I SMELL LIKE A HIPPY!!!!!!

mmm patchouli soap...im gunna sniff myself all day.

grumble grumble

im grouchy.
i watched a movie this morning - MEMENTO.
fuckin weird fight club sorta movie with a gay ending.
then i fell asleep, then i woke up, thats why im grumpy.

the dentist experience was fucked.
i guess its been 2 yrs since i was there...which is dumb cuz i have dental coverage (100%) but i hate them fuckers messing with my teeth cuz i go there with NO issues and they pick and buzz and scrape and then my teeth feel fucked...its like they trigger shit that is just fine til they poke the motherfuckingshit out of it.
i did however fall in love with the hygenist who - if i was gay - i would wanna make out with, strictly due to her personality and sense of humor. she swears, i like her.
i might be looking at a root canal in january...ive avoided a root canal for 36 yrs and im more than irritated that someone says i might need one now.
i dont want one, theyre nothing but fucking trouble...my tooth doesnt even hurt. fuckers.

it is way too hot in here...
2 more days of work and its vacation time...
goddess grant me the serenity to accept the things i can not light on fire....

my mall experience yesterday was shockingly decent.
school was in and the snow keeps all the freaks outta the mall so no line ups...i took it as a sign to get some shit done and pick up some crap b4 its all gone..u know those HOT items u know in 2 weeks will be nowhere to be found... (HAHAHA AYLA IM NOT TELLING YOU WHAT YER GETTINGGGGGGGGGG)

the snow is trying to melt.
bring on the rain to rid this place of the evil white death.

this whole post makes no real sense...lacks flow. lol

I love it when im at home by myself....Ayla also loves being at home by herself...cant say i blame her...I recall the JOY of being along as a teen...it was a blessing of all blessings! A chance to be free! In my preteens like Ayla I didnt get alone time really, and i didnt mind bc i wasnt a shithead yet....but once we moved to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan (grade 7) it was all over...thats when my mom and step dad Don divorced. The separation from my siblings was excruciating and not something I was able to verbalize. Kim was not yet 2 and little Glenn was 6ish...clearly my brother faired the poorest of us all at the end of the day...
Anyway, I forgot where I was going with that...
I was laughing with Donna at work last night b/c shes from the prairies too and never dressed warm as a kid...shit i remember being 19 and having only a ripped up jean jacket to get me through a Ponoka, Alberta winter...and I didnt die! Now its not even HALF as cold and im wearing 2 pairs of socks, a sweater under my jacket, mittens and am buying a scarf today at the mall HA HA HA HA My head is too fat 4 a toque. Although something like that looks like it would fit ok ---> the static of wearing toques and scarves etc drives me MAD.

Anyhoo....today im off...im gunna clean my house andwatch the young and the restless b4 going to meet ayla for the dental appt at the godless mall...

ive figured out what im getting the ingrate 4 xmas....now i just have to make it happen...xmas w/o credit cards is kinda weird...so itsa good thing ive kept it SUPER SIMPLE this year.

nipple-itis!

im amazed at the way ppl walk in the snow....we, i waddle like a penguin, taking 387456873568 baby steps to ensure i wont fall...i DO NOT take my eyes off the sidewalk...always looking for the best foot placement etc.
then i see myself being lapped by ppl who just barrell along, carefree...WTF is that? do they LIKE to fall on their asses in public? shit i had an employee today who wiped out and fractures her knuckle on the way to work....believe it or not i try to avoid unnecessary injuries! haha

Anyway....the thermostat at work is BROKEN....the temp was 66 all day...even "I" wore a swear my whole shift...unheard of.
Hopefully tomorrow they fixers will come fix it.

it is FAR too cold next to the patio door...so im done here...i ate no FAIRWAY MARKET meat today so i should have a peaceful night.

I have to go to the mall tomorrow...WITH AYLA...dentist appt....GAWD HELP ME

I LOVE CHAPSTICK!!!!!

mock miscarriage? gallbladder? or just another day in the hood...?

-5 with the windchill making it -15....
i dunno why they dont just say its -15.

anyway....it is cold out for us pussy victorians...so cold in fact i have an INCH of ice covering my whole patio door...but i did get to watch ayla fall on her ass trying to get down the driveway today so all is well and good in the world.

lastnight i had a very weird thing go on...i was completely FINE and then at 1130pm, out of nowhere, it was as if my stomach went into a giant freakout seizure...like the whole set of abdominal muscles not visible through the lard pockets, from my ribs to my crotch just turned ROCK HARD...and not in a six pack kinda way....oddly nothing accompanied the pain at all...no puking...not shitting of the pants...nothing...i immediately thought that if i was gunna die i wanted to die in my bed so i shut everything off and layed down, revisiting my birthing/breathing exercises....i thought maybe i was having a gallbladder issue but since the last one 4-5 yrs ago i NEVER eat anything late,esp that would cause it to have a fit...and this felt kinda different anyway. Then i thought i was having some magical *youre too fat to know yer pregnant and now yer miscarrying* episode...but...no uteral lining provided proof of that....
so i just layed there and went to sleep...
woke up today...not a problem...i thought my stomach would be SORE at least fr the weird muscle thingy but nothing....
Ive decided in my uneducated way that its the fucking meat from Fairway Market~ive never heard good things about their meat...but then the roast i made the other day, the 2x i ate the left overs i was instantly struck with tummy weirdness...then last ngiht i cooked the shit out of some ground beef and then 3 hrs later was struck with this belly seizure.
I am sooooo done with their meat....Kaila at work got the trots from the chinese food fr the deli so...thats that....i wont buy anything from them that is not boxed elsewhere.
Ewwww what if i got a parasite/fluke or something from that meat? GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Michelle...you are smart to eat nothing with a face...

