and wind...whispers..jennnnnnnnifer

It is windy like as a mofo today...I love it The other day we went with Guy to the ocean whilst a storm was raging and the waves were FABULOUS...the wind nearly took Ayla off her feet... It was so windy and wet I couldn't really take any decent pictures but I tried to get a few w/o wrecking the camera. 

Then we went for Japanese and OMG this woman at our table was so obnoxious...she went on and on about how rich her in-laws were and was domineering as a bitter old nun. Guy & I are sure she was insane. But the Japanese Village is always a sure thing in the food dept...no matter who u get seated with (last time it was warty circus ppl) the food kicks ass. 

So @ this time...12 yrs ago...I was in the early stages of labor...I think Aunty Pam and I were playing cards... Ayla was born at 750 am Feb 1st...was a long night but it was a smooth labor and birth despite my small moment of insanity around midnight. 

At midnight things were picking up...I was in my bed, writhing about, cursing the donor dead with all the force my being could muster...crying...having a general freak out...then I said *HEY WAIT A MINUTE this is not why you took the hippy midwife birthing classes...this is not why you read 834758347587345 books on how to birth peacefully...this is not the experience you wanted*....so I proceeded to pull my head out of my butt and relax and focus (ok my spirit left my body im sure hahah) until about 4 am where I wandered out to the living room and woke up good ol aunty pam and said LETS GO. 

After that it was all crotch poking and hospital formalities...wee pin head (thank christ) Ayla Juniper slipped into the world peacefully and straight into her aunty pam's heart... Me, I was scared shitless. hahahahahahhaa I even let Pam hold her 1st. She was a cute little hairy monkey...it only took 1 hr and her face didn't have the birth canal squashed look...So yeah...memory lane...la la la 

I have tomorrow off and I am making Ayla a roast beef dinner...if I was a real good mom I'd try to make yorkshires but...oh heck (hahaha) maybe I will. im off to costco tonight with shawn to buy veggies & return some pants Ayla hated...plus I need to hear about shawn's gay love affair he has going on b/c it thrills me out of my mind to see him so happy! 

Otherwise...nothing else is new...I have gone to bed early the last few nights b/c I have been so tired so I am hoping I am a little more energetic. DEAD LIKE ME was a rerun last night...boo.

Hangover w/o the Alcohol

yep thats right...woke up with a massive headache hahaha
Maddy got homesick at 6 am and called her mom and went home so then Ayla and Arianna went back to bed and are still there (1030 am sweeeeeeeeet)...I went back to bed as well and just got up...
I watched the Lords of Dogtown...actually was wayyyy better than I expected. Damn boys are cute too. Heath Ledger has pretend teeth in and talked like a goon the whole time...his character was entertaining but...i dunno if I like Heath Ledger as an actor much...I sure liked watching him make out as a gay cowboy but....

Quote of the Day

JEN: my burner is making u sound like a robot
BRUCE: you need more Ram in yer box
JEN: ahahahhahahaaahahahhahahaaahahahhahahaa
BRUCE: ROFL!!!!!!!!!!
JEN: HAHAHAHAHAHA thats my new blog quote of the day! thank u!

THE END

...and the torture begins...

I am sure I will be deaf by the end of the night...

I have mixed up a pitcher of mock martini cocktails for the ladies, they ate the pizza...they are now waiting for me to clean the kitchen so they can play the BEST GAME EVER...u know, the one where u strip down to your underwear, blindfold one person who is *IT* and then play tag whilst the video camera runs...makes for some fun watching later lemme tell ya cuz they end up forgetting its on. ha! 

I think I may have company coming tomorrow or Monday, Guy is on the move and will be around so I may get to have a good visit with him before he moves further up island soon. 

 Its too early to out the news BUT an aunt of mine, who shall remain nameless, just got a promotion to a job she was pining for...more $, way less stress....gotta love that! WOOOHOOO for her!!!!! 

