helpppp meeeeeeeee

I have had about 8 showers today...

 

I am currently drinking my 4th slurpee (yes I actually found someone to bring me over 6 slurpees this afternoon...I gave one to Ayla so I have one more left in the freezer)

 

It is too fucking hot to live right now

 

This unproductive coughing can fuck off too...what I wouldn't do to cough up some nasty lung butter right now.....mmmmmmmm

 

I have to work 9-5 tomorrow and I can assure you this shit better improve in the night or its gunna be a shit day...I am getting all spazzed out over these job interviews this week...if its hot like this...and I still feel like crap it will not be a good combo for dazzling ppl with my charm (haha)

 

I am going to eat some shreddies....then drug myself and go to bed......

 

 

I NEED 12 SLURPEES STAT!!!!

I must find someone to bring me a box of slurpees today that I can freeze 4 throughout the day...Cuz later its gunna be shit fucking awful like yesterday.

Yesterday was the longest day of my life...it was so hot that Ayla the Sun Bunny was hibernating, wallowing in misery....
I couldn't even type much without getting too overheated...i dunno if i had a fever as well or not...but i did have about 13 cold showers.

Today my whole ribcage feels like its cracked...I wish i had an underground bunker right about now to hide from the heat. Im too sick to leave the house...

im not kidding about the slurpees, im gunna be calling on some favors today to see if I can wrangle some slurpee action out of some friends....

when u freeze em in the freezer for later you then get to chisel it out later and holding the frozen block of slurpee is COOLING....ohhh yes SLURPEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Matt GOOD (Kelly M - u dork) was fabulous....that looked cooler BIG, MGs shadow....click it and it should be big....

absolutely amazing...I was feeling like a walking talking turd but I stuck it out and was glad....he really kicked some ass...it was a good contrast bc the last few times ive seen him its been acoustic/solo goodness (get it, goodness hahaha loser i know) so this was a cool deal.
Anyway i wont go on and on about it like i do with my cat.

Thats Adrienne (BELOW) with a satisfied look on her face after she ACCIDENTALLY leaned on the side doors to get some fresh air in....it was all dead air and didnt help but it was good anyway just to stick it to the man hahahaha
There was this gross skanky hag near the end that came over to where Adrienne and I were standing (SEE ABOVE) and she was disgustingly flipping her sweaty gross hair at us and I was pretty sure it was gonna start a brawl if she didn't simmer down hahaha Adrienne really wanted to pummel her hahaha
Aunty Pam and Uncle Jimmy lasted despite the disgusting heat and said they enjoyed the show....I tried to wear earplugs but it was so hot already i felt like i was suffocating so...I couldn't leave them in...you can hear everything with them in surprisingly...

did i mention

im in midst of a hideous chest cold....yeah.

 

all i have done is watch mike holmes on tv...i do love him.

 

pam and jim left today bc im not very good company hacking and sweating and hopping in the cold shower every 7 mins.

 

it is sooooooo fugging hot...

that I think I know what it feels like to be cremated.

Matt Good last night kicked some serious fucking ass...

the arena was 1984375837485 degrees and it was like the deftones concert...SOAKING WET...but what a good show.

I know im slightly bias but...fuck...it was kick ass.

Typing is making me sweat more so im done for now.

Matt Good Pictures

http://flickr.com/photos/jennzebel/

Is this the PMS Psychosis Hotline???

well i survived yesterday....i showed up at the testing and waited in a lobby with the other ppl testing, it was SO COCKSUCKING hot in there I thought i might die...and i looked around and thought, "hmmmmmm they all look smarter than me" ------ we eventually got up into the testing room and started the test....3/4's of the way through the 1st one i clicked something and the fucking thing disappeared!!!!!!!!! IM NOT EVEN SHITTING YOUUUUUUUUUUU...it was so quiet in the room there was no way i was gunna ask the dude sitting in wtf happened so i just started over...then half way through the whole affair my FUCKIN CELL PHONE RINGSSSSSSSS (my work phone)...i forgot to shut it off....what a fucking loser tool.
I was the last person in the room....which I thought was a bad omen since i have always been the 1st one done tests....but upon reflection i never did well on those hahaha
So I left and felt totally demoralized and was sure i sucked the hairy banana....then my boss realized where i was and why i was coming to work late and had someone covering the window for me at work....yeah her level of pissy disgust was quite apparent...should have lied I guess.
It is quite apparent to me no matter how hard i try to remain in the position with integrity it will not be good enough and ill be the evil traitor so....i think im done worrying about it. Turns out they called me right away and work and said I did quite well on the testing and we set up an in person interview for July 3. woohoo.

