if only there was a god

so that i could choose a saint to pray to today....

Saint Trots.


HAHAHAHAHA

fuck its gunna be along day

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

http://www.canada.com/ottawacitizen/news/story.html?id=7886faf4-e8e9-4217-ac1d-66563d16ec9f

pass the rope

I actually am sick....its not mental or hormonal or a figment of my sour mood...I woke up this morning with that beyond a doubt knowledge when i burped up egg and i haven't had eggs in days.

Thats been my body's signal since as far back as i can recall...even as a small child...if I burp up EGG...the internal gastrointestinal chi is DISTURBED somehow...I refuse to not go to work of course bc then I will miss a day of training and im so desperate to be useful there i will just trudge on...im taking a gawd damn cab home though...

I got my final pay from MM in my acct today which was odd cuz i thought it would be on the next scheduled payday but....anyway...i got raped 4 taxes...cant wait to look at my pay stub and throw up in my bra over that....
i have one week = 40 HRS and then 95 holiday hours - thats a gross of about 2300.00 and i got 1100.00 net.......OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
raped in the bum with sand sprinkles!!!!!! that is nasty....
im still buying myself a treat....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~tilde time~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

later skaters

Anti-Social Schitzophrenia

Sometime I wish someone would tie me to the back of a slow moving truck and drive around all day and Id have to follow...and then at the end of it when I thought i was near death id look in the mirror and lo and behold my face shrunk back to its former self.

Sometimes I think i should request my jaw being wired shut....i could drink slushees and soup....

Sometimes I think I should buy myself a taser and set it up so whenever I behave in an unhealthy manner it will zap me and INSPIRE me to behave.

I was watching the Fifth Estate today and I sat there thinking NO SHIT SHERLOCK when they did a story about Chris Benoit killing his wife, kid and then himself....
They have some really important research folk/doctors/neurologists with without a doubt proof that football players and wrestlers who sustain concussions repeatedly end up having a protein in their brain that is found in 80 yr old dementia patients....except all these ppl are in their 30s and 40s when they are dead and have their brains tested...

If you have ever known anyone with a brain injury this will not be shocking news...in fact why the fuck isnt it common knowledge to think that ppl who get hit in the head all the time are gunna have some ISSUES in the mental dept...??
Was an interesting program...I find that much more settling than the steroid theory...
It just seems sensible that if you hot someone in the head hard all the time over a period of years theres gunna be some fall out....

Anyway...NO im not a wrestling fan.

I feel like poop...I need more sleep.

I brought my frog home...I like it too much to lv it at work...plus when I took it out of the box it was REALLY loud (haha) and i know i will make enemies if I have it turned on at work.

WHOEVER HAS MY BOOKS I WOULD LIKE THEM BACK....Ive loaned out books and I have no friggin idea who has them....
all my Wally Lamb books are gone....WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I Know This Much Is True....

Couldn't Keep It to Myself: Testimonies from Our Imprisoned Sisters

I'll Fly Away: Further Testimonies from the Women of York Prison

bring em backkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!

and all my Marion Zimmer Bradley books...the Mists of Avalon etc......

bring em backkkkkkkkk!!!!

What should the title of this painting be?

tee hee

I love it when Ayla's MSN is left on and she leaves the room and I change her status to "MY MOM IS AWESOME"

MUAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA

Doi!

No Country for Old Men....the creepy killer guy....with the weirdo 70s hair....when I saw that movie I was convinced I knew who he was but when i googled him he was NOT...so this of course bugged the shit out of me bc I rarely make those errors in pop culture (haha loser)....so today im watching some cowboy show on tv and im all pumped cuz Grissom from CSI Las Vegas is on it as a cool cowboy and i love him and well then i see the GUY i thought the guy from No Country for Old Men!!!

So I get a googling and WHAM! I think they do look similar and even though the cowboy movie guy was older then bad 70s hair guy it made sense bc i thought bad 70s hair guy had plastic surgery done on his face......anyhow....cowboy movie guy was Oliver Reed (how fucking horrified was I that I was watching the return of lonesome fucking dove HAHAHA) and the 70s bad hair guy is Javier Bardem....Can u see the resemblance?? Oliver Reed is on the LEFT and Javier is on the RIGHT....

Anyhoo....went and saw STEP BROTHERS tonight and it was really FUNNY....which was a treat bc i was expecting it to be dumb.

