dusting for death

this morning ayla did her courtney love make up sitting up on the bathroom counter...i asked her why and she said their were silverfish EVERYWHERE....so i looked around...and there was one. haha so i said i only saw one...she said she isnt fooled...if theres one theres 100.
dork
so when i went back to bed all i drempt about was fucking silverfish.
i got out the killer dust to try and kill em all...dieeeeee bugs dieeeeeeeeee

brownie hypocrite

ayla says im a brownie hypocrite...and i am...
she made brownies for a bake sale tomorrow at school...i insisted i get them out of the pan b/c its usually DIFFICULT on a good day and i fucked them up anyhow hahahahhahaa so...brownie hypocrite i am.

i cant find a fucking popcorn popper...how irritating...canada tire...zellers...mall kitchen store...
i think its a conspiracy.

at the mall today ayla found a jacket she LOVED....anyone who knows us knows ayla has BURNED me in the past repeatedly with buying her jackets...i buy her a jacket...and she likes it for 5 mins and then decides she hates it and never wears it b/c gawd forbid it makes her look PUFFY....so this jacket is 100.00...it is a nice jacket...she wants the EXTRA SMALL SIZE...i say if she wants me paying she gets a small so it will still fit by december.... H+I+S+S+Y+F+I+T!!!!!
she started acting like such a dick i told her i refused to even pay part now and if she wanted it so bad she could save and buy it herself or put it on layaway. THE END...Ingrate.

I am not fully staffed at work and get a shitload of manager shifts all October....this is fucking fabulous b/c i will actually have time to train and organize and get the ball rolling to get my store GROWING rather than coasting....kind of exciting in a totally nerdy way haha

The Englishman came over last night and we watched Lucky Number Slevin.
It was so so....im glad it was a free rental.
He stayed over....ayla was rather disgusted and said shes mortified i have such little self respect that I would have a friend with benefits...hahahahah hh hahaha hahahhaha ohhh to be so young and idealistic...I asked he if she prefered i married every idiot i slept with and she said yes. She lost all credibility with that answer. ha ha ha ha ha
they still havent *met* yet...

red pepper jelly rules!

I hate MySpace and how everyone whores themselves to get the most FRIENDS on their list....
I deleted most of mine and now DENY everyone else who asks...just to fuck with their FRIEND LIST AGENDA muahahahhahahahahahaha

RESCUE ME is on...I love Dennis Leary...he is a sarcastic bastard and I love it.
It is my new favorite show....

I open tomorrow...tomorrow is freakshow day aka welfare day...i should come hom with a few funny stories.

Barb has officially turned me off ever getting contacts after the one eyed scottish folk singer story...as much as i didnt like the idea of touching my eyeballs getting an infection from a contact and losing your eye is just fucked.

I drempt about Matt Good last night...wtf is up with him @ the moment? He is so hot & cold...one min hes all personal and sharing then he goes strictly politics and cans the comments...
anyone know what is going on with his family....? I know his great grandfather died but thats all ive heard. Im nosey...buck up.

i love april wine...laugh at me all u want!

gawd what the fuck is this world coming to....? i guess i dont get out much...im shopping today at Save-On and I guess im not up on the latest shopping buggy security b/c as i was barrelling around to get to the car to load my shitload of groceries my buggy comes to an abrupt/violent stop....im looking at the buggy wheel and its all fucked up so im thinking i busted the damn thing.
I look up and see this sign...apparently parking lots are equipped with a magnetic thingy where this yellow line runs around the peripheral...and the magnetic thing LOCKS the buggy wheels so ppl cant steal em...thats all well and good but for fucks sake...i think the whole thing gave me whiplash...and YOU KNOW how i prefer to get my neck injuries...anyway so the buggy is fucked and i cant move it b/c i have 3847598347598345 lbs of groceries in it...so tracey laughed at me heartily and im never going back to that store again haha

My 1st day back was fine...place went on just fine w/o me around...i love that.

if i was brutally forced to dress up 4 halloween this is what id be
<----- seriously...its perfect....its funny its comfy....
but since ive not dressed up since i was 11 i doubt ill feel very compelled anytime soon.