Anyhow....I cancelled my Dr appt so today i have to cab it to work, grab the chq dep. then cab to 3 other stores and grab there dep's then cab to the bank....drop it all off...then cab back to work...ohhhh holy day!!!

Quote of the Snow Season for ya...thanks Guy: However,there were hordes of people with BC plates, whose facial featurescaused me to speculate that they originated from a certain largecountry in Asia, who were driving as if someone had unplugged theirFUCKING BRAINS!!!!

excuse me, can you spare a crack pipe?

sometimes when im eating something if i dont hurry and get a different taste in my mouth, like LIGHT SPEED, ill puke....weird things like...mac & cheese...baked chicken...etc...just some weird taste....that happened tongiht as i ate my rice/peas/ground beef/garlic mixture....i ran to the kitchen to chew up a flintstone vitamin to make sure i didnt throw up.

i didnt fall on my ass on the way to work, but only b/c i was lucky...it was dark...so tomorrow when i go to work in the daylight ill hit the cement....

its really quite gay how this place gets with snow...i roll my eyes...as much as i hate snow and find it to be a retarded inconvenience ppl act like a tsunami hit and they are ruined.
i mean really...look at alberta...those ppl are tough mother fuckers...thats real cold...and snow... not this whiney ass shit-- and yes im fully aware i am a whiney ass.
poor buffy hasnt had power since yesterday...and the cat just shit on her bed and ate her expensive lunch meat...THAT MY FRIENDS IS REAL HARDSHIP lol

fuck i just remembered i have a Dr appt tomorrow.
ha! i just rescheduled.
ha!

4 days til im on vacation!!! woooooohooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

fuckery

IT IS STILL FUCKING SNOWING OUT.
jesus h christ.
i need a dbl wide toboggan to get to work.
least itll be slow today...

KELLY THE FIRE GUY if my extention cord is under snow and it melts a little will i get electrocuted or burn the place down???? im thinking im gunna go outside and move a chair so the cord isnt sitting under a foot of snow...the sticky inner part im meaning....

Ayla's school is shut down...this is good...i dont have to worry about her being killed by a sliding car...just my buried in snow extention cord.

snow rhymes with NOOOOOOOOO

well my wish so did not come true.....it started snowing at about 1030 this morning and all hell broke loose....

I was not looking fwd to leaving work b/c anyone who knows me i am a prime candidate to fall flat on my ass....

its about a 1.5 min walk to the bus stop (there is NO WAY i was gunna attempt walking up the hill to my house on unshoveled/unsalted sidewalks)
and in that 1.5 mins i was soaked by 2 passing cars b slush....
yeah...fuckin A

its still snowing and tomorrows supposed to be worase than today...gee im looking fwd to the trecherous walk to work at 630 tomorrow morning....
when i got home today half a tree was covering the driveway...the snow was so heavy it just busted off this big ass branch...nice.

anyway...enough about that bullshit. fuck i hate snow. its a huge inconvenience.
my kid is still a turd. i fired her today...half way through washing windows where i work she decided she would rather not finish and just take half the pay....uhhh no....finish it or you get nothing...she didnt want to so i fired her...dunno wtf she is gunna do 4 money now...shes needing pants real bad she says...yeah...she just kissed 100.00 a month good bye - idiot. she better pray to the goddess of commericalized xmas that she scored some gift cert's for xmas.

ok im gunna go to bed...i open tomorrow and it looks like im gunna have to cram my lard ass into a garbage bag and slide down the hill to work so i better lv a little earlier.

yawnnnnnnn

no snow yet, but it is blowing like a ho @ a bachelor party out there....
which means when i trot to work in 1 hr ill arrive at work completely soaked and ruined.
yay

i drempt of something apocalyptic (is that a word?)...and the funny part is the main focus of the dream was to keep my big tv from getting broken by looter folk. hahahahahah

Voidedness

is there anything worse than spending time with someone boring? who u have very little in common with? someone void of the ability to express anything real or anything deeper than surface bullshit? i think not...in fact i prefer no humping to that that is mediocre and lacking in real substance or excitement...
there are ppl out there that can not be without *someone*...sometimes i envy this, not the co-dependence of it but the bizarre (to me) ability to be able to be open to such a thing...im well aware that my standoffish nature is completely to do with my lack of trust in humans and the universe in general and a way to ward off pain and emotional turmoil...trust me, there is not self-bullshit going on in my mind...
i do enjoy my own company...i like being alone...but i also like the idea of not always being alone...but id pick being alone than being with someone just 4 the sake of filling a void or 2...

i was recently talking with a friend who has a similar background and it is truly fascinating how humans, faced with situations as children and adults have such a broad spectrum of coping mechanisms.
they all have the same outcome...temporary suffocation of fear and pain...
some of us do better than others...some of us appear to do better than others...it always chases us down...

i was walking home in the rain tonight...Layla (Eric Clapton) came on my MP3 player....that has got to be one of the top 20 all time kick ya in the crotch rock songs ever...

i have wicked kickass heartburn...i think its this topic of discussion with myself....

mmmm pickles

greetings my little deviant friends....

thank gawd work is done for today...i have had about enough of bending over with no lube but lotsa salt...i know ive said it b4 but i swear my next job MUST NOT BE IN CUSTOMER SERVICE....i think ill go mad.

ayla's making pudding in the kitchen....