...yawnnnnnnnnnnnn

I suddenly feel very sick....BRB

Recovery Fest 101

You know you're old when u are recovering form a week of work rather then being at the Pemberton Festival as you would have been 20 yrs before regardless of the work week you had experienced.

I am not fond of festivals....after Lollapolooza nothing could entice to me attend one...esp one you have to camp at.

Well ~ here I am...I am not a non MM employee and thrilled but at the same time so bagged I can hardly enjoy it.
I think I have actually made myself a little ill...Ive slept damn near all day, missing phone calls and such...
I am listening to The Wall, remembering how much I fucking love this album.
I hope the old broads like it upstairs too.

Ive pretty much just slept all day...and puttered around...
Last night a big ass clicky flying beetle got in here and the cat was going insane and I didnt know why...i kept chasing her off things not knowing she was trying to get it...(good kitty!!!) so then when I SAW IT i near shit bc i friggin hate unpredictable flying insects like that....I used the broom to try to get it so the cat could catch it but i ended up whacking it into an area i couldnt see into and i wasn't gunna go looking but at the same time i was on high freak alert cuz i thought it was gunna get me....
Eventually I saw it again and broomed it and the cat got it and messed with it, rendering it half dead...wasn't gunna fly again and thats all that mattered.
That was my big adventure of the night.

I didnt get to tell anyone to fuck off at work on friday night sadly....i was looking....its all i ever wanted to do in 4.5 yrs...so of course when i get the go ahead would anyone be confrontational with me??? OF COURSE NOT!!!!!! Dicks

OINE MORE DAY

im not sure how ppl have more than one job....i hear about ppl working 2 ft jobs and wonder how they keep themselves from killing ppl.

if i didnt know i just had a week of this crap i might actually crack and have to go to a hospital for a *rest* haha

one more day......i cant tell you how happy i am about that...last night amanda and i dined on swiss chalet and i considered it the last supper....haha mmmmm mashed potatos hahahahhaa

staying awake at work today is gunna be a giant struggle...so i hope we can be kept busy....
i experienced my 1st OFFICE POLITICS moment yesterday at a unit meeting....a union employee called out the unit manager in front of everyone and it was rather uncomfortable....oddly enough coming from management I didnt know whay the union girl was being a whiny bitch....
the unit is behind....OT is offered to the staff...they dont take it...so its offered to ppl in other units....well....that wont do...bc they getting OT pay for their wage doing a different job that pays less so why should other ppl get more pay to do this units job....?? ummm b/c u lazy fucks WONT do it so someone has to.
I didnt say that of course...haha but I was thinking it haha

today i get to do my oath saying i am not a terrorist against the BC gov't....or something like that.
can u tell i cant wait!

i think im gunna menstruate soon....i cant stop fucking eating....its so annoying...

aunty pam bought me this awesome croaking frog for my desk at work so i set it so anyone walking by sets it off and it croaks...and i love it bc ppl always look around to see wtf is croaking in the office as they walk by MUAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

deadddddddddddd

i am for dead.

2 more days.

oddly enough the 8 hrs of doing shit all is more grueling than the other...i cant wait to get some shit to do there...
i seriously fight to stay awake half the day....
after lunch is the worst...

aunty fern and sam are coming to vic next week so i will finally get to meet then and hang out a little.

Ayla has a boyfriend named GRAHAM GODFREY
he is cute
she thinks that makes me a pervert creeper.
maybe it does...
im too tired to care.
ha

when she reads this shes gunna shit rainbows.

day one

fucking eh!

Move Over Batman...

He stole the show....and not b/c he is dead either...he just did.

I was not a kick ass Heath Ledger fan before or after his death but I will give it to him, he owned the new Batman movie...
Was a good movie...although I gotta say I friggin hate the voice of Batman...it is mega douche-like.
Christian Bale is hot as fuck but gawd that batman voice.......*shiver*
And not just him, they all suck...except George Clooney's.
I was sad I didn't get to see Christian Bale remove his shirt and have some heavy make out action with Heath Ledger....errr I mean...whoever.


hahaha

Anyway...I have to go to bed...new job and all tomorrow, gotta look like I wasn't partying all night!

SEE! They used to come on a stick for fucks sake!

Tampons

You guessed it....its the topic of this Sunday!

It was sparked by Michelle B and an old school tampon at the end of a lollipop stick that I found in my Granny's bathroom cupboard... hahaha

Anyhow...
today is the day b4 my new job starts...WEEEEEE!!!!
Today I am going to clean my house and get some laundry done and possibly go catch a flick later is someones game...