I dunno what to do 4 my barfday this year...Im quite sure Brucifer wont be able to make it over to reek havoc on my peaceful existence (he brings out the absolute idiot in me and i always end up sereverly drunk when hes around cuz he is just too fucking fun) this year so i think ill go low key...make a nice dinner...maybe have a few friends over to eat it...i have the day off and the next day so itll be nice regardless.

fuqitall2hellandback

jen ponders...

will my nose ever stop being stuffy?

will there ever come a day when im independently wealthy b/c i invented something like saran wrap so i dont have to go to work in the mornings?

will i ever stop being tired?

will the fucking kid in the next bldg stab his mother in her sleep? i am hoping so...or that someone will 4 letting him come out on the patio while she smokes and making a stupid amt of kid noise at 530 am...

the church bells rang...

gawd.....i am back to work tomorrow at 7 am....gawd help me.
i may have a seizure....

trip home went well...damn quicker than the train ill tell ya that!
the new freakishly large tv is delicious to watch movies on....gives me a boner.

the englishman and i watched SILENT HILL last night. Do not rent it...it is a complete piece of shit. im about to swear off all those kinda movies from now on...the hills have eyes...silent hill....fucking garbage trash. its embarrassing.
last night b4 i left donna asked me where i was off to and i told her *to see the englishman*...
and she asked me where it was playing hahahah hahahaha hhahaha haha she thought it was a movie hahahhaa cracked me up.

i am in mega sloth mode today...must have been all the creative pretzeling last night...muhahah
ahahahhhahah ahahahahaha
bring on the painkillers

i bought a few movies this weekend....brokeback mountain (ahhaha hahaha gawd i love cute boys making out) and american history x...been wanting to get that for a while...anyway...im too traumatized about work tomorrow to be much of an interesting blogger @ the moment....

The Raging River Powell

my moms idea of being funny with fruit

cousin kelly likes scottish balls


i was making friends with crows, luring them with cheesies waiting for the ferry in comox

the beloved new tv...getting a prime ride....

cross-eyed cousin kelly

near death experience

well holy hump.
lam and jim are getting an ew LCD tv so guess who gets their 32 in monster tv for free??? WOOT WOOT! Aylas gunna shit! its gunna be like being at the movies after our 21 in tv life up until now.
pam near died getting the tv into the car, tripping over a brick...that coulda been ugly.

i dremaed that i drove off a bridge last night and was underwater swimming to the top and lost my purse and i was really pissed about needing new ID and having no bus fare to get home haahaha so if we die driving off the ferry into the ocean today u can all say *wow she was psychic!*

pam and i get to sit in the back seat on the way to victoria...the tv gets the front seat...i can only hope that she doesnt have gas the whole way or i am deader than dead.

arika....the tv at your house....give it away please...sell it, give it or toss it....whatever...make whoever wants it come pick it up...

piss poor excuse 4 a drunk

gawd - i tried to get hammered but i lost the vibe part way and then it was all over....

i did get a good picture of cousin kelly feeling up a scottishmans kilt to fondle his balls though.

im so tired this week...i feel like i could sleep all day.
Dr appt went well...aside fr the screaming newborn in the next room that made me spontaneously lactate...i nearly bolted...its the one noise that makes me lose my mind, a baby crying...
ive def. lost some motor function in the right arm...in 2 wks if it is at all worse ill be sent to see a nuerosurgeon...i scored some more T3s (hahaha) and more hardcore anti inflammatories so im hoping another round of those will show some improvement in the arm thing.
ive been directed to avoid whatever i was doing that caused the OUCH...i can not tell you how truly depressing that is.

deanna and i are going in to town today...(ooo la la)...JERRIANN WAS A NO SHOW LAST NIGHT and IS NOW NOT ANSWERING HER DAMN PHONE....everyone BOO Jerri for me in the comments so she feels bad (hahaha)

michelle came out last night....she is my friend from jr high who started popping kids out at 16...she has 3 now at 35...only thing is she still looks like shes 22 and has a fiance 10 yrs her junior...how genetically fortunate...she is fun though i will give her that. i was the party pooper last night cuz by 10 she wanted to hit another bar and all i wanted to do was go to sleep lol

we are catching the noon ferry tomorrow...yay i can sleep in!