The cookie sheet is officially LOST....where the fuck could it be? I mean its not like Ayla could have pawned it 4 cash? but it is GONE from the kitchen so now i have to buy myself a new one...which isnt a big deal but i hate that it just disappeared...i wonder if i threw it in the garbage by accident?

naked cavemen rule

my cell phone is near dead and beeped all night in my purse...I drifted off to sleep lstening to it, thinking i should go turn it off or plug it in or something but then i fell asleep and it was the 1st thing i heard this morning.
I slept through it cuz i was dreaming about Matt Good again. Havent drempt about him in a long time.
Its chilly brrr cold out and its time 4 me to get over my bedding fetish.
I have more bedding then a human being needs...I horde it. Squirrell it away, it takes up way too much closet space...so im GIVING IT TO THE HOMELESS gawd dammit...its -1 today and the ppl sleeping outside need it far more than I do...
I can not imagine sleeping outdoors...I am a pussy and hate camping and to me homelessness is like camping...only no end in sight. Camping is being homeless on purpose....wtf is that? Anyway - Victoria has a large share of homeless folk for its size and this city does shit all to deal with it so when it gets cold its nice to see something getting done...although it seems gay cuz they need a hand all year and nothing gets done.
I dunno what the answer is, im not educated enough to have any clue how to deal with it, it is just too complex but it really bothers me that anyone has to sleep outside...and yeah i think there is a degree of choice for ppl on the streets...it truly boggles my mind that someone wouldnt do whatever it took to get a roof over their head...but toss in addiction and mental illness and social retardation and it gets pretty complicated.
I am plagued with massive guilt walking past these ppl downtown...I feel guilty as a human for not inviting them all to my house to sleep on my warm floor and cooking them dinner...I feel guilty that I live in a culture that lets it go on, that these ppl are so under valued...I feel ashamed that sometimes I wear my MP3 player so "I" dont have to deal with them and feel guiltier about it all. Its part of why I think xmas itself is lame...its part of why giving at xmas (while its good) is so fucking ridiculous b/c we should give all fucking year, not just when our conscience kicks in for some hypocritical xtian holiday...

ok thats my rant 4 the day.
I work 11-7....should be a decent day providing no idiots ruin it...I swear to gawd my next job will not involve dealing with inbred customers.

Quest 4 Fire is on.....

Weirddddddddddd

so u know how ive been going on about the holy toast etc....
well i googled it and came across the holy grilled cheese sandwich lady...who after biting a GCS 10+ yrs ago saw the virgin mary in her GCS and wound up getting 28K for it on ebay.

so like...10 mins after i read this and chuckle at the lame suckers in the world....i turn on miami ink (b/c u fucking americans and yer thanksgiving fucked up all my day off tv shows)...which is ok cuz i love miami ink...i drool over the owner Ami James and the hot girl Kat.
ANYWAY..........who should be on miami ink getting the virgin mary grilled cheese sandwich tattooed on herself???? THATS RIGHT...the lady who sold it for 28K.
So...ive taken it as a sign...a sign of what I DO NOT KNOW...but its a sign dammit.

my kid hates me again...oh wait...i dont think she stopped hating me from last time...but...anyway...yeah.
i will just have to get used to it and love her harder. thatll teach her.

Yesterday @ Court....

<----u gotta click on that and read it 4 the rest of this to make sense.

So yeah it did go to trial and i did have to testify...I was tempted to tell them I was unable to swear on the bible but by then i just wanted to get it all the fuck over with.
The prosecutor gal was fabulous....she kicked some ass. the legal aid rep 4 the fraudster was a lame-o. He knew his client was cooked and coundnt do shit all about it. He kept asking to testify and they wouldnt let him hahahaha

So yeah then that was over. yay! On my travels back to work I found the fantastic HOLY TOAST MAKER thingy...and nearly truly shat myself over it. I am simply amused, what can I say?!?!?!
the whole court drama wore me the fuck out, its hard work not using slang to answer questions. hahaha
so last night i was WIPED...my eyes were all fucked up and dry and itchy and dead...I got home and had a wee nap b4 going to Ms Adriennes 80s trivia birthday party...another game i thought id be good at but am only good at 1 or 2 sections...the other 5 im useless lol

I came home and chatted up Sam a little-dazzled him with my freakish wit...read Deannas HIDEOUS trip story....aside from her getting killed herself ofr killing someone EVERYTHING else went wrong....blew a tire...missed a ferry...had to kitchhike back to the city she just left...spent 200.00+ on a tow and new tire...then the CV on her car broke...has to twist tie that together...trying to make the last ferry of the night she went in the ditch cuz there was a dead elk in the middle of the road....drive guy by guy has to pull her outta the ditch (keep in mind its raining and stormy while all this is going on and she has not even a fucking radio in the car)...makes the last ferry...on the way home she breaks down in a tunnel, no one will help her...rad is leaking, cars overheating...Did i forget anything? jesus.
So I had to call her....gawd. Ida been shooting cars driving by...
By then I was in coma town....and I slept like a dead whale.

I have today off....goal is to finish all the blasphemous xmas cards and get em ready 4 the mail....watch the Price is Right while I clean and do that....then watch the young and the restless while i do other puttering...then Peoples Court is on. Then I want a nap....b/c by then I will have prepared a ROAST for dinner as well...and u know what...its my only day off for the next 7 so i will watch all the trash tv i fucking want....
I could not find hat 4 my xmas skeleton....boo-hiss....so he is staying bald 4 now.
I am using all the $ im allowed to spend at xmas in Dec on my staff and buying them a toaster oven and a buttload of food rather than taking them out for drinks and appies cuz we all just cant wait to lv those functions so this will be the gift that keeps on giving baby!
OMFG we can have almost real food at work now! w00t! w00t!
Some asshole broke into out bldgs laundry room so its been outta commission all week. How inconvenient!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE ROBERT!