Even thought Michelle B told me Wall E was really good I had to put my foot down and tell Shawn I refused to go with him to see it...Movies for me must captivate and cartoony stuff doesnt captivate me....im sure it is a good movie....and I may see it on dvd but I am not paying a kajillion bucks to see it when I would rather see the new Batman movie or something like that.

I am on a Tori Amos kick right now....

I arrived home to a pile of cat barf at the door last night....
wtf. I would be worried if i didn't know that up until now i have been lucky, as it seems everyones cat vomits fairly frequently.

Yesterday was my last FULL shift at my former company...I got to hand over my manager cell phone to the poor unfortunate soul who is now running the branch (RIP Amanda) and I just have 4 short shifts left....
I can not tell you how friggin fabulous that feels!

Last night I fell asleep with the light on and with my head at the wrong end of the bed while watching TV...
I have no idea why my head was at the wrong end...


I am typing big b/c I am an idiot and added these pictures before the text so now I have a shit load of text needed to match the damn pictures.

Ohhhhhh it was TARA's BIRTHDAY YESTERDAY!!!!

HAPPY BARFDAY TARA! Sorry I wasn't on Facebook at all the last day or 2 and since it is apparently a sin to hang a calendar properly in this house I was oblivious!

No one at work sent an email either the fuckers.

I hope you had a good day.....

Speaking of birthdays....did u all know MICHELLE B's birthday was JULY 12th and she hid it from the online world like a little troll hiding a piece of dry bread under a bridge!?!??!!??!?!

Everyone ADD IT TO THEIR CALENDAR/POP UP REMINDER THINGY so next year we can completely rape her with birthday greetings to make up 4 this year....

Michelle you shithead.

I need a new male to hang with....Shawn's always playing friggin tennis and soon his new boy toy from Edmonton is moving in with im and I will never see him then...
All he will be doing his having hot gay man sex all the time....
Gawd knows I don't wanna listen to him go on and on about that....ok actually I do but...haha

BTW, I had a new mini obsession this week and soon I will be making cd/dvd's for ppl so if u get one in the mail you'll know it is something I think you need to obsess about as well.

Kraft Dinner Express

This bleached sea onion looks like a giant sperm doesn't it?

Guy & Donna

I have been eating a lot of KD since Ayla's been away.
Now I am out of milk entirely...cant even have cereal. RUDE.

Guy & Donna's visit was great as usual. We went and ate food that rendered our taste buds comatose (I liked mine but it was WARM to say the least), then we cruised looking at all the ladies and gentlemen of the night for a while....hung out at Saxe Point in the dark with blankets, scaring all the young kids away talking about bang bus and bear bangers....
Next day we went to Ogden Point and walked the breakwater after breakfast....good time was had by all and no one got crabs! yay!

Aunty Pam is picking Ayla up from the airport Tuesday thank gawd bc I was starting to stress about that....being that she comes in at 430 and its just my 2nd day on the job and asking to leave early would likely look really LAME.
I am excited to see Ayla and hear all her stories and perceptions....
her dad called me yesterday sounding all sad and shit and asked me to call him back...I haven't yet....I don't really want to.
I am not sure what it is he wants to hear from me...I feel like he thinks I am gunna be able to fix this shit he created and I am not and do not feel like its my job to.
I have been about as fair as I am capable of and the bottom line is Ayla's feelings are what matter to me and his are his own to deal with...its called consequences/fall out. He certainly hasn't been looking out for my feelings over the years and I don't feel like I owe that to him.

A lot of it too has to do with the fact it is still VERY apparent to me that he is still pretty much all about himself and his own feelings...and he can seek comfort with his wife if shit isn't going his way...
I don't wish him ill will but I also do not want to be his personal counselor about it.

Moving on...
The piggy back mutant pickle!

holy vaseline batman

I forgot about the DEADLINE thing magazines have so I was up til after 1 am slamming out some not so interesting music crap....

Sure will be nice to be M-F 9-5

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

7 more shifts to go then im done forever....

Last night was my last close ever...fittingly it was a shit fucking close and I was there until 1030 (I closed at 9)....I love it when retarded tellers leave me 8347583745897349587349583 outages to try to find bc they are too stupid to do their own work.

Dont worry, they will be getting some wrath today about that.

At least I didnt have to go to the manager meeting last night....

I feel bad for Amanda...the new teller just quit and the other training teller never showed up 4 work yesterday.....fuck.