Jen needs....

ok this totally fucking cracked me up lol i swear i didnt make any of these up hahahaha

google, for example "Jen needs" and look at the ADVICE u get hahaha but do it with your own name...some of the stuff is bang on which is quite disturbing haha

Jen needs to be a My Little Pony ~~wtf hahahahaha

Jen needs a break

Jen needs to have a session or two with a therapist ~~ tried that for yrs, didnt really help much

Jen needs your help

Jen needs someone to love her as much as she loves them ~~ i may vomit

Jen needs ink ~~ i do want to expand on the tattoo i have….

Jen needs a new gun ~~ hahahaha

Jen needs to find a self righteous, conspicuous “I’m better than you” charitable position so she can keep charming the sheep into thinking she matters ~~ HAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is my favorite one!

Jen needs to hook up with MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY!!!! ~~ twist my rubber arm!

Jen needs to visit a psychiatrist and possibly have a lobotomy. ~~ and SOON!

Jen needs to get back to the hospital immediately~~ im worried now, there is a theme

Jen needs to just move on for her sake

Jen needs to hook up with Clooney ~~ again with the rubber arm

Jen needs a better looking man ~~very untrue….id hump anything so long as i liked him hahahaha

Jen needs to get some more sun and a hair cut. ~~ well i did get my hair cut hahahahahahaha and well im waiting for pasty as a corpse to become a FAD!!!!

Jen needs to convince herself that warm weather isn’t so bad ~~ hahahaha

Jen needs to go completely crazy!

Jen needs to pack on twenty pounds ~~of make-up maybe hahahahaha

i forgot the best picture yet

damn....i cant tell u how bad i want a damn mack jacket now....see...i was COOL LONG B4 MY TIME!!!! this is why when the *grunge* thing 1st caught on i was in my fucking glory b/c i already dressed like a plaid slob and i finally for once i was not some fashion mutant....mind u it didnt last long bc soon plaid became taboo which really pissed me off....

My gawd i have no double chin, this is freaking me out....esp when I think back to grade 9-12 (i believe this picture was grade 9/10, thats Laura with the giant toothbrush beside me, i know u are laughing at my hair really bad right now laura hahah) and recall how truly warped my perception of myself was....i thought i was an absolute whale...

the sickest part of it all is i can see Ayla doing the SAME thing....thinking poorly of herself regardless of what anyone says or the reality of it.

Societal (assuming that a real word) conditioning makes me vomit.

BLIMEY! Me nose is dry!!!

i have escaped the clutches of my mother...she was feeling rather confessional this visit (oh lucky me) and while it wasnt a nightmare she is as nuts as ever.

im at my aunty pams now...i feel like im typing really loud...im the only one up...well the birds are twittering next to me but i dont care if im keeping them up or not.

tomorrow deanna and i are hanging out...then its pub night later...thursday its sushi/survivor night at cousin kellys...then friday its homeward bound...

i spoke to the englishman this morning...making sure he didnt die of an ear infection in his sleep...he lived through the night...
i was scared an earwig crawled into his ear or something.

tomorrow im going to see my Dr.
i will trust her suggestion about what to do about this neck/arm issue...and try to weasle more drugs outta her. ha hah ha

i scanned a shitload of pictures from my moms today....

this will probably seem depressing to some but...ive seen this picture for yrs in my moms album and today it struck me that this picture represents my mothers mothering...focused in on a man...as her children sit blurred on the sidelines.

hahahahaa i love the look of genuine happiness and shock on my face here

the 1st and last time ive ever worn anything sparkley...hahahaha i was the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland on ice....Oh yeah...I was so cool haha

oooooo i want a mack jacket again....thats me and my sister kim....and below my brother glenn with his dads corvette of the day

the river of powell

i hate my moms keyboard...its all curvy and wavy and it pisses me off.

well it only took me 9 hrs 2 get here yesterday...*groan* but the cool part was Kelly the Misunderstood Fireman was at the train and gave me a ride to the boat so it was VERY cool to meet him finally after all these yrs of talking...i look fwd to him making a trip to Vic so we can hang out when im not numb and dumb from 5+ hrs of choochoo train hell. Anyway THANK YOU KELLY!!!!!