Generally when anyone leaves the district...people are ruthless and shitty. Even saying you want to leave the job takes u right out of the loop entirely....now that im outta the loop I am going to take advantage and just BE and stop worrying about shit i cant do anything about. Its even gotten me out of the next manager meeting...Ohhhhh yeah...how things turn.

Anyway enough of that...im sick of the whole environment and I will never have a job and be friends with my direct supervisor again...it is too complicated.

Yesterday was such a fucked day...I was on the verge of tears all day...then i did a big snafu at the end of my shift and ended up staying there to help the closer close so I was there til 9 fucking 30...so when i got home and did my big spazz out over the state of the kitchen and Ayla's lameness I went in my room and bawled my face off for a while and felt better...hahahaha

AUNTY CATHY WHERE ARE YOU!?!?!?!!?!? shes never there when I call......

Pam and Jim will be here Friday for Matthew Good....thats about the only thing making me not jump in front of a bus right now....
im on the verge of uterine shedding (HAHAH Guy and Kelly who are barfing right now), i have a chest cold and its making me completely psycho....just ask Ayla...the last 2 days shes been victim to it...i dont think i have to worry about her being an abused woman in a relationship....no matter how many times i tell her to shut up or im going to murder her she just carries on mocking me and WILL NOT SHUT HER DAMN MOUTH....it is infuriating.
She is lucky she only gets punched in the arm.

when we were young, we hit like hammers

Yesterday at work a woman named Michaela called me from the Ministry of Whatever about my application...seeing as it would be rather GAY to do a phone interview whilst at work for a different job I am calling her back this morning for a phone interview.

Yesterday Ashok called me form the Ministry of Whatever and had me do a questionnaire and send it to him right away...I nearly answered the phone inappropriately cuz I thought it was Arika calling from her work #...ha ha ha Oooo that would make me a super loser.

Ayla is at UVIC building a robot right now...she is PISSED OFF too that I made her go to this outing....I figure shes done school for the whole summer on Thursday so she can SUFFER at robot school hahaha MuHAHAHAHAHA

I have today off.
Donna and I are going to see the Love Guru this afternoon, despite the crap reviews....I wanna see the Zohan movie too...im gay like that.

I am not surprised by looking at the state of my own keyboard and the ones at work that it is cleaner to lick a toilet seat...its too bad u couldn't get a KB that could be put in the dishwasher...
Speaking of dishwashers...Cynthia has me all hot and bothered over a counter top dishwasher...she got one and its changed her LIFE u know!! I have the perfect already ugly kitchen for one and a spot 4 it that wouldn't really impact my counter space at all.
but I also want a BBQ that doesnt take 45 hrs to bbq one piece of meat....
I have the gimme gimmes apparently...

I cashed 9823475983759837598347598375983475 of the BC Go Green chqs that the provincial govt sent out to every person and child (they aren't ppl u know) in BC...fucking vultures...its like they couldn't wait 5 mins to cash the damn things so they could fill up their fucking gas tanks or buy beer....I think the purpose of the incentive is lost on most ppl....
PERSONALLY i think a counter top dishwasher would be more environmentally friendly that the water i waste washing my own dishes cuz i only have one sink....im not even making that up...i think it would be less water...fuck i also would like bamboo screens to block the sun from ruining my life in the living room....ohhh i need canvas too....cuz i like ruining GIANT pieces of canvas as opposed to smaller one MUAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
oooh and i need a jacuzzi tub and a swimming pool on my balcony....yeah and a zip line all the way down the hill to my work so i look fwd to going to work...ohhh and --------nevermind

I finished reading MOTHER NIGHT by Kurt Vonnegut....it was a fantastic book...

OMFG I just DLd Moon Over Marin by the Dead Kennedys...I prefer Matt Good's version but it is an interesting cover to say the least....

Sunday...missed church AGAIN!

Today at work Amanda (who lives near me so we walk the same route home) was telling me how last night she was walking home by the condo and she looked over and saw on a bog screen tv that someone was watching porn...she chuckled...and as she walked she ended up getting a peek at a girls head bobbing up and down over a guys penis....we had a good laugh about that...ha ha....so tonight im walking home and I wonder "what are the odds theyre watching porn again?" - i figure unlikely...its a work night after all (haha)...so im walking by and HELLO! There is a chick in the nude standing in plain view....nice set off titties too i might add...talking to someone....I waved and smiled and carried on walking....