Kori...I heard about your BMX experience this weekend...I am soooooo sorry about YOU KNOW WHO being such a turd...good riddance... Congrats to Justin and Amanda and baby Ryder...well done!!

OMFG Bruce...it's true, he has the WORST luck of anyone I know as far as it being ongoing and consistently shitty. Someone stole his truck...nice timing dicks...in the middle of a move...and a good job. Turds. 

Sleep-Over Impending Doom

well I have vacuumed all the dusty spiderwebs off the ceiling...took down the damn xmas lights...Ayla is making her cupcakes as I type...the mixer is going 4735687346587365 miles per hour...Ive already been called from work ON MY DAY OFF to come in and I said no ~ suffer sorry its bday party day, too much to do...I may go in to help the new girl for a few hrs though just bc it would be mean to leave someone so new there all alone on a saturday after payday...have i mentioned I am not digging this job lately? Helpdesk is looking better and better all the time....
Ok more later...I will have lotsa bitching to do once im back.

fresh n crisp like...newly dead cooked bacon

I went to bed early and dreamt of weirdo stuff all night long...having dragged out physical fights with priests, trying to catch cats that escaped from where I was housesitting, work pamphlets in the holders wrong and not knowing how to arrange them right prior to an audit (oh the shame)...

I can't seem to post pictures...I think I finally get why ppl complain about blogger...after this header issue and now the picture thing im irritated. 

Shit its FRIDAY....WOOOOHOOOOOOO despite the impending preteen birthday sleepover I will be enduring Sat night I am looking fwd to the weekend of no work... I plan to read a lot...

Question of the day: If you were in the witness protection program and had to change your name what would u change it to??

Pecan Flan is yummy & that is why I am fat woot woot!

Mozilla got rid of my header issue but messes my sidebar... so...I guess this weekend ill have time to screw around while Ayla has her bday sleep over and I try not to die. 

Jodie the Bakerman is moving this weekend back to Edmonchuk...just like that...gawd I hope its what he hopes it'll be and what he needs. 

I am going to bed early tonight OOOO YES I AM DAMMIT... I am not profound, fresh or slightly comical in the evenings...this disturbs me...adulthood is wrecking my night owl-ism. 

Thank you Dr J for this fun game: http://www.freeworldgroup.com/games/rabbit/indexnochat.htm

I think im gunna dig out my box of old negatives and get all the pictures I have to Rob Profitt (RIP) reprinted & mail them to his parents...I know how precious photos become after such losses...I feel like I don't have near enough pictures of my brother and that really pisses me off. Good Night...

DISCLAIMER:

I did not fuck up my blog....BLOGGER did...I dunno wtf that header pic is but Isabel's got it on hers too so I know its BLOGGER... and my colors are all changed FACCCCKKK im OCD.

yeah....

My feet are cold... I think im gunna boil myself in the tub while I read about Tracey Lords the porn star...nothing like being a literate intellect. 

I had myself a little mindf*ck today...Oh u know...ingrate sprog, old friends dead, guilt of epic proportions, work being unpleasant, conservatives winning last night... I am tired. 

Ayla's bday sleep over is this weekend. 12. Gawd help me. I remember when I was 12 I was so desperate to be 13...omg I wanted to be a teen so bad...and 12 may have been a dbl digit but it didn't end with *teen* so.... 

 I read Rob's obit today (thank you Mel)…I was happy to hear he finally partnered up...I cant imagine what it is like for her and his family...the suddenness of a fluke car accident ending so dreadfully... 

I don't like funerals...I know I know no one LIKES them but...I don't get anything out of them so I boycott. Going to Rob's would be like a school reunion though...I will go through my photo albums tonight and revisit the past... print off the obit and make a little spot for him in my treasure box... 

 Blah Stephen Harper is a serial killer. For true! 

 Have I mentioned I HATE with all the FIBRE of my being working with IDIOTS? 

 Oooo for the love of gawd...wtf is going on...I just got a message that Robin Goettler hung himself recently... Ok is EVERYONE gunna die this week? I think I will go eat myself into a sugar coma. 

there goes another one...