Got to my moms and had a good family dinner of turkey goodness and a game after that wasnt too gay...BS'd with my mom til 1 am, man shes a packrat...this woman has a room full of STUFF....ill take a picture and post when im home.

My nose is uber stuffed...
im hanging with my mom today then i dunno what im doing....
im a free agent....
omg i cant stop sneezing...
i hate being on my moms computer...im scared she will find this blog and become even more disgusted with me hahahahahahahahahahhaa

Note to self:

DL some old Night Ranger when u get home....
I have always adored Jack Blades...

Did I already babble on about making Ayla watch some of TOMMY the other day? OMFG that is a fucked up movie...truly.
I generally love musicals...esp weird ass ones but TOMMY is just silly somehow....anyway Ayla and I had a good laugh at it...
We watched STARS ON TRIAL the other day too and we both nearly peed ourselves when someone called Britney's husband Drunky McNoJob hahaha hhahaha hhahah hahahaha hahahaha it still cracks me up!

ok fuck - getting up early licks...I will be able to snooze on the train though...I wanted to bring myself a pillow but now that im having to carry all my shit i dunno if im all that attached to having a pillow after all.

im gunna admit something out loud here...travelling w/o credit cards and inbetween paydays SUCKS holy ass. THERE I SAID IT.

must go pick a book to bring with me...if it sucks ill be bitter 4 having to carry it so i must choose carefully...ill update ya as im sure ill have some gay stories 4 ya... xo

forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head

ok almost packed....
its like everyone (ok michelle) vanished today from internet land....
i bet shes at church hahahaha or a church function hahahahhahaha

today i was redeemed....whilst watching a PETS GONE MENTAL type show there were numerous videos of elephants going insane and killing ppl etc and after we watched it i reminded ayla of the time i took her to her 1st and only circus....as a learning tool to show her how these poor animals are treated in captivity and exploited etc. She remembered instantly that i wouldnt let her go 4 an elephant ride and it really pissed her off when she was 4...and now she thanked me hahahahhaa woooohoooooooo im all for elephants going insane and killing humans...im sure that makes me a bad person but...who cares

good night bitches...im off to bed...

sitting in the same bell jar, stewing in my own sour air

ok i take it back...ive been thinking mean thoughts about the englishman all weekend and as usual it was not about me at all...he got a kick ass ear infection and has been a miserable human...hence no plans b4 i leave tomorrow or phone call til today.
i dunno why i even bother...im so emotionally stunted. truly.

my house is as clean as itll ever be for karen to stay here...even the bath tub sparkles....i wanna have a bath in it just b/c its actually clean.
im not dreading the train trip, i assume it wont be packed since summer/tourist hell is drawing to an end pretty much here...watch, there will be some fucking old age tour on board going up island and ill have to sit by some old smelling lady who wants to chat.
thank gawd 4 mp3 players.

i finished the BELL JAR last night as I laid in bed thinking mean thoughts about the englishman...
what a sad book...i must sit and have a chat with margaret d. about it...how hoytee is that...a book discussion hahahhahaa

my hair is shorter...i made her take about 3+ inches off...it feels fucking fabulous...it looks exactly the same only shorter hahahahhahahaa duh...im so stylish.

change o' plans

my ride didnt work out up island so im training it up...should be interesting...or not...oddly enough its cheaper to train then to bus up island...and the bus takes even LONGERRRRRRRR for the love that all that is holy....fucked!

kelly...i think yer gone on holidays monday...but if not lemme know, maybe we can do lunch...

i must go pack like a lunatic now...i must pack very light since im having to carry my shit up now with my gibbled arm.