I think Guy and Donna are coming for a visit Dec 2 weekend....this is groovy! Great time 4 a visit...ill be on holidays and will be able to actually do shit.
Byt the way - I have the pictures from Courtney Love's recent nude photo shoot in a UK Magazine - email me if u want em...Ill be sending them out, so if u get em and didnt want em...sorry but dont whine or ill never send u anything again haha

the HOLY TOAST

look what i found today! a device that makes HOLY TOAST!

WOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO

kill me

i have to train at a dumb store today

i think i will die

why dont we run and hide from our own fart vapors like we do other peoples??


i have 8 fingernails now.
one hand is COMPLETE.

wtf is water salad? water with trace vitamins? in a can even? weirdo asian food

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADRIENNE!!

Brat

AMAZING!

it causes me great wonder...sitting and listening to my 12 yr old tell me in no uncertain terms that i am nosey and need to stay out of her social life....b/c after all she is 12 and it isnt 1965...
the debate goes back and forth for 30 mins....she doesnt want a mom who cares or pays attention...yet shes always quick to lay a guilt trip if she feels like shes neglected.

amazing...that all i ever wanted as a teen was a mother who wasnt a crazy selfish bitch who gave a shit...and now i have a kid who wants the opposite....amazing i tell you.

my new mantra is THIS TOO SHALL PASS...
i think the only way im gunna survive teens yrs is to shut half of myself off and take nothing personally....yet...when kids end up meth heads or hooked down on John St. whos the 1st one ppl like to blame shit on...? the mom.

ugh whatever.
she at least is so irrational she cant win an argument to save her life...

single parenting is intricate...i think u have to be one (or have been one) to get a real sense of the fucked up lopsided responsibility involved...it is daunting and its like wearing a canon ball on your ankle whilst swimming....
a lot of it is my personality...i am not gret at dealing with stress so u can imagine how that factors into everyday life...
i know single parents who have different personalities, the kind where shit rolls off their backs much easier...i think they end up less miserable.

I am tempted to move to a shithole town just to spite her as i know that would KILL HER.


anyway...it just boggles my mind...being persecuted b/c you love your kid, care about their well being and fear 4 their safety 24/7...I cant wait 4 her to have kids and then she will be kissing my ass, apologizing...
HA!

anyway...im listinging to MYTHOS right now.... TYDES...do u listen to them much? I just have this one cd...and i quite love it...its Delerium-like. I like Single Gun Theory as well...

...im irritated and im going to bed to watch a movie and end this weird day.

death - no lube - retards

do you ever find yourself out in public and come to the clear realization that you live your life in your head like you are in some groovy art movie?

crowded buses make me violent...i cant tell u how many times ive waited a half hour for the next bus in hopes the next one its less crowded than the one I just refused to get on...

when im out in public i cant stand ppl...i fantasize about just beating everyone to a bloody pulp...like im Bruce Lee, only bigger and slower.

*BABEL* freaked me out....it is really emotional...imo...it is basically 4 stories surrounding one event...filmed quite beautifully...and it makes u think...too hard...but it was a really great flick...
i left the theatre is a daze...post traumatic stress disorder ha ha ha i love movies that fuck up my mind.

im feeling really foul right now...i think i need to do some writing...clear some of the fog in my head...and thats just with one night of no sleep...im unsure as to how i survived aylas 1st month on this planet when i dont think i slept at all for 30 days aside from 10 min intervals.
i need to write a letter....or 2...clear some air with ppl...one who is not comfortable with talking to me directly and another who i am not comfortable talking to directly...which is interesting b/c i usually am ok with that sorta thing once its rolling but...not in this scenario.

work is really pissing me off lately...i feel like im consistently getting bent over w/o lube and taking it in the ass for the almighty dollar...i have serious moral issues working for a corporation such as i do...ya ya ya it pays the rent and shit but...i think its just my lame ass rebel shit in my head...it doesnt sit well with me...when things are goin ok i can stifle it...but when shit is brewing it makes me hyper freakish about it.
itll pass like everything does...i watched THE SCORE last night....Ed Norton is a fabulous retard!! He is up there with Leonardo DiCaprio! SERIOUS!

ok enough whinging from me....

porcupine meatball delight

well i made meatballs last night....and they were good.
I have enough for a few days as well so im good to go. I love how the ride pokes outta the meatballs and really makes em look like baby porcupines!!!!

omfg those are so cute i think i need one!

Im going to BABEL today come hell or high water...i couldnt sleep worth shit last night...I laid there til almost 6 am. This never happens to me so its quite weird...

mmmmm peanut buster parfait!

Its a good thing I dont live next to a Dairy Queen...that's all im saying on that.

The 3rd CSI of the night is on...only 734756834 more to go.

Matt Good's post today is excellent....check it out
gotta love it when CLARITY kicks in and u want ppl to punch u out for being a dumb ass

I have the weekend off...
all i have to do it buy a set of short light morphing LED lights 4 this cock sucking tree...so far its a funny looking tree...ill get a pic and u can giggle. Do u like my star? I thought u would.