Craig emailed me some crap news late last night...turns out Rob Profitt died over the weekend...

I was more than stunned...I haven't seen him in quite some time but I have a lot of really good memories about a group of ppl I spent years hanging around with and he was one of them. He was also a good kisser...I give him a trophy for that. 

Apparently it was a fluke car accident...which just makes it all the more maddening... I guess this is what happens as u get older...everyone starts dying off...in dribs and drabs. 

Rob was always a bit of a mystery to me...he seemed like an open book but...

fuck

CONSERVATIVES SUCK!
#$%@ &%# $%#& @+!!!!

monday, u better vote u fuckers

I have a headache...my uterus is proving it's still working...so work is going to be great fun, I will spend the day trying not to snap at people...hopefully my spirit will just leave my body. I am voting after work...gawd plz don't let there be a line up. 

Did I mention my head is killing me? 

Did I mention the tomato boat has docked? Did I mention I am a tard most of the time?

 

Dr J has some sound advice...(I am not Dr J)

Do not dye your crotch/pubes with jello powder cuz he knew someone who did and they reacted to the stuff and had crotch rot for a week. 

Words of wisdom baby, words of wisdom. 

I had a conversation recently in regards to walls and self preservation...I am the queen of self preservation tactics...I have all sorts of little things I do to armor myself against certain vulnerabilities...some are downright pathetic...some are quite clever, if I do say so myself...I spent yrs thinking this was a crutch of some sort, something I needed to shed and get over...but I think they work 4 me...I think they weed out the faint at heart and the weak...then on postsecret today I saw this postcard that made me smile that smile of 100% truth and recognition...hit the nail on the head. 

I love that site...its pure genius. 

The sushi rolling lessons went well today...I have the kids eating prawns and salmon lox (for Ayla to eat this is a miracle let me tell you) and I was most impressed with their good attitude to be adventurous. I was not allowed to swear today while Teela was over because Ayla said her parents wouldn't let her come again if I was swearing like a trucker so I managed to keep my yap shut... I bet Deanna is peeing in her pants right now at the thought of getting to babysit wee Maddie when cousin Kelly goes back to work...I AM JEALOUS. sniff sniff 

Tomorrow is voting day...Warren called me today to encourage me to vote 4 the conservatives...funny guy he is. ha!

ewwww harper looks like a serial killer -------------> 

despite feeling like a planet orbiting the earth lately I am feeling pretty good... Jerri and Zed are *trying* again for a baby...its like the sky has opened and the goddess of fertility is singing praise!!!!!!!!! Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I keep forgetting Kori is gunna be a dad soon...what the hell is in the water these days? As long as it isn't in my water that's all I care about hahaha 

you are all so jealous....

of my new frog bathroom set....
dont try to hide it...
drool....go head....turn green like my frogs with ENVVVVYYYYYY...
muahahahhahaa

today was weird

Today I saw 2 old people, a couple, walking in the mall and they were chewing on their tongues the same way...it was bizarre.

Today I also saw a cute boy or 2 on my travels. 

Today I got my order from sears in...stuff I didn't need but, who cares? 

I got a bigger rice cooker...that gives me a boner. Ayla's stainless steal martini glasses are in too, for her party...ooo la la....so fancy. 

I blew my whole energy rebate chq at Thrifty's today. 

So what's the general consensus here...??? Voting is Monday here in Canada....are u voting NDP? or Liberal? or that OTHER party?

I cut my leg shaving....

Time for a new razor.... I hate those girlie pink razors...why do they think all girls want barbie colored shit? All I gotta do is get through today and I have 2 days off....sighhhhhhh 

Funny story....remember yesterday how I was so worried about Jodie the Bakerman being in the hospital???? hahahahahaha fucker....he left that msg (basically him telling his father in law to keep his son bc the hosp was keeping him in for the night hahaha) on his voice mail so when he didn't show up 4 work and they called they knew he ditched his last day for a good reason....HAHAHHAHA 

I think that's clever...I'm sure u can all use that if u want. 

