very familiar to me and i cant imagine where else i would be exposed to someone so arrogant and stupid....and....wtf...not that i mind but she seems to have vanished off the face of the earth...
no trace of her even on mblog...not even an honorable mention...wonder whats up?
There is my nosiness 4 the day...

I just realized im really fucking broke. Disheartening. I thought I was rich 4 a while there....gotta love 3 paychq months...i wish i got paid 3x every month *pout*...id be doing much better.

we went and saw THE BREAK UP last night....Even Vince V didnt make that a keeper....Jennifer Aniston is so fucking boring really...thats why Brad left her I bet....cuz she was boring and not all that talented...(ahhaha)
Ayla was bored outta her mind...falling asleep in her seat, begging for a quick death...

groupie ho

I look like alice cooper (of the 70s) this morning....the runny eyeliner....the freaky corpse like appearance.
I guess I do need some sun...and some decent non runny fucking eyeliner.

Ayla left today cursing her wardrobe, saying all her clothes are butt ugly and she has nothing to wear. I am sure that will not be the last time she utters those words b4 i kick her out in 6 yrs hahaha

I drempt the ultimate wanna be groupie dream last night...motley crue were playing at my grandparents old trailer in the livingroom (i have no idea why my brain operates this way)....
a zillion ppl were there...i got to hump and make out with tommy lee and nikki sixx (in the dream they were nice though)...and we were drinking bourbon (ive never had bourbon and im curious to try it now to see if it tastes like it did in my dream, im sure its disgusting and i will hurl in real life) and then someone smashed the toilet so it was in pieces...and the bathtub was broken and I kept thinking my grandad was gunna kick my ass....so then i started gluing the toilet back together....
after the concert the band was off to play in victoria with the scorpions (i was looking through my old concert stubs yesterday so i think thats where that came from haha) and wanted me to come with them (hahaha) but i couldnt so they begged me to plz call them and meet up with them after....it was quite amusing.

bourbon...ugh

anyhoo....im off to work....and im not horrified bc i get the weekend off when im done ....*insert freakish psycho laughter here*

thank gawd thats over

well the landlady didnt skin me alive although the looks and the tsk-tsk's were enough to make me wanna light myself on fire...
she was unhappy with my shelves and my use of screws hahahahahhahah hahahahah hahhahahaha I just played dumb and acted like I didnt think it was a big deal.
I will start studying patch techniques now...

I think I will go outdoors now...theres a nice wind.

LET IT BE KNOWN....

I AM LOOKING FOR A GNOME!!!!

for my balcony...to guard the perifieral...

if u are garage saling and see something BUY IT and MAIL it, ill pay ya back!
(unless its 348975637563.00 for shipping etc)


I have no idea why I want them/one but I do.

sunsets, breeze and rent money

3 good things....
I really needed this day off...in a bad way....
Im making a roast...
im cleaning...and im damn driven to get my room looking proper...there is already shit all over the damn place...im a terrible bedroom cleaner

I think ill return things to sears today as well and get a few groceries so Ayla can eat something more than bread. lol
I was all excited watching a stupid medical show last night thinking I discovered I have cushings disorder which is why im actually fat, not due to food/exercise or what have you....but i think its a bit of a stretch.
Either way im getting my cortisol checked out next time i go to the Dr.

Im getting very stressed out about TOOL tickets...I havent managed to win any yet this week off the radio and gawd dammit ordering online freaks me green so I already pre registered my card so I dont have to lose my mind trying to type the #s in at the last moment thinking ill lose the tickets etc hahahaha Doof! I love it that u can use yer Sears Card for Ticketmaster HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKERSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Anyone know who is touring with Tool by chance?

OMFG the price is right is on, I gotta go!

a chatty bloke

ok he isnt scottish ~ hes british...wtf do i know...u would think someone like me who gets such a hard on over men with accents would be better at distinguishing between them...
anyhow...he's a sassy one, i think he will be fun....could make for a uber fun summer.
when i asked him if hed ever been arrested for offenses against goats he had a witty comeback so...thats a good sign.

ayla's new cell phone arrived today...youd think she just won the lotto, it is snazzy...im a bit jealous. haha
im glad she paid for it all on her own...all 113.00 of it....

today was one of those grueling days...the ones u think u may die if it doesnt end...i have tomorrow off thank the goddess...then work friday and have the weekend off...gawd help me...i am really looking fwd to it...
Ayla and her Posse (sp haha im such a nerd) are going to a Much Music Video Dance Party this Saturday...
I have no plans except to tiddle my room up and DO NOTHING but NOTHING! woot woot!

There was another murder in the neighborhood....oddly enough it was in a bldg we looked at while trying to find a place...wouldnt that just be fucked up...moving from one murder scene to another....ugh

1st day of summer. bah!

the landlady is coming to TOUR the apt tomorrow....i bet ill get shit 4 the shelves i put up hhahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaa

holymutherfuckinshit

TOOL!!!!!

TOOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is coming to Vancouver and come hell or high water me and the Bruce Man are goingggggggggg!!! OMG the radio announcement induced serious boner-age today.....

Ohhhh Maynard......im coming for ya baby!

dumbfuck

jesussssssssssssssssss

i guess i accidently set my alarm clock an hour ahead...so yeah i got up at 445 am and got ready 4 work only to realize at 513 am that it was not 613 am. ugh

i went back to bed.

now i have bedhead. ha!

im loving the windy gray weather these days...probably the only one in the city/province that does but whatev!

fuck now im really tired.

tree sap

my phlegm is not the consistency of tree sap...stubbornly creeping up from the nether-regions of my lungs...the very pit of them...cough cough

anyhoo...the CROW artist....
Michael Sowa <---click that...I like his art...i like standing in stores and just staring at it...b/c I always notice new little things. I like the piggy diving one too.

well this little art thing has been interesting, seeing everyones preferences...my taste is all over the map...I either love it or I dont...Gustav Klimt as an example...some of his i LOVE and the rest I dont....I love most of John Waterhouse's stuff though...its a mood thing as well.

so a boy called me today...yes...a bit of an older chap (in his 40s)...complete with an accent (u know how those accents go over with me....hehehe)...im not sure i like him yet though...ive not had any indepth conversations with him but hes been interested for a while so i guess ill see what hes all about...see how bad the damage is hahaha gawd knows i need to keep busy this summer with the sprog gone...

I was puttering around my house today after work, Ayla was a friends doing home work...the wind was blowing in...I had tunes on...I LOVE MY NEW HOUSEEEEEEEEEEEEE I put up some shelves...moved the fish, dug out some old treasures ive had packed away for years...blah blah blah.....

I have to be up early tomorrow...so good night freaks.

More....

Opinions ready please

OK I have a job 4 u all....I am looking for a focus piece for my livingroom...these are possibilities (the baby one is kind of a joke but not really cuz i am drawn to it haha)
ITS ART CRITIQUE TIME.....I am finding it interesting the art that I seem to be drawn to want to look at on a daily basis....its kinda weird to analyze...anyway...color seems to be a necessary for me....so plz critique...I will add more as i come across some...I am quite sure these are not UP YOUR ALLEY at all but thats ok cuz art isnt about that...RIGHT? lol

this is in Kelly the Fire guy's house......tell us the story of this painting again please Kelly.....