Guess im done being a fornicater...I need a new victim now...

lindsay lohan is illiterate. the end.

slept like a dead thing again...

its not raining again...
the house is covered in xmas shit.
im hitting zellers today and getting a short string of LED color changing lights 4 the tree...
thats my big adventure...aside fr the fact i have to work at a different branch for 4 hrs today...a branch that uses really new and fuck up equipment...machine that spits the $ out 4 ya so u can never not balance...only there are so many bugs in the programming you can still finish your shift with a 22K outage hahahahahahah Nicccccccce....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE JIMMY!

I went off on my kid yesterday b/c she didnt answer her phone after school when i called...."SCREAMMMMMM - why do i pay for it if u never bother to answer it - SCREAMMMMMM" etc...it then morphed into me ranting, which i dont do often...like the real rant...where I tell her shes an inconsderate little fuck and neveer takes into acct that while everyones looking out 4 her and making sure shes happy and safe there is no one giving a flying shit about me in this house and if she was any kind of human she would occasionally give back a little and not fucking spend her life just tormenting me with her every action.
ha.
She is so SICK of being grounded she sat there and said NOT A WORD (anyone who knows her knows this is as rare as a purple unicorn frolicking in your backyard)...ha ha ha
she still sat in her room all night and wouldnt come out except to beg 4 MSN time but...thats ok....it was a good tv ight and shit i had my hands full with xmas bullshit.
I have these tube lights I got from Maggie yrs ago...I love em cuz they look cool but they get really hot so i wont use them inside but now i have a balcony and im gunan use them out there...so last night i tried and when they turned on it was SOOOOOOOO bright that I turned it right back off bc it was like i was creating LIGHT pollution hahahahha no shit.
I will put them back up Dec 1 hahaha

newflash: shift change....I am covering C's shift today as she is now having a mental meltdown...poor thing.
never fun...i hope the friends place shes staying at is close to a cold beer & wine store.

blogger wont lemme post pictures AGAIN.... twats.

i hate xmas already

well fuck...i dragged all the xmas crap out and then decided once id made a big giant crap pile of a mess that i didnt feel like decorating after all...but i did make some xmas tree ornaments im giving away this year.... they fit my mood, personality and overall outlook.

today i blew 47 on the new courtney love book...
it gave me a complete hard on in the store. I plan on crawling into my bed soon and molesting it.

the man whos name i refuse to type called me today and i answered by accident butluckily i was on a bus heading downtown and only had 3 mins left on my phone so i couldnt talk.
ill return his call tomorrow...maybe we will get in a big fight...no probably not...u have to give a crap to fight about something and its quite obvious to me this roll in the hay isnt all that important to him.

I think ill go see BABEL this weekend...i wanna see Brad Pitt cry.

slept like a dead sea lion underwater in a patch of kelp

ohhh yeah i slept good...I plugged in Lords of Dogtown and drifted off to the sound of skateboard wheels and cute skaterboys...im doing laundry and then im gunna jet downtown and hang out - its not raining and the hurricane winds are gone so its a good day 4 it.

i gotta buy vegetables today too! weeeeeeeeee gawd im a bundle of unearthly excitement.

HAPPY BARFDAY COUSIN KELLY~

...flickering lights...

the wind has stopped...just like that.
it was blowing like a mofo all night, rattling the patio doors even, shaking the whole bldg, then just like that ---- DONE.
what a rip off...i love it when its all violently stormy.

work today was weird.
when i first got there C. came to me and told me her partner of 7 yrs has been fucking someone else and has knocked up the other girl.
guess how she found out? she was concerned about him (hes in the navy and out on a ship presently) and looked in his email for a weather report he gets special through the navy (they both have access to each others email) and what does she find...an email from "mandi" talking about an ultrasound, baby names etc.
i dunno how she didnt lose her fucking marbles right then and there.
7 years...wtf is the point?
what a shiteating hurtful thing to do to someone...
anyway this pretty much laid out the way the day was gunna go...

the englishman wanted to come over tonight...so last night he invited himself...said he would grab a movie etc...ok wtf, i havent seen him in well over 3 weeks...i dont particularly like having to re arrange my whole fucking bedroom but wtf...lifes rough aint it?
9 pm rolls around...he calls...ranting about this and that and how hes in a pissy mood and isnt in the mood to come over now.
Uh-huh.
okay then...wow...how nice to just cancel plans at the last moment b/c you are in a mood.
tempermental little twat...im really pissed off...he has pissed me off a little more than im comfortable with these days...i already have one moody fucking kid to deal with - way too high maintenance.
so yeah...i think im done.

screw u japan

keep your damn earthquakes in check over there b/c i do not want any more tsunami warnings here wrecking my gawd damn chi!

my kid is back to her regularly scheduled ignorant self...it took about 3 mins being home and she was in a crap mood. ive decided i am gunna turn off the single mom guilt (that shit is lethal i can assure u) and just let her hide in her room and be an anti social fucktard from now on. as long as she isnt doing crystal meth in there or starting fires, what the hell.

it gets old fighting a battle that is apparently unwinnable...so ill just let her be a tard and go on with my own shit and she will either grow out of it or we wont speak when she puts me in a fat lady nursing home when im 65.

payday is this friday thank gawd.

omfg i get this call yesterday from work...a hooker trying to cash a chq she got from a john....ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa WTF!! why would someone pay with a fucking chq?!?!?! that is a cash business man! do u really want your sexual lameness advertised at financial institutions? and what if it bounces? that is NOT a collection call I want to make hahah hahaha no fucking way hahahahaha the stupidity of ppl still astounds me.

banjos, cold feet & boners

My feet are frozen

I need slippers

I was in a thrift store today and found 3 amazing treasures...im giving them to Erica, as she has a turntable and Im proud of her 4 that.