I didn't die of acute mercury poisoning last night after all...Ayla lived too. Calling poison control was fun...I think I want that job...I wanna take calls from  idiots at 10 pm regarding kids who break glass thermometers all over the carpet and then vacuum it up (hey in case u didn't know u should NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR vacuum mercury hahahahahaa) ok its a Friday, its payday 4 some ppl....works gunna be a horror show....thank gawd I'm off early. Ayla's having a friend sleep over so at least I will be left to flop and be in a coma all by myself....wooooohoooooo

gibbled dreams & hash browns

Oooooo 2 more days to go and then 2 days off...woot! woot! ooo lifes simple pleasures... Work last night was a trip....it involved police and arresting ppl in the lobby etc. Great fun. Then something really funny happened...someone came in to do a service and I'm looking at the persons name...looked at the person...and I'm like HEY!!! I KNOW YOU!!!! WE EMAIL! hahaha It was a hoot... I'm sure he wished I was some little hottie but...oh well, that's life...things are rarely so ideal. haha It was cool actually...I knew he was cool b4 and now I think we will be more apt to hang out cuz we are both cynical and mean. ha! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JODIE THE BAKERMAN!!!! (I am a little disturbed bc I called him this am and there was a msg on his machine about being in the hospital and now im kinda freaked out) My toe hurts... I am still stuffy... I am still not wearing eyeliner (its easier than I thought it would be) I am gunna have a smoothie for breakfast VOTE ON JAN 23rd DAMN YOU!!!! a quarter horse HAHAHAHA------->

My Beloved Courtney

I have decided to kick EYELINER....not b/c of Courtney Love...well sort of but...mainly b/c I can't find any that doesnt run down my face and make me look like Courtney Love after a night of pill popping and gin swilling. It is driving me mad...I spent 15.00 on a NON-RUN stick this week and it still runs...so that's it...I am done. This is my shallow post for the week.

I have a toothache I think...this is not cool...I've only had a toothache once before...for a month straight...

then out of desperation I let this hot guy do reiki on my face...not b/c I think that it is real, I don't, but he offered and he was hot and I liked the idea of him putting his hands ALMOST on me hahahahahhaaaa

Anyway...He did about 30 mins worth, and he smelled really good...(I love guys that smell good)...and I went home and my tooth was still hideous as a mofo...but I didn't care b/c I got to smell a cute guy....BUT the next day...lo and behold...no bullshitting you...toothache....GONE. Never came back (this was 5 yrs ago or something)... My dentist was pushing for a root canal and I said no way...decided to suffer...and then WHOA!

Kinda weird...cuz it wasn't a case of psychosomaticness bc I didn't think that reiki worked and had no expectations ...well aside from me hoping the reiki guy would grope me but....oh well.

I don't work until 230 today...talk about ruining ones chi.

I watched DEAD LIKE ME last night...I taped in Mon night and Ohhhhhhh Yessssssss thats my new Monday night ritual...I love that show. 

My kid drives me nuts...she will only wear ONE shirt...she has 3 Emily Strange t-shirts but the ONE favorite one is what she TRIES to wear EVERY GAWD FORSAKEN DAYYYYYYYYYYY...I think I am going to go in her room and hide it somewhere and force her to wear other shirts...she will probably try to kill me in my sleep for it but...I will risk it.

well as if....

DO NOT VOTE FOR THE BLOODSUCKING CONSERVATIVES!!!!!!!!!!! Email is down...how rude.

I am a poor debater...always have been...all my opinions are rooted in emotion and less in logic, although my opinions seem PERFECTLY logical to me. Warren kicked my ass debating last night which pisses me off...that'll teach me 4 having friends who read and are capable of logical thought processes. He really knows how to push my buttons too....but its all kind of entertaining...sometimes arguing with him is just fun haha it wouldn't matter if I could argue well...he would still be right. haha I mailed Bruce some banana bread yesterday. He should get it today...I think its funny...he can toast it and goo it up with butter and be merry! I wish I could be there to see his face when he opens the box and sees its frikkin banana bread. HA! 