So now walking home after work has a lot more meaning to it....

Kitty is back to her evil self...yay for Kitty!

Friday is Matty G and the band of 3!!! yeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I made Ayla watch American History X with me last night...she quite loved it..I think Ive made her a Ed Norton fan...she liked this movie a lot and the Painted Veil I made her watch a while ago.
I went and saw the Hulk...omfg...

HULK SMASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahahaha
I loved it....I especially loved the ending and the tie in they are going for....WOOHOO!

I just bought a desk (not new) for my computer so I can have my other desk in my room and i LOVE IT....having a desk in my room I mean...the new desk is cool...its metal and glass and is on cool wheels so the whole computer can be unplugged from the wall and moved without having to disassemble anything.

Job interview on Friday...did I talk about that yet?
Anyway i didn't want the job...it was sales veiled in admin work...no fucking thank you.

Had a good chat with my boss and I was glad to know we are both on the same page...shes completely fine with my exit whenever that may be...i have someone in place and have been hiring so...I am absolved of any guilty feelings I had. Works been ok lately...dont worry im not fooled. haha

She is A-OK!!!

Oooooo Tiger Cat!

Thank Jennifer it 's Friday

I have a job interview this morning before work...it is not going to pay enough but I thought I would go just for the practice...its been quite some time since I have been on a job interview after all...and I am a lot smarter now than I was 5 yrs ago.

Kitty is bouncing back finally...shes eating a little more and has finally started acting like a cat again. This morning she jumped into the tub after my shower and lapped up the drain water like pre-accident Kitty would have so that is AWESOME!

Because I have been letting her do whatever she wants this week she now thinks she owns all counter tops...ugh
I had cat food strategically placed all over the house so whenever she felt like it she could nibble hahahaha now I have to go find it all.

OMFG Matthew Good is here in a week SQUEEEEEEEL!

Oh ~ a plug-in atrocity of light and cheese

Aside from the nasty lavender scented garbage bags (oh how I regret ever mentioning I liked the smell of lavender in my moms presence) she left....I also got this fabulous goodie...ohhh yes folks...its a color changing dolphin hideousness thingy.
Apparently it was given to her and she of course has no room for it so she figured Ayla would like it in her room HA HA HA Ohhhh mom you are so clueless.

Coincidentally - Deanna sent me a Patron Saint of Cats toy statue and the next day my cat took a dive off the balcony...hmmmmmmmm
yes she did live...but im not sure how lucky it is as cat protection.

Also id like to share the bird shit on my window with you.

Cat is just nibbling still...although it seems if she nibbles on her own she doesn't throw it us...if we syringe feed her and pukes it all up so...I think ill just let her nibble for a few days...and then see whats up...

Work: well listen to this whine I have...I hired a girl specifically for MY store...I chased her...I interviewed her...I hired her...I did her paperwork....and I have been told now that she is not coming to my store at all.
I can not tell you how fucking irritated I am after being told for years to hire fore your store if u dont like the staff u have....to then get ass fucked without so much as a thanks...there was no *Oh Jen do u think we can trade someone out for the new staff member?* or "Jen...you now have an extra staff member...which one can go to another store?"
When I ask if I can have her part time at least im told no.
Hmmmm....well shes gunna work up at a store where her potential is completely wasted bc its slow and boring and she wont learn risk assessment and she will grow tired of it and quit...
or she will eventually get sent to a busy store and be mortified bc shes used to the sloth pace of the training store and quit.
I applied for 8 more jobs last night.

SHARESIES!

Well, I did it...I managed to weasel all my moms photo albums...I have ripped them all apart and organized the pictures and then managed to compact about 10 albums into 2.
I did set aside a nice little pile of pictures for my sister, and her baby book...which I am happy to be able to give her. It always bugged me that I didn't have my own baby book until i stole it form my mom haha
Anyway...it was great going through them all...I'm sure when my mom visits again in a couple of years she will shit a brick when she sees all the 70's albums are gone. Then she will ask where some of the pictures are and I will tell her I shared with Kim...MuHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Got a screen for the door so the kitty is house bound for ever...she is slowly improving...ive been enticing her to eat with cooked chicken...canned salmon...and syringe feeding her recovery wet cat food which smells fucking gross.
She is still very lethargic and not herself...but shes reacting to sounds a little more so thats good...just gotta get her eating properly again. I thought about taking her to the vet again but then she ate a piece of chicken. Yay! haha

Have I mentioned lately how desperate I am to get a new job?