Who DOESN'T need a Ukrainian Dancing record?

and OMFG...a Mormon Choir and the Lords Prayer???

Fuck its bonerlicious!

But this is the gran-daddy of em all!!!!

Duelling Banjos!!! the Deliverance Soundtrack!!! hahah hahaha I nearly popped myself a hernia grabbing at that record....

My gawd its 1 degree...thats almost ZERO! No wonder im freezing! GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!

glitter glue & skater boys

i think i just made xmas cards for 12 hrs straight.
i am covered in glitter glue.

the englishman called...told me about his weekend.
told me again where he slept and where his ex slept.
i find this odd...i generally think that when ppl over
explain things its b/c they did something wrong and
theyre trying to hard to pretend they didnt...
but...i think he might just be thinking i need reassurance.
figures...a guy finally acts like he cares about my feelings
and i just happen to not have any about this particular topic.

ayla blew all her cash in vancouver on clothes...shes thrilled
out of her mind.
my mother called me today.
gawd help me...she is a nut.

question: when do u think *comedy* goes too far? im not one
4 censorship of any kind, i just kinda dont pay attention to things
like comedy if it doesnt make me laugh but i was recently conversing with someone about BORAT...ok its Guy, and he doesnt like him at all...now im fairly new to the Borat scene
only having seen a few episodes b4 seeing the movie...comedy rarely holds my interest for very long so in a yr ill be *Borat, who?* but...has he gone too far? i dunno...i dont give comedy too much thought unless it blatantly makes fun of fat ppl, then i hate it haha

my uterus is screaming for cauterization...i think its all the glitter glue, it stimulates my anti-coagulated biology and i bleed like a stuck pig.

i have no been laid in quite some time and i think its beginning to piss me off.
its been a few weeks...which is funny b/c i once went 6 yrs and couldnt have cared less cuz i was all in mommy mode...holy shit arent those days over.

i watched a doc on the dogtown skater boys of the 70's....mmm i like skater boys...which is why i own the Lords of Dogtown DVD....cuz im like...14 hahahahha

Blogger isnt posting pictures. Sometimes i wish there was a paid version of Blogger that actually works.

Ding! Dong! the Brat is Gone!

I had a dream that I moved into a new place with a guy who was always trying to make out with me and i was too distracted to dig it b/c my old cat Milo (RIP kitty) was there and I was trying to get him settled cuz all the sudden there were 384573987598375934857 cats roaming our house...so weeks go by in thsi dream and i SUDDENLY realize i forgot to put out a litter box!!!!!!

hahahahahahahaha

Nice to know my mind is so full of shit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JERRI ANN!!!!!!!

Im going back to bed now.

I am a boring shithead

its a CSI night apparently....I am always in shock at how many times a day there is a CSI on.

tomorrow night after work I think im gunna go see the ILLUSIONIST .... get some Edward Norton action in my life...its playing at the cheap theatre as an added treat.

Sometimes im amazed at how truly boring I am....and then I laugh at myself for thinking other ppl are boring...more boring than I am...but im not sure thats possible.
Now I am becoming truly astounded at the level of my boringness...that'll teach me for overthinking this...cuz in my head its always just going and going and never bored but...bloody hell...its a wonder i have any friends at all.

I really wanna get SKIN & BONES (foo fighters)...ive heard some on the radio and im digging it...i was sad to miss that tour :o( -- so the cd will be a nice conselation.
The new Incubus too....

gawd.....im too fucking boring to live.

good night

never fall asleep watching A&E's cold case mysteries

fuck man....its stormy here...I got up at 530 am to bring in the mardarins off the balcony cuz i was sure theyd blow away...

GROUNDING sucks.
after this im gunna get more creative with my punishment - the walking around the house pouting makes me want to rip her lips off...
I think ill stick 2 the NO computer and NO cable, then she has to use her brain and make other plans at least.
Fucking offspring.
I spent most of my teenage yrs grounded...3 mths @ a time sometimes...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRUCIFER!

The Englishman has his girls and his ex wife over this weekend. I think he thought I gave a shit or something b/c he kept assuring me he would be sleeping on the cot while she and the grrls would be in his bed.
it's neither here nor there really...im pretty much in shrug mode, apathy is a curse and a blessing.

So i have a kidless weekend...im sure ill do shit all...but will enjoy the silence and the NON COMPLAINING, except 4 what goes on in my own head.

Never fall asleep on the couch with the cold case show on A&E....the gruesomeness weeds its way into your dreams and makes for grossness in your head.....barf

The GREEN Goblet!

Ooo ooo ooo look what I found today!!!!! A GREEN CHUNKY GOBLET....yes all u fuckers are gunna hear about every gawd damn goblet i ever add to my collection MuHAHAH HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHAHA

Anyway, moving on...Ayla and I went ot Erica's tonight to hang 4 a bit...her house was FUCKING FREEZING (cheap polish chick hahahaha im laughing cuz she will read this and gasp) but I have been wanting to see her new apt 4 so long it was about bloody time!
i got some FABULOUS goodies from her! jesus stickers, a key chain size rubber chicken egg layer, jesus fridge magnet, funky paper etc. FAB FAB FAB! Erica's going to the UK/Switzerland 4 xmas...everyone collectively WILL her to insure any parcels she sends home, ok? (MuHAHAHAHAHAHA)

Im warm now.
I think im gunna let Ayla go to Vancouver...Ive never been a GIVE-INNER parent but fuck i dont want her sitting here on her 4 day weekend doing shit all, pissing me off cuz she grounded and bored so i think ill offer her the option to go but itll cost her the rest of next week being grounded to make up 4 it. Far more fair than she deserves...but I did make her cry 2x today so it feels fair hahahahahhaa

haha bumbling moron

CLICK HERE
Im watching Bush on tv right now, live, bumbling his way through a press conference about hte Democrats taking over congress....
This gives me a complete 12 inch boner.