Yaaaa Hooooooo

9 days of freeeeedommmmmmmmmmmm!!! <--like Braveheart

fuck im so happy...
even though im royally irritated I get no englishman tonight im looking on the brightside and am just glad im work-free for the duration...
i will eat perogies with sour cream and ketchup instead...and watch a movie...or read...or do whatever the fuck i want just b/c i can!

this bldg must be full of fellow nerds b/c the laundry room is fucking LOADED with clothes...on a friday night.
i get a boner thinking about having my own washer and drier again.....and a garborator (sp)...fuck i loved that thing.

moving onnnn....

"Why I Am an Idiot" by Jennifer C___

I am an idiot b/c I leave myself 20 mins to get ready 4 work when i already told myself when I got up I wasnt going to do that b/c I hate going to work looking like i put my make up on while on a rollercoaster.

I am an idiot b/c I bit my nails while watching survivor and now im pissed off that tv makes me bite my nails unless im stuffing my face with food.

I am an idiot b/c I don't have a dvd burner to back my shit up with and now im bitter.

I am an idiot b/cI have not done laundry in 11 days and all my clothes are dirty so I must go to work looking like i just crawled out of my coffin.

THE END

PS....day 11...I dont care what happens at work for 9 days after today...I will not CALL work! i will not CALL WORK!!!!!!!!!! N ONNNN OOO NONONOOOOOOOOOOOO

one more day to live through

day 10 folks...that means ONE MORE DAY and im free for 9 woooohooooooo
day 11 is sure to be a killer...as its the 15th and a friday (dbl payday)...its also the last day I have b4 i go so all hell is sure to break loose.
fuck it though...
we got auditted today and i nearly barfed...i also did my 1st interview today and i think we will be giving the gal an offer...may backfire, who knows...

tonight survivor was ok...Ozzy the Latino is hot...but I think the concept is a little too faded now...unless i get really sucked in i wont be shitting my pants if i miss an episode.
the roller grrl who let the chickens go is a dick hahaha hahaha

I picked my knee scab really good tonight and bled all over myself and ayla looked at me like i was a retard. Sometimes she should be the mom.

im drinking coffee...and going to bed soon to read...the Bell Jar is freaking my mind out...the end is just fucking full of fuckery.

my sister kim reminded me of the bowls i used to make out of vinyl records....now i wanna make some!!!! she wondered of u could melt a cd the same way...i dunno...anyone ever tried it?

i dunno where the englishman is...what i do know is hes had all week off and ive seen him once and this irritates me yet i will never admit it to him...it just seems like a waste of good ol opportunity...unless of course my gibbledness freaks him the fuck out...

whatever.

im getting a haircut saturday and my whole life with change as u all know so.... ha ha ha

im now scared to have the mary kay broad over...even though i know theres no chance in hell id get rooked into anything...

OHMYJESUSFUCKINGCHRISTOFALLCHRISTS

not only was Ryan McMahon fanfuckingtastic tonight...guess who else was there JUST BY CHANCE....no not matt good....but neil from 54-40...no shit...apparently hes buds with coco love alcorn and he played 2 54-40 tunes with her all acoustic and lovely and it was fucking AMAZING to see.
Margaret and I were awed by such a chance piece of coolness...the rest of the young'uns didnt quite get it i dont think...but man how cool....

better than an autograph: KELLEE!!!!!

big balls...loofa and trivia challenges

so last ngiht i started blathering on only 4 it to vanish so by then i was too tired to repsot it all so...consider yourself blessed.

night b4 last was cool...the englishman came over and despite me being drained of all my life force due to the day of manager meeting horridness it was cool...he and i have a rapport now...we are delightfully retarded and have a pretty good time bullshitting and such. It turned into TRIVIA night....the topic of BIG BALLS came up....of course its an AC/DC song but he was convinced it was Mott the Hoople...I googled his ass incorrect...then he kicked my ass on the topic of LOOFA...yeah i always thought they were underwater plant/growth things...nope..theyre GOURDS that grow on land...so we were tied.

Oh i won a Mary Kay home party make up session with 5 girlfriends hahahah isnt that the best news EVER! hahah hahaha haha ive avoided this lady for 3 mths but i finally decided to make her come over and gimme my 30.00 of product and then service me and 5 of my friends...which will end up being ayla and her friends b/c i dunno one person who would show up at my house 4 such an event...its up there with Tupperware Parties. yikes.
Maybe Margaret D. will come over if I tell her there is beer. ha!