Wonderwall...by Oasis...is the only Oasis song I think that's worth a kick in the groin...why is that band so famous? I got my 250.00 Energy Rebate Cheque yesterday WOOHOO! Nice. Free money rocks. Is it just me or is Jennifer Connelly nice to look at ? I have this weekend off...it is the reason I live...why I have no idea as I will be doing laundry...

some kinda retard

Who makes banana bread all the way up to the point of needing flour and then realizes they have none...ME! So I trekked to MACS at 730 am, mortified Ayla b/c I pretended I was walking her to the bus like she was 4 (hahah). So now my banana bread is cooking and I'm sad as it doesn't appear to be a HEAVY LOAF recipe...I like that heavier than a brick banana bread...this is looking foofier....grrrrrr Bastard kid recipe book. I don't work until later today, 12-8. Longest shift on earth. blah

I am officially tired of snot...I am tired of blowing my nose...I am tired of my PHLEGM PROBLEM...I can not make out with boys until I am phlegm free...not that I have any bashing my door in but, you know...weirder shit has happened. (do u like the green text? consider it TECHNICOLOR) my house smells good...and its making the hall smell good...banana bread over powers all the POT smell in the hall...YAY for BANANAS! FUCK U TO ALL THE POT SMOKERS WHO MAKE MY HOUSE SMELL LIKE A CRACK DEN! I have always intensely disliked these 2 ppls faces....I dunno why. Susan Dey & Laura Dern make my skin crawl...isn't that weird? There is nothing wrong with them....Just thought id share. Ooooo and look at this cutest frikkin baby...omg i wanna eat her she's so cute!

random babbling at 630 am

- I am tired of having a snotty fucking nose 

- I have been terrible at reading blogs lately, I must smarten up 

- I wonder if I'll feel *normal* once I am 40? 

- Someone asked me when I was my happiest ever...and I couldn't think of a time. 

- I made a kick ass stir fry last night, you should come over and try some 

- Jerri Ann I will call u tonight after work 

- I think I am sucking at work, I cant keep up with the work load, there isn't enough time in the day 

- I love bread with sunflower seeds in it 

- I watched DOGMA the other day again, hahahahahaha I love that movie 

- I still only have 7 fingernails and keep mangling the 3 remaining victims 

- I hate it when someone u don't know very well observes/notices you have nervous habits and points them out to you...holy shit that alarms the hell out of me and ruins me terribly...

- I'd be rich if I could invent something that gets rid of double chins

- I wanna do something tonight but I dunno what 

- When u have a stuffy nose u can't make out with boys for fear of snotting on them or making weird nasal noises and that's NOT what u want them thinking about whilst making out 

- My eyes are really puffy this morning and I went to bed early...wtf 

- My kid is being really likable these days...I think ill keep her after all 

- The other night I had a friend over who was chatty and Ayla sat behind him and made faces at me and acted goofy until I had to look away b/c I was going to start laughing 

- Shawn is still all gaga in love with his boytoy Phil and this is good b/c I love the gay love stories apparently 

- My comp. is making a bad noise right now 

- Bruce rented himself a new apt for Feb 1 woooohoooooooooooooooooooooooooo and gets to live alone, I'm jealous cuz he has a bedroom and can have girls over and I don't have a bedroom - I think its hilarious how grossed out some guys get over the gay cowboy movie 

- I dunno why trent reznor is not returning my calls, im starting to get a little suspicious that he doesn't like me 

- Ok I think I have 2 go have a shower now b/c I work in 1 hour and I have really puffy eyes as I said b4....peace out bitches.