He's stuttering, cracking stupid nervous jokes, bumbling, shrugging off the LOSS, stumbling over his words & stupid ideas, cutting reporters off, being abrupt and really looking like a sad miserable loser...it is BEAUTIFUL to see him on his way out....simply beautiful.

Now hes contradicting himself, all within this 20 min speech...he is LIEING...hahah hahahah its fucking WEIRD to watch...I love it that this pisses him off so so so MUCH...
He is arguing with reporters now....and getting more pissed off...this is better than The Young and the Restless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--------------------
this think they should do this EVERYWHERE. click here

little bit o' this & a little bit o' that

manager meeting was most interesting...
i have been crowned oscar the grouch...
LL is negative nelly
KS is the cheerleader (aka ELMO)
KM is the cynic
RD is reserved but assertive
TH is a flighty hippy
LN - fuck i dont even know what she is ...


I like my title. You can tell which managers I tend to be drawn to though im sure...so yeah we determined this is like work place highschool...but guess what my opinion is? if I have the choice to call on one of my peers its going to be one i know and trust and LIKE...welcome to the real world. If anyone thinks im gunna start calling Elmo when I can call Negative Nelly....they are on fucking crack.
I dunno if this makes any sense at all to anyone but me and a few others but...I just needed to vent. haha
I can honestly say I am NOT FOND of this cry baby bullshit in the work place, ohhh so and so doesnt like me and never calls me....shut the fuck up and get over it...can u fucking imagine? I have no patience for weak spirited ppl.

Well I think everyone and their dog applied for DEAL OR NO DEAL when I sent a link out last week...hahahaha I hope someone i know wins cash and spreads it around a little, esp b/c ill be forced to go as a cheerleader and u KNOW how i feel about that! haha

Im off today and tomorrow but I think im gunna pop into work a little today and do some crap and just come in laste on friday...
I should not have bought that DVD Drive the other day...now im broke...Im not used to be being broke...not broke like STARVING NO $ broke but very little to mess around with...that bugs me.

Im forcing myself outdoors today.

season of the pickles

Oooo I like the Lettuce Goblet!!!!!












im a tard...the other day i dragged all the xmas shit out...and its piled nicely in a corner...eagerly awaiting my lack of resistance so it will be put up...
im looking fwd to digging out the tree ornaments...particularly the PICKLE XMAS TREE ornaments...I have 3 or 4 now...always on the look out for more...Aunty Cathy said theres a crapload on ebay, she was right haha I have decided i also must get pickle salt n pepper shakers...so if yer ever thrift storing it...think of Jen.
Ive also decided im collecting odd big chunky goblets... weird ass ones that u randomly find in thrift stores with no matching ones. yeah.

im still laughing about BORAT and how he talked about Jewish ppl in the movie....then im thinking (cuz im so smart...) that with the last name Cohen he is proabably Jewish so...it was even more funny after that.

shitload of birthdays this month...Brucifer, Jerri, Kelly, Jim, Robert, Connie and Adrienne...bloody hell!
Hey guess what!!? Guy is going on a crusade...He fights in the name of she who is called Jen.
NO SHIT hahahahahahahahaha I love that! MuHahahahahaHahahahaha

Borat - Bratty Kid - Gluestick

Borat made me gasp a few times....but man it was funny....the nasty Jesish references were so truly over the top you couldnt help but laugh...
I enjoyed all the US bashing as well.
Afterwards I bought a DVD burner. I installed but fuck if i can make it burn a DVD for me lol Will have to fiddle with it a bit apparently.

Ayla is in deep deep kaka...not only has she been MISBEHAVING (I will leave it at that) shes gotten so fucking lippy and shitty that shes no longer going to Vancouver for the long weekend, which is as much torture for me as it is 4 her really if u think about it. Sucks b/c Uncle mIke was gunna take her and Ash to THIS... stupid kid.
So yeah she is probably plotting how to kill me in my sleep, she hates me guts. It's kind of nice, she just hides in her room, its like shes away for the weekend aside fr the fact I cook for her. I just need a little slot in her door like in prison so i can toss her plate through.
I have a Manager Meeting tomorrow....im FRIGHTENED. The itinerary is going to stem from THIS ....Like fuck....I dont even trust real life ppl, having trust in co-workers is VERY over the top 4 me. lol Its kinda Dr Phil-ish but Ive decided to stay quiet and listen and not be a negative asshole right off the bat or TC will string me up and beat me to death.

Anyway...everyone and there dog ----------- whoa! i forgot where I was going with that.

I had NO idea 30 SECONDS TO MARS was the jared leto band!!!!! WTF. Michelle B sent me a few of their dongs and i liked them!!!!!! I was reading barb's blog and she hates jared leto...im going back to read why now: brb - He talked shit about your niece????? EXPLAIN PLZ!?!?!?!

I am really irritated...i honestly cant stand it when my kid is being a little fucktard...she rants about wanting to live somewhere else, where life will be all fine and dandy b/c I wont be there....thankless job I tell u...completely THANKLESS. This is precisely why I did not have any more children, it is NOT my thing, im not cut out for it...and im NOW starting to see the wisdom in things aunty pam has said about *if I could go back and do over again....*
I dunno, maybe Ayla will grow out of being an asshole...then I wont have dreams of beating her SILENT.
For all u young parents out there....rethink raising your children to be witty free thinkers...and having them master sarcasm by the age 4. It will bite u in the ass.