Welcome to management.

She better go on prozac.

 

 

Marmots UNITE!

I slept all day....i was awoken at 8 am by work (and i can honestly say i will not miss being on call 24/7 and taking 6 retarded calls per day on my days off) and then pretty much drifted in and out of consciousness until 4 pm....it was beautiful really...

Ayla called and blew all her cash today shopping for clothes....I dunno how it happened that she is such a fasionista.

I am pining for a slushee really bad....but it aint gunna happen so...I just better get over it.

ohhhhh my she's in it 4 the money, no love dont mean a thingggggggg - Jenny Good u still suck

Heyyyyy Strangers....

ok well....newsflash....got that job I wanted...start July 21 so will be working FT there that week and then after work going to my previous job until July 25...then im a free agenttttttt.....itll be a shit week but ill manage.

It's all rather spooky....the transition but im gunna hold on to my holiday pay pay out from previous company and use it as a buffer if needed.

This new job is NOT providing me financial security at all, it will just be a better job, better hours, less stress and more opportunity 4 the future. I keep looking around and thinking that if i could just stand a man for longer than 5 mins and get em in here to pay half of the rent id be a styling unit....but....I cant pull that off so im paying rent on my own...which provides its own benefits...esp after having some lengthly conversations with Ayla's dad this week...my gawd. It is very difficult not to be cruel to him with the truth...
Ayla is being VERY mature and nice on her trip....she adores her little cousin Camille and her grandparents and her uncle Vince and her step mom Cindy but....she is still not warming up to her dad or her cousin Samantha...it is a personality thing and how do u tell someone that maybe their kid just doesn't like em? Maybe as she gets older she will become more accepting, I dunno but...4 now I think that's the case.

I had to explain to him the other day that Ayla grew up in a family of all women (with the exception of her uncle Jimmy)...that is a lot of estrogen and none of us are door mats or put up with a lot so in this unfamiliar family dynamic shes in its very different. It is normal for them that gramma and step mom cindy to get ripped on and teased for a lot of stuff....and it really bugs Ayla....makes her defend them and she thinks her dad and cousin etc are bully's...Her dad picks up on this and just can not see that from an outsider looking in that is how it could easily be perceived...i explained that he would get eaten alive at one of our family gatherings bc he would be the victim of that shit 10 fold but i dont think he gets it haha i was glad to hear Ayla being defensive twds her gramma and cindy...it may be just how that family is and thats fine - its just not what shes used to and i told him to just chill out and realize this is NEW for her....

My gawd he would not last 5 fucking mins at a family dinner with my family without feeling the daggers of judgement stabbing into his head hahahahahahha

It is going well...Ayla is being UBER POLITE and behaving very well and really being a fabulous sport...shes trying all sorts of new things, new food etc...today they go go-carting...tomorrow its manicures and pedicures/shopping with Cindy so....not all is lost haha

Well looks like im in the BC Musician Mag again.... (scroll to the bottom)

http://www.bcmusicianmag.com/docs/issues/WEBBCMusician07.08.pdf

Appears like it'll be a regular thing...who would have thought my rambling drivel would ever make it into print hahahaha cracks me up....it is fun though....I enjoy blathering on about music stuff so its perfect.

I have had the most HEINOUS heartburn lately.....i drink a glass of friggin water and have heartburn, its annoying as fuck....im hoping its bc im ditching the meds 100% and the weaning process may be responsible....cuz i think when i started taking them the same thing happened....weird.

G & D are coming to visit on the 16th woohoo....Rock Bay here we come....im sure we will go see strippers, eat thai food and cruise rock bay (hooker street) looking to see some weirdness.
Yeah we are all about quality entertainment!

My cat misses the kid...she wanders about looking to get mauled often...

GAWDDDDDDDDDD

i am gunna throw up in my mouthhhhhhhhh

i cant handle the suspense

i may hang myself by the nipple if this doesnt go my wayyyyyyyyyyyy

must go eat thai food with gay shawn

bbl

whewwww

Ayla has arrived in LA and sounded very giddy when I spoke to her...

 

woooohooooooooooo

 

Got a call back for the job I REALLLLLY want and the fuckin company i work 4 isnt being incredibly helpful providing attendance info for them so I took the lady 4 yrs worth of pay stubs....hahahahaha there might be 2 sick days in there.

 

I am hoping bc they are trying/bothering despite the roadblock that it means im at least up 4 consideration....fuck i want that job.