HMMMMM

I SEEMED TO BE SCOWLING OR MAKING GOOF BALL FACES IN ALL MY PICTURES AS A KID....whoa caps...sorry

the only naked picture you will ever see of me....

Jesus Christ I look like a satanic twat here...

LOOK AT ME DRIVE! sorta...

not sure u can make it out but this is the basement wallpaper we have when I was in kindergarten in Swan Hills AB...it was all nudie ladies hahahaha

this is me and my cousin Rob who doesn't like me bc he thinks i am trying to weasel in on his inheritance...anyway this was my favorite pink panther shirt...Aunty Cathy had just permed my hair....

Me and wee Kimmy...Moose Jaw SK...I miss my mack jackets.

Memories...

OK....I came across this picture...this is our house in Wainwright AB when I was in grade 2-3 or something...anyway...wtf is with the midget poster (fantasy island galore) in our kitchen?!?!?! how truly odd?! I think this is where my midget fascination stems from....

proof that I once had a cat as a kid and PROOF that her name was (get ready 4 this)
"PUSSY"
now...i didnt even remember this until i read the back of the picture...anyway...it was nice to see that at 10 yrs old i wasnt the pervert i am now cuz i clearly had no idea how funny i would find it now to have a cat named Pussy hahaha

Remember this gay 70s craft? PIPECLEANER FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS?
omfg my mom did every gay craft...macrame...tri-checm painting...ceramics...

pass the valium

did a late night trip to the vet last night...
why do they have to be such rapists?
anyway...i was glad 4 the peace of mind.

in case u didn't know...i have not had good luck with cats in my life so im a little paranoid about kitty currently.
she hadn't eaten or anything all day yesterday and her belly got hard and she looked just wrecked in spirit so...in we went...
he said she seems a little stiff and sore but fine otherwise...said she wasn't dehydrated but i was given a syringe to feed her wet food by force if necessary...

a little history here...when i was 10 my brother and i got kittens...mine was a tabby...his was a ginger. I cant 4 the life of me remember their names but they were fun and sweet...i remember my step dad showing me how to rub their noses in their shit if they crapped under the basement stairs - i was HORRIFIED and begged them both to always go outside!!!!!
anyhow...one day im in my room rocking out to my pat benatar record *in the heat of the night* and i look outside and my step dads just got home with a truck, pulling a trailer of hay or some such shit...i have no idea why bc he owned a friggin gas station....maybe it wasn't his hay/truck i dunno anyhow...it looked like someone dropped their jacket in the middle of the road...only it wasn't a jacket it was MY DEAD CAT...but at dusk i couldn't tell....
la la la time goes on that evening...then i think my mom comes in and tells me the cat jumped off the trailer of hay right into a friggin car that was passing...and its dead.

INSERT TRAUMA HERE

little ginger kitty ran away from home (SO THEY TOLD US) shortly after.

no kitty til MILO....
Milo the One Eyed Wonder was funny and a total retard...he chewed a string of glass xmas lights WHILE plugged in ONE AT A TIME (crunch crunch zap zap crunch) and did other insane shit on a daily basis...drove me insane but after he lost an eye and all that I was rather fond of his weirdness...
then he got sick...i don't think we had him a frigging year....he stopped eating...his health deteriorated...I spent the last month of his life trying to syringe feed him 3-5x a day in order to reverse the effects of starvation (did u no cats have a tendency to go anorexic? its true)...and this is no EASY feat...as weak as he was getting he would still managed to shred the mother fucking shit out of u as u one handedly tried to hold him and use the other hand to operate the syringe full of foul smelling wet, warm food..I found dried, crusted cat food in places around my house that amazed me...
anyway...this i can say was one of the worst months of my life...one of them...i harbored such guilt and pity for this damn cat that when i was at work its all i thought about and when i was at home it was a shit show trying to get the cat to eat.
eventually it was clearly not working...he threw up anything i did manage to get him to eat... and he was going blind and falling over so Ayla and i took him to the vet and had him put down...this of course was after about 600.00 in vet bills to try and figure out what was wrong with him...without a 500.00 panel of blood work they couldn't tell us anything...anyway it was eventually inevitable so...we did the deed...and i can assure u the 2 of use were wrecked for a long time afterwards...

and i no this sounds gay cuz its just a cat but...whatever...fuck off.

so yeah needless to say im a little skittish in the kitty dept...i am sickingly fond of this kitty so i don't want any repeats....ill pay 120.00 4 a vet to tell me shes got a fever but is otherwise ok for now.
she is eating a little more today already and looks less shell-shocked so this is good!

today im hanging with the cat and cleaning up...Arika will be by later for bbq burgers...and she can take her MAGIC PAWS painting home...ohhh u poor bastards, blessed with weird ass jen art MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

I also have to submit some writing in to that magazine today...so I gotta finish that up lickity split so IM GOING NOW!!!!!