So yeah I havent been on here much....im making xmas cards now so im in GLUESTICK mode hardcore! wooohooooo I need more magazines dammit! I get all obsessive about the glue and scissors, its bizarre....like coloring with felts. I cant stop once i start...

saturday....fog & rain

thursday night i ate so much bread and pasta that i lapsed into a coma afterwards....i sat on my couch unable to move and just kinda tipped over (*see cow tipping) and fell asleep like a drunken old fuck. I woke up at 1130pm, ER was long over and I still felt like was in pasta pergatory.
pre-menstration is an evil time...i turn into one of thse mental patients who have to be limited of water and have it rationed out to them b/c they will drink themselves until they drown... (Psychogenic polydipsia is a type of polydypsia with psychological causes sometimes described in patients with mental illnesses or learning difficulties. While psychogenic polydipsia is generally not found outside the population of those with serious mental disorders, there is some anecdotal evidence of a milder form (typically called 'habit polydispsia' or 'habit drinking') that can occasionally be found in the absence of psychosis or other mental conditions.)
only with food.... ha ha ha ha ha I recall Connie working in a mental hospital for a practicum of some sort once and there were ppl locked up who had toilets without water in it (they'd drink the water in it if they did), and the taps they had just dribbled out little bits of water....MESSED UP!
Anyhow....thats me with food right b4 the tomato boat docks 4 the month...INSANE...and no matter how many yrs I live it is a surprise to me each and every frikkin month....I dunno why!!!!! Maybe i am more than a little retarded??
I work today 10-6...Donna wants to see Pirates of the Carr. 2 tonight at the cheap theatre...seeing as the englishman was out with the boys last night im sure he will be as useless as tits on a nun so it sounds like a good idea to me. I drempt last night the englishman was a midget and he was waiting 4 me after work and I kept him waiting a long time (this pisses him off in real life something fierce) so when i went out there his little midget self was walking away in a huff and i grabbed him and got on my knees so we were eye level and asked him to settle down so i could apologize....i think i actually was chuckling as a i woke up lol
My left had has 5 - YES I SAID 5 - intact UNBITTEN FINGERNAILS! and the right has 3...thats 8!!!!!!! only 2 more to go! WOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOO
***i have lovely pictures to go with this post but as per usual bloggers being a cunt and wont post any*** THE END

CALLING ALL PIRATE BABIES!

I just downloaded some old anthrax b/c after watching SUPER GROUP on Much More Music Scott Ian's presence inspired me to revisit it.....
I think he is the only one on that show that is not mentally deficient in some way. Sebastian, while hot as hot can be, is a fucking princess and im sure he is ADHD...Ted Nugent is far too full of himself...Ohhh Jason Bonham is fine too...hes pretty low key and he has an english accent...
and Evan Seinfeld...hes bi-polar I think....hes married to a pornstar for gawds sake....*eyeroll*
They are entertaining if nothing else...it is funny to watch Sebastian flail and spazz out and then all the other talk shit about him. ha ha ha

------LAUNDRY BREAK---------

I had to beat 4 old ladies to death to get my shit in 1st but I made it! ok not really....
So as it turns out I must keep the heat cranked but windows cracked open to avoid the dribbley window issue....

NOTE TO SELF: check rental papers and MAKE SURE heat is included in the rent.

Why is everyone so pissy that Madonna adopted an African baby? Fuck the thing was dieing in an orphanage...its hardly the worse thing shes ever done in her life. I am FAR more offended when celebs adopt white blonde haired blue eyed babies...those arent the ones that need parents the most...there will always be a place 4 those little babies...nobody wants the brown ones...the cracked out ones...the hare-lipped ones....so if someone, ANYONE, wants one then GOOD I say.
Personally if I was stupid enough and drugged enough to ever adopt a child (im not against adoption at all i just dont like kids really) id pick a weirdo one....like a pirate baby with one eye... or one with a second head on its shoulder...

Spank Me Borat!

Brucifer's bday is coming up...I spent the last hour making him a giant comic of out TOOL Concert Adventure...he is always regretful about all my highschool comics being MIA...guess they were the highlight of grade 12 for him...thats what i did all through highschool...wrote letters and notes to ppl, drew comics and pretty much just did sweet fuck all. Anyhoo...thats been MY evening....
CSI is on, I swear, 384758937583745x a day....

I have tomorrow off, laundry day....woot! woot!
Ayla went to Dylan's after school and got home right at bedtime..... NICE TALKING TO YA LADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can feel the cold wind blowing through my windows...im glad heat is free in this bldg...drippy frikkin wondows that make the sills turn into PONDS if you dont clean them with anal retentive dedication weekly...gawd i detest that...in my old apt. id grow some pretty freaky shit in the window sills...it became a science project.

I am a CHAMPION! I completed Month End all TODAY! 1 DAY!!!!!!!! 1 GLORIOUS DAY!!!!
MuHAAhahahahHAHAHAHahhahahahaa I can die happy now.....its usually a 5 day affair! (start humming Queen's WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS now)

Sunday me and the Englishman are going to see BORAT the movie...the Englishman and i dont generally do things out and about in public....we did breakfast on the weekend and that was the 1st time we have ever gone OUTSIDE together hahahaha
BORAT is gunna be a fucking hoot...Guy M. wont be lining up to see it (haha) but...thats ok...