it is gay cowboy night

I am pumped...can't wait to see it. I hope I dont cry or some such shit. Was talking to Arika today about men...she just got the uber shaft from someone who flip flopped for no apparent reason...wtf is that about? Is it so hard to be honest and upfront? Instead of trying to make it be about YOU instead of them... I have realized that far more often then I care to admit I have tended to be the Mr X's *what I need right now* girl...you know...I am accomodating...nice...fair...fun to be around...understanding...empathetic...loyal etc...then...when the need runs out...I am no longer required. I think bc im a little weird I am a good distraction for people. This bugs the shit out of me. Do I have to be a cold bitch to get a guy to stick around? Cuz man...all the bitches (even if they aren't hot) seem to have no problem getting men...do men like the *game*....the conflict? Are us nice chicks boring as hell or what? Guess I may as well try it...I've tried being a prude...I've tried being a ho...I've tried being nice...carefree...time to be a mean bitch. ha yeah right...

The Big Book of Filth

I got this for xmas from friends... 6500 sex slang words and phrases: Female Pubic Hair bikini burger (90's) Davy Crockett's Hat (90's) gorilla salad (60's) pubickers (irish 90's) The Labia bum bacon ( 90's) meat curtains (90's) steak drapes (90's) Anal Sex go up the old dirt road (1910+) its quite entertaining... sitting on the toilet reading... today was a dog humping day...I had ADD, started 5 tasks, finished ONE...ugh tomorrow is Costco with shawn...then im going to see a movie after dinner...GAY COWBOYS...woooooooooohooooooooo cant wait...I bet ill cry

we all know someone...

I am tired... I have been thinking too much. Thinking is rarely a good thing when done with wild abandonment. In my next life I want to be mildly retarded (er) so I can just smile all the time and not worry about trivial shit. I shouldn't assume the mildly retarded have no worries but...I am ignorant to their plight so...there. Maybe I would prefer to be medicore retarded...a step down from severely, just to ensure I was not going to worry about too much. In my next rant I'd like to cover the topic of men who beat women... It is my pet peeve of the day...esp. when said women are pregnant and have invested their whole being and future into this idiot moron, only to have it all ripped away from them in the form of being forced to make some hard choices no one likes to make in life... I am so incredibly disappointed for someone close to me that I think I would stab the guy in the balls if I lived close enough to stroll over to his house. My leper whisker burn is pretty much healed now...now I have the ol BLOW YER NOSE TOO MUCH LOOKING NOSE...sexy bitch, I know. I think about where I will be when I die too often...I play it out in my head...the possible scenario...where it would happen...how ungracefully I would fall down and likely take some poor crowd of bingo ladies down with me...or a baby stroller...the possible seizure...the bodily function evacuation...would my eyes be open or closed? would my tongue slip out of my mouth like my poor cats did when he was put to sleep? Death is not a glamorous business. How long would it take for flies to start buzzing around my corpse? Do the funeral ppl do nasty things to the bodies before cremation? I think they do...I will not be persuaded to think otherwise. I am sleepy. I am having a nap b4 work....its 848 am...hahahaha

hahahahaha

A Kiwi walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's a sheep, you idiot."
The man says:
" I think you'll find I wasn't talking to you."

My Agenda: Boobie Shots

im sure had i stayed longer I could have got some REALLY good titty shots but...I am socially retarded and couldnt leave quick enough

Lani & Vanessa getting smoochie, Lani was drinking, naturally.

Mike won the cool prize of the night 150.00 cash and a company logo'd quilt handmade by Alex hahaha
Lani trying to convince Alex her new bra makes her titties perkier

Me and Virginia...the only person I've trained who hasnt quit hahahaha

Rob and Mandy...nice shirt Rob "POKER? I Hardly Know Her!" hahaha

Kelly and her boobs

Erin, who looks like Michelle Pfiffer (SP) to me, and her cleavage

Lani cleavage

Lani and Mandy having duelling boobies

the after xmas staff xmas party

Kelly's boobies

Lani & Erin, the 2 best company drunks
Erin & Krista
Erika & Virginia
Lani (my boss) with a rosey beer glow
Patrick nursing his sorrows
Patrick and Teri
Mika & Ashley
Mike being cool