Tonight is Ryan McMahon woohoooo!!!! Im dragging LOTSA ppl there tonight from work so it should make 4 an interesting evening...ill be sober as a mofo sadly but...oh well.
I have been directed to make sure i get an autograph 4 Kellee
hahahaha yeah he will look at me like im a fucktard (since its been a few yrs of knowing him and ive never asked 4 one yet b/c its kinda goofy haha) so ill be sure to tell him it isnt actually FOR ME lol

here...

best walmart purchase ever

ok ABOVE is the coolest candle ever I spotted it at walmart and for only $2.97 I was the proud owner of my own jesus candle complete with creepy prayer on the back and everything.
Dont act like u arent jealous of it.

Im stoned.
Tomorrow is a manager meeting. Long, drawn out meetings that make me want to cut ppls lips off.
I have my PR plan almost ready to go...I have a ride TO the ferry and it sounds like I have a ride home as well now so that worked out decent.

Tomorrow is 9/11I am sure I should be far more disturbed but...now im just a paranoid schitzophrenic about the whole topic...theres way too much bullshit to sift through to make any sense of it all...and it bugs the shit outta me that so many ppl are horrified about 9/11 when that shit happens daily in other places...ppl live with the threat of death and violence and terror daily but ooooo we are so wrapped up in our own crap we dont care.Not to say the 9/11 dead werent important, of course they were/are...but how do u score importance when it comes to human lives?It was shocking to watch...I remember it vividly...me telling my then loser boyfriend steve that it wasnt fucking funny b/c that bldg was FULL of ppl....and then hanging up on him. ha fuck he was a dick.

i want the englishman to come over. i feel snuggly.

hahahahah the other day i made up a new word...i was trying to speak but sometimes thats hard work 4 me and i was trying to say scottish but i was thinking english and i said SCOTTLISH...ha ha ha its my new fav. word.Say it out loud....itll be your fav. word too!

my mom called me tonight...havent talked to her in a few mths...conversations with her are always the same...i listen to her talk about her job for 1.5 hrs...
gawd help me.

man a week or so ago the hot bike guy next door was humping his GF and she was screaming through the hallways like nobodies business....she was DIGGING it...he looks like a foxy lover boy alright...i havent seen him since then but next time i do ill probably wet myself.

I bought this today (ABOVE)....is it a VASE...or a big glass....??? I bought it thinking it was a giant glass...and i love green glass...but then the sales lady said it was a lovely vase and i was like, whatever bitch....but now ayla says its a vase...i dont care im still gunna drink out of it. ha h ahah h hahahahh haa

cry me a river of coffee & nicotine...

no T3's today...thats the plan.
Should make my new hire nice and ON EDGE dontcha think? haha haha hahaha hahaha

im drinking a coffee right now trying to figure out why i dont feel more grown up 4 doing so.
i always though if i smoked or drank coffee id be a grown up...and here im not after all. fuck

it rained all night so this makes me happy...it smells good outside.

my bread was moldy so no toast 4 me. rats.

michelle and i did some cool emailing last night b4 i lapsed into a coma...shes making my dream of having a fridge with an ice dispenser all the more important to me hahahahaha

i am still feeling non-inclined to talk to Connie...its been many months...ill probably call her in Nov 4 her bday...it feels really weird coming to the conclusion that an amazing friendship may have just run its course...i feel uber immature, like *ohhh if yer gunna be with him im not yer friend anymore* but its so much more than that to me...im sure he is a lovely person but the fact remains he beat her up and hurt her to the point she aborted the baby she was having with him and left him only to go back a few mths later....wtf was the gawd damn point of it all. it sickens me.
blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it still pisses me off to the point where i cant even think about talking to her w/o feeling aggressive.

7 shifts to get through then its 9 days of vacation. havent sorted out how im getting to courtenay to the ferry yet but...im being spontaneous i guess...haha

I guess I have a cold and have been too stoned to notice this week until now. ha ha ha ha