Search and Rescue Complete!

Thank gawd that ordeal is over...poor Kitty.
After work last night a friend and I went back to the place i thought she was and she finally started meowing so we could get some idea what part of the bush she was in...I ended up sending Ayla into the ivy/bush to get her and she was scared as hell but ok.
Nothing looks busted, just her sanity.
She is home and all but she is traumatized hahhaha Seriously...she is like someone elses cat. She is eating a little but you can tell her appetite is off right now...I guess 2 days of no food or water will do that...(hmmmmmm, note to self...get lost in the bush for 2 days)
She purrs but she looks VACANT, like she just got back from Vietnam.
Hopefully in a few days she can relax a little and get back to her weird self.

Well Im off to work early bc Jen B was a no show again today so shes fired.
Fuckin fuck.

:o(

No kitty.....she is still out there.

 

I am pouting in a very huge manner.

 

 

OMFG

I think my cat fell/jumped off the balcony last night...I've just looked for her outside for 2 hrs and she is not inside.....

I have now turned into one of these MISSING CAT FLIER ppl....

ODDLY ENOUGH I just said 2 days ago to someone that this neighborhood has the most missing cat flyers than anywhere I have ever lived.

Fuck!

Hulka Hulka Burnin' Love

I thought I would get this out of my system once and for all (maybe not) and do a post just about the Incredible Hulk...the new version of this movie is coming out soon and i am frigging desperate to see a movie with both Ed Norton AND Tim Roth in it...2 of my favorite actors...

Liv Tyler is the hottie in the new movie...and I am ok with that...I can look at her for a long time and not feel too sad about it. Although I do, at times, want to punch her in the lip just to see if they will swell any bigger.

The last Hulk movie...I had no interest in it at the time it came out bc the hype was gay BUT recently, after I had become so fucked in the head over the new one coming out it was on tv recently and I watched it and fucking loved it...I didnt even know it was Eric Bana in it til it came on...and Jennifer Connelly...well everyone should look at her for 2 hours. Shes just purdy.

Eric Bana should marry me.

This is just a weird picture of Ed Norton and I dunno what to say about it.

I used to watch the old Hulk tv series as a kid...my brother and I loved it of course...and I remember the 1st time I saw Lou Ferrigno without the Hulk make-up, I was horrified. hahahaha

HAHAHA HAHAHAH HAHAHAHHA

Eric, I want to do something with your pants as well...

Liv Tyler ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Jennifer Connelly v v v v v v v v v

Who would win in a fight, Jennifer or Liv???

Gawd damn u Eric...purpose already...IM WAITING!
(by the way Eric, don't think I didn't notice your film reel there...that is a subliminal attempt to get me to give you head, I know it)

This is Ed Norton (above) wondering how he will win me from Eric Bana...
I cant believe he doesn't know that all he would have to do is get buffed like in American History X and keep his shirt off and lose the nazi tattoos.

My mom is coming tomorrow...I am not horrified about it really...I worry more about Ayla's behaviour while shes here...Ayla does poorly around my mom, partially my fault, shes picked up a lot of my vibe and resentment over the years...but also b/c my mom is fairly indifferent to her and has been for most of her life.
My prozac-less mood these days is not good, I have little to no patience and am especially bitchy for no real reason. Just ask Ayla...I go from normal or mental patient on her in about 4 seconds.
She just stands there laughing at me now which just infuriates me more so I just go in my room and sleep for an hour. HAHAHHAA Fuck yeah, I love my brain.

Ayla went and saw the Strangers and said it wasn't that scary.
WTF!
Kids these days.

I have applied for about 20 more gov't jobs this week...I stay up until 2 am most nights trolling the sites.
Yesterday I applied for one I really want...I think its the one I wanted...where Arika works.
it took me forever and a fucking day to do the govt app and questionnaire so I feel like I deserve a call if nothing else haha
All these jobs take FOREVER to close and hear back from *if u are so fortunate* so it will be a process from hell im sure.
In the mean time I have to work hard at not hating work so bad that I turn into a mega freak troll.