 

Fingers crossed.

when hollywood runs out of indians, only the indians will know

greetings from the voiceless wonder....

slurpees help the voice...and im not even making that up in order to justify slurpee over-indulgence.

its Sunday ladies and gents....day off for the fortunate...today i am fortunate...if anyone calls in sick or whatever they can go die bc i will not answer.

i ordered a couple giant pizzas yesterday for the crew so they've had pizza to eat all weekend...i haven't utilized the petty cash option for them for a while so it was a good morale booster.
they all quite enjoyed mocking my squeaky retard voice as well.

everyone pray to the goddess of working cars that Arika's car starts working so she can take her trip to the sh00-shwap (i know i spelled that all wrong) cabin and not lose all her dep. $$$ (Arika, steal a car if u have to!)~ by the way i love yer pink fucking hair! LOVE IT!

i can not stop listening to Hospital Music...i have such a hard on for champions of nothing, 99% of us is failure, moon over marin, im a window, etc that i just cant listen to any other album currently...i think ill change my living room around today...i wanna be able to see the view from the couch i think.

Mute

this is why I dislike my job so immensely...today i have no voice...nothing but a whisper, this due to the fact that the whole week i have been sick it hasn't been an option to take any time off to get better...or rest...so today i have a closing shift and i still have to go to work...and i cant find anyone to come in and work the window for me or answer phones....how the fuck am i supposed to answer the phone?
i can make a sign for customers saying i have no voice but how gay is that?
i will be so fucking giddy to be rid of this job i can not even tell you.

any job i have after this one is going to feel like a dream come true.

my cat has turned devil...shes been a real little fucker this weekend...i opened Ayla's door so she can go reek havoc in her room....i came home last night and the curtains in my room were pulled down (rod and all)
and shes always trying to get into my paint supplies and shit....she gets on the table and sits under the easel and cocks her head to the side and stares at me mixing paint like its the most fascinating cat thing on earth....all well and good until she tries pawing at it.

ooo things are looking fab

1st off...thank you Arika......your boss in licensing has already requested my file from the candidate referral service for the gov't! woohoooooooooooo

i have no voice today...i woke up feeling worse then i have all week this morning...weird....

Ayla is going to Nanaimo for the weekend to dress shop 4 the wedding....then she comes home sunday night and is home 4 one day and leaves tuesday morning for california for 2 weeks................I hope I have a new job in place by the time she returns!

whew

glad that is over...

all is well and good...i really want the financial aid adjudicator job....the office has excellent air conditioning...and a good vibe.

interview went well, both of them...
the dr appt was a fucking shit show...im actually thinking of looking for a different dr...i had to wait 1.5 hrs to see her for 10 fucking mins.
i arrived on time at 1045 am and there was 4 ppl ahead of me.

anyhow....on my travels today i found the most EXCELLENT art store that has the COOLEST shit in it...most of it i dunno what it is but there is awesome shit there...i bought 1 tube of blue acrylic paint so i felt like a genius hahahaha the canvas there is groovy too...and they got SPARKLY COLORS!! wooohooooo

my latest painting - titled *POO ON GRASS* - has transformed into something remarkable...Pam, it is not the same turd that you saw...it has MORPHED into something BETTER....i dunno who the proud owner of it will be but...man its good.

omfg...

I just wanna thank the great lord above for doing me the favor of making it cool out today...thank you sweet jesus for listening to my prayers and doing me right...

 

 

one down - two to go

well that was the easiest interview ever.

govt interviews are ODD....they give u all the Q's they're gunna ask before they interview you, they give you 30 mins to write and prepare....so when u go in....its no big deal...i dunno if ill get the job but it was a smooth-ass interview.

2 more tomorrow plus a Dr appt....fuck. Tomorrow is not gunna feel like a day off @ all.

AUNTY CATHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WHY DONT U PHONE ME OR WRITE ME ARE U OK?!?!??!? WHATS GOING ONNNNNNNNNNNN I NEVER GET HOME IN TIME 2 CALL U UNTIL YER ASLEEP!!!!!!

fireworks....are gay

WISH ME GOOD VIBES AT 9 AM!!!!

omfg guess who called me tonight out of the fucking blue? the gawd damned Englishman...he will not go away...
i told him i couldn't talk and hung up.
hahahahahha i think he was drunk and horny.

Barf.

well....

Happy Canada Day.

 

I am going to work and not getting paid time & a half....woooohooooooooo